• Male orgasm curiosity

    1399183200
    mnms [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 103
    • Joined: 19 Oct 2013

    Hello all!

    I was recently talking to a male friend who has trouble climaxing during sexual intercourse with female partners. He says he has never climaxed during intercourse, oral or handjobs. I definitely struggle to orgasm with a partner and I know there's lot of things out there to aid women in reaching orgasm (including great adivce from Lovehoney members!), but the majority of aids for men seem to be aimed at delaying orgasm.

    Are there any aids to help men reach orgasm faster? Or indeed, reach it at all? Do things that help to increase sex drive help with reaching orgasm?

    Thanks!

    1399190221
    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2481
    • Joined: 12 Sep 2010

    Hi Mnms, Like most things there can be many reasons for this. One can be circumcision, this can reduce sensitivity. Though it sounds as though your friend has some psychological issues that maybe blocking him from enjoying sex with some one else you will need to ask. I am assuming that he can only orgasm on his own. So Iam not sure that sexual aids are what he needs, I think this is only dealing with the symptoms and not the cause. The potential list is huge. Upbringing, is it dirty naughty. Is he actually struggling with his sexuality. I have heard of this sort of issue coming from being abused. Then all the usual, health. Smoking, drinking, weight, blood pressure, stress and general fitness. Sorry bit of a derail.

    Yes there are all sorts of male enhancements. Creams, oils and gels most add heat or a tingle durex do a line one is called heat the other is called tingle he could try these. For me however I would suggest a prostate massager, like the rude boy range. The joy of these they can be left in place to do there thing whilst enjoying all the usual sexual activity. Really they are a butt plug just for men. Hope this helps him and you. Could luck.

    1399191049
    Sum Sub [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 4379
    • Joined: 4 Dec 2012

    Have you tried abstinence?

    If you can leave the old chap alone for a while, including self pleasure then you may well find that sensitivity and responsiveness are increased.

    Also if you wank "too much" then you'll end up training your cock that only your method will make you cum. Death grip I think they call it.

    The other thing perhaps to try is non stimulating foreplay

    1399192595
    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2481
    • Joined: 12 Sep 2010

    Sum Sub wrote:

    Have you tried abstinence?

    If you can leave the old chap alone for a while, including self pleasure then you may well find that sensitivity and responsiveness are increased.

    Also if you wank "too much" then you'll end up training your cock that only your method will make you cum. Death grip I think they call it.

    The other thing perhaps to try is non stimulating foreplay

    Great post Subby have too agree missed that one " leave the old chap alone". Lol.

    1399197819
    Ginger Ninja Minge [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 198
    • Joined: 20 Aug 2011

    The only thing I can really say here is that he should take things a little softer. The penis does a good - albeit horrible - job of adapting to stimulation and if it appears too much it ends up losing sensitivity to allow men to last longer.

    That's been horribly true for me and what I noticed is when I restricted myself to using a Fleshlight (which barely did anything for me at all and took something ridiculous like an hour to climax), the penis ended up adapting to become more sensitive. Of course, now, it's gone back to not being all that sensitive but it's not like that matters considering I'm single.

    The thing with men and masturbation is that it's hard to feel the sensitivity deteriorate because when it does, more pressure is applied to accommodate for the lack of sensitivity, and as such the penis loses more sensitivity to last longer during sex or masturbation. Ergo the good ol' deathgrip.

    I'm probably spurting a load of nonsense here, but that is at least what it seems like anyway. The tighter the grip, the less sensitive it gets. That's why Fleshlight is always a good option to go for to increase sensitivity since it's soft and doesn't constrict the penis anywhere near as much as good ol' deathgrip. It's merely a suggestion though, but I did see substantial results when I did restrict myself to the Fleshlight. It's either that or not masturbating for a while. I know what I would choose.

    1399213431
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2236
    • Joined: 18 Oct 2011

    No Ginger, you are not spouting a lot of old nonsense. You speak the truth. I agree with you and Sum Sub, that for males who indulge in a lot of masturbation (eg during periods of being single etc) they can "get used" to needing that firmer, more direct stimulation. Called death grip syndrome.

    Again what Sum Sub said I would agree with, abstain from masturbating with his hand for a while and allow the sensitivity to come back through other, gentler sensations.

    If it does not, it could indeed be a psychological issue as GG stated.

    1399221213
    Shadwell [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 18
    • Joined: 28 Mar 2014

    Death grip hum

    this would all depend on the chaps stature

    I like to think I am fit and my work is very heavy so I have a very right grip

    slynks is a lot smaller than me and yes I agree she has never taken me to organum via hand but we do not have a problem with the end product lol

    1399221909
    slinx [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 106
    • Joined: 1 Jan 2014

    Shadwell wrote:

    Death grip hum

    this would all depend on the chaps stature

    I like to think I am fit and my work is very heavy so I have a very right grip

    slynks is a lot smaller than me and yes I agree she has never taken me to organum via hand but we do not have a problem with the end product lol

    No theres no problem with that lol!

    1399238553
    malechauvinist [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 63
    • Joined: 2 May 2014

    I would have to ask, does he want to reach orgasm in those ways?

    I hardly ever orgasm when stimulated by another person. I'm a very private individual in that regard and simply don't enjoy orgasms unless I give them to myself, by myself. Having someone else in on the fun - fun which I feel should be exclusively mine - just ruins it for me. It's like an invasion of privacy. Kind of like if you were trying to meditate and someone else kept chattering at you you.

    It's not a 'problem', it's just how I am. I like it this way.

    The point is though, it was a while into my life before I realised just how much pleasure I could get from the solitude of masturbation, as opposed to sex or any other kind of erotic interaction with a third party. I thought I was defective goods until I realised that actually I just prefer it this way. Is it possible that this person has similar feelings, but just hasn't realised it yet?

    1399242669
    Frankie21 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 71
    • Joined: 24 Apr 2014

    I think everyone's different and that some men, and some women, just find it harder to orgasm.

    I think rather than working on something physical it might be better to work on the mental aspect. Relax. Develop a healthy fantasy life. Think about sex, a lot. Think about what turns you on. Read erotic stories.

    Reaching orgasm is probably 40% physical and 60% mental.

    1399247414
    mnms [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 103
    • Joined: 19 Oct 2013

    He's told me that he gets more pleassure from pleasing his partner, more than receiving pleasure himself. So he likes to focus on the woman and puts himself second, that's kind of like me I guess. But I think he does masturbate every night, so the 'deathgrip' syndrome thing makes sense!

    1399318920
    MattB [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 326
    • Joined: 20 Jan 2014

    Tbh, I'vd never had an orgasm that I didn't 'cause' myself... I don't have a problem orgasming through masturbation or through intercourse (if I set the speed!) but never through a handjob or oral.

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.