• Turned a huge corner

    SusanG [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 10
    • Joined: 30 Mar 2014

    Well my first post is a bit of a long one but I wanted to get it off my chest!!!

    My OH and I have gone through a really hard patch in the last 3 years when I had a miscarriage. Things before and leading up to the pregnancy were great lots of sex and extremley happy planning to get married. The miscarriage really changed everything, although he was fantastic supporting me through it and bringing up his son (my step son).

    Well things came to a head during an argument about 3 weeks ago and I went to bed angry with him and he followed shortly after but was still upset. Both in tears we got talking about things and I opened up to him that I thought he blamed me for the miscarriage because he used to tell me to not think negatively about it and to try and enjoy the pregnancy.

    He had never ever said anything to me about blaming me and the truth is more that I blamed myself, he explained that he had not even for a second blamed me and that he was hurting aswell. He had split up from his partner about 9 months before we met and was raising one of her kids as his own (although it wasn't biloigically his) and had been doing so since he was 6 months old. She suddenly out of the blue decided she didn't want him to have her son (but also didn't want him herself) so he was placed up for adoption as she refused to let him have him.

    He was already applying for custody order for both children as originally she had agreed for him to go with him. He had to jump through so many hoops to get residency of his own son as the courts don't tend to favour the dads. But social services said their was nothing they could do and couldn't support residency as he wasn't his child so he had to say goodbye after raising him for 3 years.

    It was very strange to see him so honest and open about things, and we both agreed to try harder and he would goto the doctors about his depression about both things and I would do the same.

    Well during that conversation we just started kissing and one thing lead to another and had sex and curled up with each other and fell asleep. Since then I've been as horny as anything, we've both been honest about what we want an exchanged some sexy texts while I was at work.

    We showered together the other night and then said about getting some Lingerie and I agreed so he setup this account for me and ordered


    We are hoping it arrives today, I'm currently typing this from work. But I feel we really turned a huge corner and have been open and honest with a lot of things including my own things I would have never admitted to being ever so slightly bi-curious. Something that i've never ever admitted to anyone. Don't get me wrong I love my OH and am really happy with him but the thought of another women joining us just turns me on so much!!

    I doubt we will ever act on it but the fact we spoke about it and he didn't do that typical bloke thing of jumping at it, he was more taken aback and shocked but as he never realised. It took him a few days before we spoke about it again and he said it could be something but wanted us to be 100% sure before we did anything but he likes me talking about what I would like!

    lil ms [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 6
    • Joined: 17 Jan 2014

    Hey there, I've been through a similar experiance except for the other kids in your life part, I had been with my partner for 4 years when we decided to try for a family and unfortunatly I had a misscarige too, it broke my heart and I blamed myself too. It caused a huge rift between me and my partner for some time. However there is light at the end of the tunnel. We are great with each other now, so open and honest no matter what plus we have a gorgeous 2 year old son who's turned our world upside down! I hope everything works out for both of u and use have ur little family soon, just keep ur chin up u sound like ur on the right path so far now! Take care! X

    LadyS [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1058
    • Joined: 4 Jul 2012

    Hi Susan,

    Welcome to LH, I am sure you will lots of information on here to help you and your hubby continue to be open and honest with each and to keep exploring.

    I sympathise with so much of your post. I too lost a baby, although in different circumstances in april last year. The aftermath of that and all the emotions I went through and also the time of life I am at prompted a great deal of soul searching. I also felt I had nothing left to lose by being totally open with my husband about my desires, and things I wanted to explore. That is what led me to LH.

    I actually only came on for some massage oil and some sexy knickers. I now have lots more vibes, bondage tape, glass dildos and anal toys.

    I hope you too continue to enjoy lots of new and sexy times with you husband x

    blonde vixen13 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2212
    • Joined: 23 Jun 2012

    I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage. It sounds like you both have been living with a lot of built up emotions that have gone in discussed for such a long time. Getting those of your chest and taking the time to open up with one and other will really help. It will also have been aas dive way of letting go of stress. Stress is one of the biggest libdo killers for both men and women.
    Finding LH probably saved my relationship when I was going through postnatal depression. My husband and I used to sit down together looking at products and reading the reviews. We would get so turned on reading them that we would end up in bed. It also have us the opportunity to talk about things like toys or BDSM that we had never previously done together.
    I hope now you have your account you will become a frequent forum member and make use of all the great advise on here. Sign up for deal of the day emails and keep an eye out for all the amazing offers on underwear and toys. I'm sure LH will turn around your sex life like it has for so many other couple.

    snow38 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 60
    • Joined: 29 Jan 2014

    Hi Susan,

    I myself totally understsnd your post. Back in December i suffered my 4th consecutive loss in a row. Mine always end up with having the operation to remove as my stupid body like to hold onto the pregnancy. Since the last loss mypartner and i havent been getting on too good and our sex life is out the window. Once a week and a quikkie at that, which i am finding very frustrating to say the least. After reading your post i think maybe we both need to open up with each other. We had a small break through the other morning when i burst into tears saying "why dont you ever come near me anymore" at first he said he is just tired. But then he sent a text saying its him, he has put on weight and feels uncomfortable and worried about squashing me!! To me its still an excuse and im ashamed to say since the text i havent spoke to him about it, i just simply replied "ok" ... i know all the losses have taken its toll on us both. But all i want is to go back to how it was when we first met. We have a child free weekend ( i havekids with my ex) and im determined to spice things up after getting some advice from someone on here, roll on Saturday when i can put it too the test.

    Glad you have turned a corner, it does show honesty with each other is a key to a good relationship. All the best for the future hun and hope your delivery arrives today for you.

    S xx

    SusanG [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 10
    • Joined: 30 Mar 2014

    Thank you all for the kind words and you all have my sympathies for going through things. I've just received a picture message from OH showing that the stuff had arrived!! Think he's going to be ready to explode when I get home as he cheekily asked if I could get away from work for the afternoon!!!

    capricorn13 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3307
    • Joined: 25 Aug 2013

    Hi Susan

    You and your OH have really had a tough time recently and my heart goes out to you. I hope that through continued open and honest communication you manage to work through things and come out stronger the other side.

    I hope you enjoy your purchase and find other things to try together to spice things up.

    Welcome to the forum x

    Brooke. [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 42
    • Joined: 4 Aug 2012

    Sounds like a keeper - hope you have/had a fun evening!

    KinkyFuckery [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3774
    • Joined: 10 Jul 2012

    That is wonderful how you both dealt with it all all the best and enjoy finding yourseleves together xxxxx

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