• How often do you have sex?

    goblingirl1980 [sign in to see picture]
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    When I was married it was once a month if I was lucky. Now with my new partner it's about5 times a week in between him working long hours, daughter in the house etc. Sometimes it's more if we have a day off together and the house to ourselves, then it can be 2-3 times that day. We've been together 6 months now.

    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
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    Been married for 25yrs together for 28yrs. Still 2/3 times a week unless I am being edged. I am a very very lucky guy. With the help of LV and all the great people on these forums still trying new things.

    northern boy [sign in to see picture]
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    It differs because me and my partner dont live together, if i see her 3 nights a week,then its 3 times.if isee her for a week then its 7 or more times.It never gets boring just dirtier Luv It

    tortoise [sign in to see picture]
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    We've been married 42 years, we're both in our mid 60s and we still have sex twice a week. Can't beat it for staying feeling young!

    S&S [sign in to see picture]
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    Right now, we're going at 3 times a week. It can sometime be lower if we're having a particularly busy couple of weeks, but we make up for it! We both think that this is a pretty much perfect amount.

    KateL [sign in to see picture]
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    I think I need to show my OH this thread........

    MrsMcX [sign in to see picture]
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    You have to remember that this is a forum for 'sexual happiness', a lot of people on here, including myself have a healthy sex like thanks to lovehoney. If I'd never found lovehoney, I would probably still be prudish about sex, and not have it that often! Lovehoney has made me more confident in the bedroom, and more open and discussive with my husband about our sex life, and I think the majority of people on here can say the same thing, and do have healthy sex lives because of it. I bet there's a million other 'former-me's' in the woodwork, who haven't found lovehoney yet, or who are prudish, and their answers would be totally different. In fact, everyone is different, just because some people have sex a lot doesn't mean that everyone on the planet has to as well. Also, it's not necessary the amount of times you have sex, it's also the quality, the communication between two lovers so they know each other's bodies so well they know exactly what they like. I would have one day a month of that, over having rubbish sex every day.

    jackjohn [sign in to see picture]
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    every day if you include doing it alone haha.

    i also lick my beautiful wife every day cos she asks and i can't refuse her can i?.

    i agree - quality takes over from quantity in time - it comes with getting to know each other.

    penetration, 69, anal, rimming, toying each other - probably one session of one or more of these once a week on average these days, but we ain't as young as we used to be - both in our 50's. this varies a lot - we can go at it several days in a row, or simply be happy with cuddles for a few weeks.

    there are more opportunities now the kids are older. youngest leaving home soon. bring it on...

    Ikey [sign in to see picture]
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    I've been with my girlfriend for two years and we have sex about two to three times a day when we're together. (Sometimes more)

    Although since she's starting a new full time job soon, I have a feeling we wont see each other anywhere near as much, so we'll probably end up doing it alot more when we are together. :P

    LadyS [sign in to see picture]
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    KateL wrote:

    I think I need to show my OH this thread........

    I think if you're not happy with any aspect of your sex life you should definitely speak up. I have been too reserved in that department for most of our relationship, but now I am more confident and ready to get what I want things are much better.

    I haven't been on this forum long and have only just started buying from Lovehoney. It has also only been the last few months that our sex life has had a bit of a revival. We have both discovered things we didn't know we liked and doing them has made us want to explore more things, so this has led to more sex, and doing more has made us want it more I think.

    Hope you get things the ay you would like them to be x

    blonde vixen13 [sign in to see picture]
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    God we used to be an every day couple but since the kids it's been 3-4 times a weeks. However hubby has been traveling a lot the past few weeks so it's hardly been happening. He's going to America next week too. I'm so frustrated . Definitely not getting enough

    ShannonMarlene [sign in to see picture]
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    Went from every day to once a month then once I discovered LH, it went to every second day!
    Unfortunately, since coming off my contraceptive needle at the end of January, my hormones have been all out of whack. Hopefully it sorta itself soon.

