• New relationship help

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    purplerain89 [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 21 Mar 2014

    I'm nearly 25 and I have never had a relationship, this is largely due to the fact I suffed from depression when I was at university, and to "cover" my depression from everyone like my parents and course mates I used to bury myself in work, and blame my depressive symptoms on working too hard.

    Recently I met a guy, he's a really nice guy all round, however embarking on a relationship scares me. I don't like being touched in an intimate way, kissing on the cheeks, lips, and hugging is ok, but anything more scares me, also should I tell him I've never been in a relationship, and about my history of depression

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    LadyS [sign in to see picture]
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    I would definitely be upfront with him when you feel the time is right, if he is soeone you can see yourself being with for a little while, then you don't want to be tip-toing round trying to avoid both subjects.

    Do you think you will want to try more intamacy at some point in the future, even though it scares you? If so then I think you definitely need to tell him, so he understands why you need to take things slow.

    I know it might not be easy to share these things, but I don't think it would be any easier moving forward with him without him knowing, if that makes any sense.

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    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
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    LadyS wrote:

    I would definitely be upfront with him when you feel the time is right, if he is soeone you can see yourself being with for a little while, then you don't want to be tip-toing round trying to avoid both subjects.

    Do you think you will want to try more intamacy at some point in the future, even though it scares you? If so then I think you definitely need to tell him, so he understands why you need to take things slow.

    I know it might not be easy to share these things, but I don't think it would be any easier moving forward with him without him knowing, if that makes any sense.

    +1. Don't be scared as being intimate with some one you care about is wonderful.

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    nodrog [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 18 Mar 2014

    def talk to him take things slow and easy

    good luck

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    Khaleesi [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 1 Jun 2012

    It sounds like you've been through a lot so being scared is perfectly natural.

    Only share with him as much as you feel comfortable with. If you feel pressured in any way to tell him, then don’t. It should be your decision about when the right time to open up is. You don't need to tell him because you feel you have to. Share with him what feels right for you.

    You can tell him a stage at a time if that’s easier? First you could start by telling him you’ve never had a relationship before. Naturally over time he’ll probably ask why and want to take the point further, at which point you can open up a little more about suffering from depression if you feel comfortable doing so.

    If he’s as lovely as you describe, he won’t mind waiting and I’m sure he’ll be understanding. If he’s not, you deserve better.

    Starting a physical relationship slowly can also be a good thing, so don't worry about taking things slowly. It can give you time to get to know one another without physical intimacy. Take things at a pace you’re comfortable with. It’s OK to just want to hold hands. Be open about wanting to take things slow and I’m sure he’ll respect that.

    I hope this helps a bit. You can always post on here if you need any more advice! I know I’ve found it useful at times X

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