• toys/masturbation not doing it for me?

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    kitty29 [sign in to see picture]
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    Simply speaking I have not had sex in a while so have been making use of toys/masturbation and while this can be great in itself I am always left feeling like I want the real thing even more, I would say that I do not have a particularly high sex drive but DIY just doesn't do it for me and just leaves me wanting something more every time.

    Does any one else feel this way?

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    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Kitty and welcome. I think this is only natural. As a man masturbation on your own is always second best the real thing.

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    kitty29 [sign in to see picture]
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    Gentle giant wrote:

    Hi Kitty and welcome. I think this is only natural. As a man masturbation on your own is always second best the real thing.

    Thanks, but should maybe add that I am saying this as a woman...

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    Jazzam [sign in to see picture]
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    I always find this. Personally I find it really hard to do anything real solo... even if I do reach orgasm I don't really feel satisfied, just exhausted - especially mentally lol

    The only thing that makes it a little easier, is larger toys that you "ride" or generally being on my knees is about the best to the real thing I find...

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    leahslooloo [sign in to see picture]
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    I go solo very often even though i do have a partner sometimes i feel fulliled other times not and it can be very frustrating. I have put a realistic dildo on my wish list with a suction cup so i can try more positions with this see if feels more like the reel thing :-) perhaps give one a try you can get them from love honey for as little as £9.99

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    Hopelessly Horny [sign in to see picture]
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    kitty29 wrote:

    Simply speaking I have not had sex in a while so have been making use of toys/masturbation and while this can be great in itself I am always left feeling like I want the real thing even more, I would say that I do not have a particularly high sex drive but DIY just doesn't do it for me and just leaves me wanting something more every time.

    Does any one else feel this way?

    You're not alone in this feeling. I can sometimes find it highly satisfying but for me its got a lot to do with the mental side so can just be exhausting to think of a scenario & get myself turned on so can relax and enjoy the toy. I can definitely say its rare I get satisfaction from just a toy and no mental scenario running.... Very frustrating and can regularly leave me craving my OH more.
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    scarab9 [sign in to see picture]
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    Most people feel this. Simply, an orgasm isn't everything. There's much more involved in sex with a partner and you can't fulfill all those needs solo.

    Experimentation can keep things a bit more interesting though. Also erotica can improve the mental side somewhat.

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    Dali256 [sign in to see picture]
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    Ive heard that quite often. I guess you just cant replace the real thing . Until they invent the sex bot of course!

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    xiaojezebel [sign in to see picture]
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    I enjoy experimenting with toys, but to have the full-on screaming orgasms I need a man. Toys just don't cut it.

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    rose hip [sign in to see picture]
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    Today I'm not just wanting sex, I'm wanting the slow rolling waves of half awake morning after sex. Hard to manage that without a partner.

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    naughty mum [sign in to see picture]
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    Depends on what you use..... I am finding a bullet with a dildo a great combo...get something with a bit of girth if you feel better with being full

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    Honeymotzi [sign in to see picture]
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    After my partner has been away for 6 months in Afghan I have been struggling to feel the motivation to play. Truth me told I had never thought I'd orgasmed on my own and after many hours on the hunt for the big O I was feeling pretty flat and my sex drive had just gone completely.

    That's when after some reading on forums, I got a magic-wand, ran myself a hot shower, put on sexy outfit that I feel good in, got my favourite music playing and sat down to have a little me time. I'd lie down and fantasise about having a playmate and what we'd be doing and touch myself like it was someone else! What I learnt from this is that the most important thing you can do for your sex drive is treat yourself, be happy with who you are and enjoy what you do. If it feels like a chore then you need to make yourself realise you're worth more than that and deserve to feel good. At the end of the day you don't need a man to feel good about yourself, but unless you love yourself you won't be able to make love to yourself! :)
    Don't feel silly, don't go into it expecting anything and open your mind and have a fantasy.

    And second to that I also learned that the feeling like I can't go on when I'm having my me time, the muscle tightening and the loosing my rhythm, that was my orgasm!! I'd been expecting for so long to have this massive explosion that I for years I didn't pay attention to my own body and what was actually happening. I had all these expectations and was so frustrated all the time and loosing my focus. Now I realise and pay attention to every feeling I can enjoy it so much more and focus on how I feel. I've had a bit of a breakthrough and now I'm feeling good about myself and paying attention to myself and my needs.. the only problem is now I can't stop!

    Just give yourself the time of day you deserve! It won't be the same as sex with a partner but who said different is a bad thing? :)

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