• Boyfriend can't cum

    1393720591
    Haily-M+ [sign in to see picture]
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    I honestly don't know what to do anymore. It's been over two weeks, we're very active in the bedroom. Between my pleasuring him, him pleasuring himself and the almost hour long sex each time, he still can't cum

    We don't know what to do. Are there any positions you may reccomend or male sensitive spots that would make him cum almost instantly?

    1393725522
    dkink [sign in to see picture]
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    Is he under stress in any way.

    Unless it is a physical problem with his reproductive organs, stress would be my first call. Some of us guys stress out over sexual performance which can become cyclical to the point where they just cant reach orgasm.

    Has he been ill lately? a cold or flu bug can really mess us all up.

    One way to find out would be to leave him home alone with some porn and a box of tissues. If he then manages to bring himself off, i'd say it was performance stress. In which case lots of love and reassurance outside of the bedroom might well sort this issue. It will take time and patience however.

    Good luck

    1393752127
    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
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    dkink wrote:

    Is he under stress in any way.

    Unless it is a physical problem with his reproductive organs, stress would be my first call. Some of us guys stress out over sexual performance which can become cyclical to the point where they just cant reach orgasm.

    Has he been ill lately? a cold or flu bug can really mess us all up.

    One way to find out would be to leave him home alone with some porn and a box of tissues. If he then manages to bring himself off, i'd say it was performance stress. In which case lots of love and reassurance outside of the bedroom might well sort this issue. It will take time and patience however.

    Good luck

    Agreed. How are his erections if they are good then I think there maybe more going on . Is he on meds,? Does he suffer with depression? Also age, smoking and alcohol. None of that I know of on here are Qualified Doctors, but we can give advice. Keep talking to him, try to keep the stress around the situation down, but it maybe time to drag him off to the Doctor. One last thought Hydration ,does he drink enough water and not to much diuretics, coffee, tea and some squashes.

    1393753432
    MrsMcX [sign in to see picture]
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    I know there's several 'release' products on the website that may be a help to you, but I don't know much about them. Maybe have a look and read some reviews and see if you think it could help? Or maybe one of these helpful men can suggest something.

    Good luck :)

    1393797981
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    I would recommend one very large male spot (females have it too) that needs to be focused on....his mind!

    Often, issues like PE, ED and the problem you describe can be psychological in nature, rather than a physical issue. (If you suspect a physical issue, I recommend a trip to the doctor) but as often happens with males and females alike, if we have an experience that knocks our confidence, shakes us up, worries us or scares us...for example we did not orgasm, or we orgamsed too soon, or we didnt get an erection....if something like this happens, it becomes a big deal and a focal point in that persons mind the next time they are in a sexual situation.

    Assuming your guy has been able to orgasm easily and normally before, I can only assume something physical is the problem (doctor) or it is this psychological issue plaguing his mind. It is also known as performance anxiety and is really common and most of us experience short bouts of this at some stage after some "bad" experience where we felt like a failure. It sticks in the mind and BAM...there is is repeating itself next time because instead of focusing on the moment, we have a constant loop in our minds saying "What if it happens again, what if it happens again" and it does happen again because we are not relaxed or "in the moment"

    I recommend doing something really radical....FORGET about his orgasm. Write it off. Tell him sex is about just enjoying the sensations together. Take it slow and instead of focusing on the destination (orgasm) focus on the journey. Make the journey the fun part.

    It will be difficult at first but he needs to stop focusing on his orgasm and forget about it and take pleasure in the journey. This subtle change in mindset removes pressure and stops the focus being on orgasm, which maddeningly just pushes orgasm further away.

    Ask him to pleasure himself alone, when you are out. Alone and without any pressure, he will get a better idea if his problem is about pressure or if he is just one of those people who genuinely takes a long time (Some guys do take 30 mins, 45 mins or an hour or more) If this is a new thing though, I suspect that is not it.

    Hope this helps x

    1393798482
    dkink [sign in to see picture]
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    Good advice! the only thing i'd add is medication, even a cold med can really mess us up as i found out yesterday. Good luck.

    1393798628
    Henry 1978 [sign in to see picture]
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    Legendary advice from Fluffbags, spot on.

    1393798986
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    Medication is a big one yeah! I struggled to orgasm for a year and discovered after I changed my pain killers it came back like THAT! Same happened to be when given anti depressents a few years ago, again to help with a pain condition but wow...talk about numb! If he has recently changed or been prescribed medication, I recommend checking out side effects and finding out if that is the issue and speaking to the doctor again.

    Stress, exhaustion and depression can have huge changes on your sex life too!

    1393799582
    dkink [sign in to see picture]
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    Yup, stress and depression made a mess of me a few years ago, much better now though.

    Hope you are well Fluffbags.

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