• Sleep Sex? (Sexsomnia)

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    Briohne [sign in to see picture]
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    My OH told me at the start of our relationship that he has Sexsomnia. I didn't really think twice about it and passed it as some kind of joke.

    As he got more comfortable around me (around the 6th month of our relationship) , in the middle of the night or early hours in the morning he woke me up with foreplay. Each time I would recall it in the morning but he has no recollection of it. I found it a bit strange but I just thought he had to be awake and he was still joking.

    Last month , while we was away on holiday, he woke me up in the middle of the night by kissing me and we had really good sex. It wasn't how we normally had sex though but I loved it. Again, he couldn't remember and I just found this so strange...mostly because the sex was just amazing.

    Last night, he did exactly the same he did on holiday, woke me up by kissing, the same amazing sex as it was on holiday. I tried to talk to him but he wasn't responding....so I just fell asleep, and again consulted him and he dosen't remember a thing again.

    So, I thought I'd search it up and it turned out to be Sexsomnia. I still find it hard to believe as there isn't much information on the internet about it. Has anyone else been through this?

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    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    It is a very real thing! I don't know too much about it, but I remember watching a program about it where a guy had fallen asleep at a party with lots of other people and he got arrested for rape after having an episode of sexomnia. As far as I know, sexomnia is a form of sleep walking and just like sleep walking, the person does not remember their antics the next day. Unfortunately, much like sleep walking, the person who suffers from sexomnia has no sense of danger, right or wrong (They are not aware) and they can act completely out of character. I seem to remember someone saying a while ago that her partner suffered with it and when she tried to stop him, he could begin to get quite forceful and agressive about it, which was out of character for him.

    I am unsure if there is a treatment for sexomnia. I think there might be something the doctor can give to stop his brain going into this sleep acting mode, but I am so not sure. I think you should speak to a doctor, who may refer your guy to a sleep expert.

    Lots of people think sexomnia is a joke and some couples happily live with it and are fine, but I have also heard of couples where it has become a problem and even scary. I would personally recommend he went to the doctor to see if there is any help. Even if this is fun for you and him right now, it could be an issue later. What happens if he falls asleep at a party, or you have a friend over to stay and it happens to him then? What happens if he gets uncharacteristically aggressive? It isnt his fault, he does not even know he is doing it, but I imagine he would want to avoid that possibility of hurting you or another in the future.

    As I said though, I have little experience on this subject, other than what I saw on TV now and then on the subject and also hearing from one or two people who have experienced it. My advice may be entirely wrong but I definitely suggest doing more research. Good luck xx

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    flaneur [sign in to see picture]
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    I've heard of it and examples include pretty much what's already been mentioned. A cure for sleepwalking would probably be a cure for sexsomnia. That said I haven't heard of a standard cure for either and for cases like the midnight rape one they're quite scary. People like yourself have said that they get brilliant sex from a sexsomniac and don't do anything about it. I'd decide for myself how much of a concern it is to you, I don't know how uncontrollable he is and it's a shame he can't remember great sex.

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    goblingirl1980 [sign in to see picture]
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    Both myself and my partner are guilty of getting very aroused when dreaming and have found ourselves molesting the other. This hasn't led to full sex, more a reenactment of parts of our dreamy arousal. So far it hasn't caused a problem but I know for some it can be very frightening and dangerous.

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    goblingirl1980 [sign in to see picture]
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    Both myself and my partner are guilty of getting very aroused when dreaming and have found ourselves molesting the other. This hasn't led to full sex, more a reenactment of parts of our dreamy arousal. So far it hasn't caused a problem but I know for some it can be very frightening and dangerous.

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    naughtywildfun90 [sign in to see picture]
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    My OH has it, it never bothers me and I actually giggle at the look on his face on a morning when I inform him of his activities.

    As with you the sex he initiates while asleep isn't our usual style but I do really enjoy it.

    As he knows I quite enjoy it we haven't looked at any kind of treatment or anything to make him stop, we just enjoy the spontaneous session's ;-) xx

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    Tromain [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm afraid I am a fellow sexsomniac! There have been -many- times over the last 9 years of my marriage that I wake up to my wife saying things like "What got into YOU last night?!?" and "Last night was amazing, where did you learn to do that?" To start with I just shrugged it off as her having some realistic naughty dreams until one day I asked her what she was going on about and she told me about it.

    Having never slept in a bed over night with anyone except my OH it never showed up before, but she loves the sex(partly because she loves being woken up in the middle of the night for a good romp) so I'm not bothered about finding a cure! I just wish I could bloody remember it! lol.

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    Briohne [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks everyone! Its comforting knowing that other people do go through this as well :) Luckly my boyfriend never sleeps anywhere else and always sleeps with me so I do not feel threatned in that sense. He hasnt done it since that night and it dosent seem dangerous at all so me and my boyfriend dont feel the need to go to the doctors until it comes too frequent or does become violent...I really do enjoy it so im gonna enjoy it while it lasts haha :)

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    Thetwister [sign in to see picture]
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    This is surprisingly a very common thing that happens in someone's life. It can happen at anytime, it's very much like sleep walking except for the obvious. While doing the deed its like your in a dream state between sleep and wake.

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    Tromain [sign in to see picture]
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    The only problem we have run into with this is there has been one or two occasions where I went for a backdoor entry, not surprising as I love anal, my OH on the other hand has tried it a few times and doesn't enjoy it so that is an offlimits activity. Lucky for me she is a light sleeper and wakes up before I unintentionaly hurt her in my sleep.

