• my man has no sex drive

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    cherry91 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 1
    • Joined: 25 Nov 2013

    hi, I have bin with my partner for 2 yrs and we never have sex unless I instagate it but then it feels fourced, im on top always no fun, no passion and i end up thinking why did I even bother so then ill ' fake it' and he gets up cleans him self n gose dun stairt! its not just the sex we dont snog ever just a little kiss. No passion no getting hot i want you now feeling. I love him with all my heart and i have tied evorything i mean evorything if i try n talk about it he shuts off all i get is that he just osent want it ever, i try and instagate it more to try n get him to enjoy it get a feel for it nothing, i try going with out see if he notices i just end up going with out. I'm at the point where i masterbate befor he comes home. The worst part is i find my self thinking of past lovers and the way thay were make me feel awfull i feel un wanted iv gaind weight becouse i just feel so dun. Really dont know what to do.

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    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2479
    • Joined: 12 Sep 2010

    Hi Cherry91 welcome to the forums. I am sorry to hear about your situation.

    For me their is something more to this. You must find a way to communicate with him about this. If all else fails try writting a good old fashioned letter.

    Hi my sister in law was married to someone very simular. The root of his issue was his upbringing. His mother had split from his father when he was an infant. He is then brought up by his mother who had become a man hater. He always said she didn't want him and there was no love. Sex was dirty and that thing between his legs would get him into trouble.

    They way we are brought up to think about sex has a massive impact on who we are sexualy. Tread carefully but I think there is something holding him back. I am sure we can help you here. Please keep posting and good luck.

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    BrumGuy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 496
    • Joined: 16 Jun 2011

    Hi cherry91 and welcome. You must try to comunicate with him if you value the love that you have for him.

    When you do, try not to critisise him directly you don't want a confrontation. Don't say you don't give me this or that, but say that you feel as if you would like more kissing, touching, hugging, time together. etc.

    You've felt good in the past, you can feel good again, don't give up.

    Would he go with you for counciling? You probably go yourself to get some advice.

    'Relate' counciling springs to mind.

    Hope you find a way. x

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    Little Miss DD [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 16
    • Joined: 12 Feb 2014

    I'm in a similar position with my partner :/

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    Brooke. [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 42
    • Joined: 4 Aug 2012

    Loss of libido is also an obvious sign of an unstable mental state - I'm not talking as deep as GGs sister in law - instead, is he stressed? Work or personal life? Showing any other signs of depression? How is he about going out socialising etc You mentioned that he shuts off when you mention this -could be be concealing deeper emotions?

    II've been through this and its tough, if its putting a strain on your relationship then you need to confront him. However, try not to be so direct . Instead, ask him about how he is, how he feels, that your worried about him not talking to you and opening up - men are rubbish at this I'm afraid, but it'll send a better message than 'why won't you have sex with me!?'

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    KinkyFuckery [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3587
    • Joined: 10 Jul 2012

    I was like that with my ex hes an ex for a reason dont be unhappy life is too short

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