• So, how honest are you?

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    TLA [sign in to see picture]
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    Being honest about cheating is one thing and I'm sure it's already been discussed here. However, how honest are you with your partner about your other sexual acitivities: going solo, watching porn, fantasising about someone else, etc.

    I've always tried to build my relationship on mutual trust and honesty, so I tell my OH every time I've wanked or watched a movie without her (and I don't really fancy anyone else). How about you?

    1248721584
    OperationFilth [sign in to see picture]
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    My boyfriend and I are fairly open with each other but we don't need to know everything the other does imo, and thats generally the way it works - will sometimes tell him if i've masturbated, but come to think it rarely discuss porn except for me to slag off his choices (in a loving way, of course :P) hehe...

    Cant say i do fantasise about anyone else tbh - as soppy as some may think that sounds...

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    PPB [sign in to see picture]
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    Im honest in a relationship, I dont lie about anything i dont see the point really!

    PPB

    x

    1248723504

    [suspended user]

    suspended user
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    Yup full honesty if it's asked, generally offered before it's asked too!

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    Morbidia [sign in to see picture]
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    Yeah, im fully honest aswell.

    With my ex, i was lying to both myself and to him about goings on with people in the ways of cyber/text sex etc., but with my OH now, i dont want to, and i honestly cannot bring myself to lie to him about anything, and i'm the same as you TLA, i dont fancy anyone besides my OH aswell really, but he doesnt really believe me when i say that

    x x x

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    tallboy247 [sign in to see picture]
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    Morbidia wrote:

    Yeah, im fully honest aswell.

    With my ex, i was lying to both myself and to him about goings on with people in the ways of cyber/text sex etc., but with my OH now, i dont want to, and i honestly cannot bring myself to lie to him about anything, and i'm the same as you TLA, i dont fancy anyone besides my OH aswell really, but he doesnt really believe me when i say that

    x x x

    Ah the penny drops then Morbidia, thanks.

    TB

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Did anyone else find it strange when they were told (through various outlets) that it's normal to fantasize about other people when in a relationship. I never really did or have.. apparently thats not 'normal'... yet most of youse have said the same thing! I am prone to the odd famous visitor slipping by however, while in an intimate mental moment with my lady, even then though they end up with the VAP (value added pleasure) as opposed to the real enjoyment.

    Anyone think I can convince 'The Tweedy' to suck my balls while I'm getting head? Maybe not....

    Personally (rightly or wrongly) I see it as a measure of the satisfaction your partner gives you. I don't really need an intruder in my fantasises (I'm pretty sure if my girl could suck both balls and cock The Tweedy or whoever would be made redundant for just me). If I get all that I want from my partner then I don't need to even consider others. Also knowing my girl would enjoy the help offered by another lady (at least in her head) turns me on, knowing she is turned on, so maybe the visitors are not even really for me, or exclusively for me.

    This brings me to the point that being satisfied in bed means I'm honest by default. If we're both happy I have no need to be dishonest, seeing as neither of us have any really strong fetishes (although I do rather enjoy facesitting) and are very sexually compatiable we're honest to each other as we are almost always satisfied.

    Would I be as honest if we were not? I honestly don't know. If I knew I would upset my partner a lot by expressing something I wanted she would not give, I wouldn't want her to feel bad about it, so possibly would'nt tell her... but maybe I'd resent that a little... hmmm... Too much thought for such a simple question!

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    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
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    i am honest with partners/potential parnters

    but f you are in an established relationship i dont think you need to tell your OH everytime you masturbate, just that they know you do

    1248747589
    Morbidia [sign in to see picture]
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    WandA wrote:

    Did anyone else find it strange when they were told (through various outlets) that it's normal to fantasize about other people when in a relationship. I never really did or have.. apparently thats not 'normal'... yet most of youse have said the same thing!

    Yeah, i thought it was a tad strange, cause when im with my OH, or even when im alone, i always think of him, as he's all i want to think about, lol x x x

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    Salvadore [sign in to see picture]
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    I never tell.. don't see the need to... and I hardly ever fantasize about my girlfriends...

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    Lubyanka [sign in to see picture]
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    I take extra special care to be scrupulously honest about everything with everybody all the time. I want people to feel absolutely certain that they can rely on everything I say without exception. I know that if somebody lies or misleads me about one thing, I will feel unsure about anything else they say, so that's why I always take special care with this.

    If telling the truth will put myself or somebody else at increased risk of harm, that is the only time I will ever omit, prevaricate or lie.