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    Briohne [sign in to see picture]
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    Tromain wrote:

    The only problem we have run into with this is there has been one or two occasions where I went for a backdoor entry, not surprising as I love anal, my OH on the other hand has tried it a few times and doesn't enjoy it so that is an offlimits activity. Lucky for me she is a light sleeper and wakes up before I unintentionaly hurt her in my sleep.

    Thetwister wrote:

    This is surprisingly a very common thing that happens in someone's life. It can happen at anytime, it's very much like sleep walking except for the obvious. While doing the deed its like your in a dream state between sleep and wake.

    Thetwister yeah I have heard of that. Stills seems so strange though. Mostly because it is so enjoyable haha.

    Tromain my OH hasn't done that yet but I am a light sleeper as well so I should be fine :).

    Does anybody know what causes Sexsomnia? Stress? Not enough sleep? Dirty dreams?

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    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    I dont know if this is FACT, because its a vague memory, but I seem to recall the cause of sleep walking and sexonmia is to do with something like this:

    When we fall asleep, there is a certain part of our brain that activates, or turns off (One or the other) that is specifically designed to stop us acting out our dreams. It paralizes the body during the dream period. People with sleep walking issues and sexomnia issues simply have this part of the brain not doing as it should and not paralysing the person (Which is normal) and so they can act out their dreams....which is not always safe.

    I actually only know about this because I have my own sleep problem, with the same part of the brain. I have sleep paralysis episodes. The difference between your bloke and me is that the opposite things are happening....his is not turning off, so he can act out his dreams, whereas mine turns on too soon, before I am fully into deep sleep and I am in a state of semi wakefulness but unable to move...at all. Because I am still somewhat dreaming, I have dreams. Sleep paralysis dreams are scary! You feel awake, you believe you are awake, but you cannot move a muscle and then suddenly the "dream" turns bad...like someone is sneaking up behind me to kill me. Wiki explains it better:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexomnia

    Anyway, to sum up, neither condition is dangerous. There is probably nothing wrong with his brain and nothing needs fixed. He is perfectly healthy, but its just a thing some of us get and it can be caused by stress and anxiety yeah, but mostly its just a thing some people have.

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    Briohne [sign in to see picture]
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    Fluffbags wrote:

    I dont know if this is FACT, because its a vague memory, but I seem to recall the cause of sleep walking and sexonmia is to do with something like this:

    When we fall asleep, there is a certain part of our brain that activates, or turns off (One or the other) that is specifically designed to stop us acting out our dreams. It paralizes the body during the dream period. People with sleep walking issues and sexomnia issues simply have this part of the brain not doing as it should and not paralysing the person (Which is normal) and so they can act out their dreams....which is not always safe.

    I actually only know about this because I have my own sleep problem, with the same part of the brain. I have sleep paralysis episodes. The difference between your bloke and me is that the opposite things are happening....his is not turning off, so he can act out his dreams, whereas mine turns on too soon, before I am fully into deep sleep and I am in a state of semi wakefulness but unable to move...at all. Because I am still somewhat dreaming, I have dreams. Sleep paralysis dreams are scary! You feel awake, you believe you are awake, but you cannot move a muscle and then suddenly the "dream" turns bad...like someone is sneaking up behind me to kill me. Wiki explains it better:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexomnia

    Anyway, to sum up, neither condition is dangerous. There is probably nothing wrong with his brain and nothing needs fixed. He is perfectly healthy, but its just a thing some of us get and it can be caused by stress and anxiety yeah, but mostly its just a thing some people have.

    Thank you for this information Fluffbags. Its very interesting and helpful. I feel sorry for you because yours does sound pretty scary!

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    northern boy [sign in to see picture]
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    Fluffbags i have exactly the same as you and i start fighting the paralasys and then end up shouting really loud.

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    naughtywildfun90 [sign in to see picture]
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    I've had the feel of a really real dream but not been able to do anything. Only happened a fewtimes though. I only rremember them because I woke up screaming but no noise was coming out, I'd be sat up noiselessly screaming or a couple of minutes before I would realise I was safe and now fully awake xx

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    Cowboy81 [sign in to see picture]
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    MRS will initate foreplay in her sleep but does get woken up to the fullfillment. She does not sleep through the act but is not aware she is starting things. For years she thought I woke up from dreaming about her and started it. She does also sleep walk occasionally; but can be woken from it, so it is mild.

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    Briohne [sign in to see picture]
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    Cowboy81 wrote:

    MRS will initate foreplay in her sleep but does get woken up to the fullfillment. She does not sleep through the act but is not aware she is starting things. For years she thought I woke up from dreaming about her and started it. She does also sleep walk occasionally; but can be woken from it, so it is mild.

    naughtywildfun90 wrote:

    I've had the feel of a really real dream but not been able to do anything. Only happened a fewtimes though. I only rremember them because I woke up screaming but no noise was coming out, I'd be sat up noiselessly screaming or a couple of minutes before I would realise I was safe and now fully awake xx

    Cowboy81 Glad to hear its only mild and not anything that can be dangerous but it may progress like mine did so always good to keep a close eye on it.

    Naughtywildfun90 Bless you. Must feel like being in a horror movie at the time.xx

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