    I think most people lie when they're embarrassed or afraid. I think that lies told because of embarrassment are usually the most pointless lies I come across.

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    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
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    I tend to be honest to a fault... sometimes telling partners things they may not want to hear! But I'm not ashamed or embarrassed of any aspect of my sexuality or sexual past, and I'm firmly of the opinion that anyone who would judge me for it is not the kind of person I'd want to be with. I'm hugely open-minded and non-judgemental and I need a partner with the same attitude and outlook.

    As for fantasising about others - never when I'm having sex with a partner, but when I'm on my own, yes I do. I think it's completely harmless, and nobody's business really - what goes on inside my head is my business and my business alone. It's not hurting anyone, it's the same as porn imo.

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    BoyNextDoor [sign in to see picture]
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    With my last relationship I probably wasn't as honest as I should have been, not in a cheating kind of way, but just held back with some of my idea's because I knew that she'd never accept them and would think i'm rather strange!!

    But with the relationship I'm in now, everything is totally open and honest, and I have to say its the best thing ever! Being able to just say anything and everything without the worry that I'll be judged or anything!

    Sex wise, or any other way, things are completely open, and thats the best way to be I feel! :-)

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    sweevo [sign in to see picture]
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    We have an open relationship, which only works on trust, respect and honesty.

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    diamonds [sign in to see picture]
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    im completly honest with my partner but we dont tell each other every time eaither of us looks at porn or wanks, if the other asks then we answear but i dont see the need to tell each other every single thing, if it comes up then sure thats fine and asnwear it. :-)

    though sometimes i would really love my bloke to send me a txt just before or while his wanking to let me know, but thats just purely for my pervy thoughts :P lol

    Dxx

    1248793615
    mybadx [sign in to see picture]
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    I dont tell the OH everytime i masterbate like he dosent tell me. But if i want to get him going il tell him that i did, and how i did it etc. and yes i do think of him, i dont think of anyone else but him. And if he thinks of anyone else then he can keep that thoughts in his head as i really wouldnt want to know. But we are both open and honest with each other about our needs and wants in every aspect of the relationship. I feel with him that i can exprese my opinions without being judge and it wont lead to WW3 happening.

    xx

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Wow..Imagine that, World War 3 starting over a wank.

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    mybadx [sign in to see picture]
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    Yeah that would be amusing. My x seemed what threated by my toys. But yet again i needed them as our sex life was non existant.

    xx

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    Aurora [sign in to see picture]
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    Wouldn't tell my DH everytime I masturbate and he wouldn't tell me, but as he wanks about 3 times a day so it would get boring . Though if one of us has an assignation or an online flirtation then we do talk to each other about it. Quite often in bed and it usually leads to some very hot sex

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    Ecksvie [sign in to see picture]
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    My boyfriend is polyamorous, meaning that he believes he should be able to have more than one partner. I dont really like it, but I knew that before we got together so I cant really complain now (although he said if it became a serious issue for me he'd stop. I'm his only girlfriend at the moment and we have alot of back history; he considers me the first girlfriend he's had he's actually in love with). Although I'm not polyamorous, he wouldnt mind if I was, else he'd be a bit of a hypocrite. I often tell my boyfriend about when I vibe myself, although not every time. Not as a matter of honesty, I'm just rather open like that and tell him about it by text when I'm bored if there was anything notable about it. I actually asked him last night if he minded me vibrating myself when he's not here since I originally bought my first vibe for us to use together. He said if he doesnt mind if I have sex with other guys, me pleasuring myself with a piece of plastic isnt a problem! I only asked him about this last night, even though I've been telling him about my vibrator antics for a while now. I'm a pretty good judge of him though. The fact I never had any second thoughts about telling him must have meant something, and I turned out to be right.

    My boyfriend never tells me if he masturbates or anything. He's the quiet type, he tends not tell me much unless I ask. I'm not bothered though. I could hardly use my vibrators and then complain if he masturbates or does whatever. Him being polyamorist, it takes a huge amount of communication and trust, and he's promised to tell me if there are any other partners in his life, but him self pleasuring doesnt bother me at all, whether he tells me or not. Sometimes I actually picture him locked away in his room jacking off, being all on his own and having an orgasm. It's actually quite an arousing thought! He doesnt tell me, but nor do I expect him to. I dont think it makes any difference, and someone expecting their partner to tell them everything sexual they did without them (short of with other people) shows some real insecurities.

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