    Morthius [sign in to see picture]
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    I would say 1 time/week on average. Been a bit more lately but since we have a 2 year old at home there can be periouds of long term sickness from 1 or the other and then it is less and so on. However, it is kind of hard to find a good time for it since we like to take our time. 2 hours is around the average time for a "sex session" and this makes it impossible while our 2 year old is awake.

    xiaojezebel [sign in to see picture]
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    We used to be like rabbits but these days it's gone down. We usually have sex at least once a week but I'd be happy with a few times a day! :)

    My partner has been struggling with health problems though so it's always a blessing when we have sex at all.

    AK1970 [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 30 Nov 2013

    Sadly, just a couple of times a year these days. That's partly due to my wife's eczema, to be fair. Even just 10 minutes skin-on-skin contact can aggravate it for a week. However, it's largely been under control in recent years. But it's still used as an excuse not to 'play'. Which means that I do miss sex awfully yet am too considerate to ensure that my 'needs ' are met.

    If I do ask - in a non-pestering and not in an insensitive look-I've-done-the-chores-so-how-about-a-reward sort of way, I must stress - I either get the 'we're-too-old-for-that-sort-of-thing' lecture or a vague agreement to have an early night at some point which then never happens.

    She says that she just doesn't feel the need and that no amount of talking about it - which we have done and she appreciates that I feel neglected - will get her in the mood. When she's ready, she's ready. And that's fine. It wouldn't feel right insisting.

    Yet I'm only 43 and a few minutes' missionary-only intercourse a year over the last 10 years leaves me somewhat frustrated. And guilty for being frustrated.

    And so to Lovehoney. Initially I came looking for something that wouldn't aggravate her eczema but which might give her enough pleasure to appreciate reciprocating. A somewhat simplistic and selfish view, I know, so I'm now only looking for me. I bought an aneros prostate massager but can only use it when she's out of the house as her views on the big Ann Summers shop in town make it abundantly clear on the matter of toys and masturbation (handjobs are reluctantly administered and oral is a definite no-no).

    I've considered showing her the lovely and very helpful LH forum - which I've been reading for a couple of years but never had the nerve to post on until now - but I know from the work she's done with a certain female-orientated youth organisation I can't name here what the reaction would be with regards to my use of the Internet.

    I think having been a very late starter with regards to sex means I am coping with the current drought and - despite what I've posted here - I'm a long way off resenting the situation. That means our relationship is still strong and we both still are very much in love.

    As others have pointed out, frequency of sex varies hugely from one couple to another and for many different reasons. I'd love for the frequency and variation to pick up and although I am going to some lengths to alleviate my frustration, I'm not letting it dictate how I relate to my wife.

    Herendeth the essay.

    Stix [sign in to see picture]
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    Sometimes our sex life goes down from 3/4 times a week to once a fortnight/ once a month, never good, we lose some affection as i'm not a kissey kissey type of guy and she is: Miss-loves-a-hug, the last month its been once daily (at least) and tbh thats because weve been clicking away on lovehoney YAY toys, its not good to force yourselves I dont think, but definatly acceptable to look for every excuse.......Train was 15 minuets early? Quick let's celebrate, to the bedroom!

    Stix [sign in to see picture]
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    AK 1970,

    Nice to see a proper post,

    Fair play for being so open thats what this place is for,

    I hope I dont sound patronising by saying this, (never a good way to start to a convosation is it, lol) as I'm sure you are some what a little more experienced than myself and know your wife better than any one, but having been through something similar to your wife myself in the past, in the sense my body was off limits to other people, as i used to be extremely over weight, i thought I might chime in.

    At that time in my life I used to get very upset if I saw sex on T.V. or walked past a sex shop because it felt everybody had more confidence and an easier time of it than me and it used to really frustrate me, the truth is that grumpy attitude I had was just me being upset that I didn't feel I could comfortably express myself and although, at the time, may not off wanted to to that extent I still felt a bit like a jelous child in the window of a sweetshop.

    Through that time in my life my partner was there just being her, making the occasional saucy remark and giving me a little confidence boost every day, even if I didn't let it show, and through all the frustration and frowning that meant alot to me and always made me question myself a little because the biggest source of my frustration was that my low self confidence was pushing her away.

    I think it's good your on here looking for something for yourself and maybe something for her, but i think if your there for her to make the occasional saucy remark or the fancy getting lucky tonight line even it's met with a frown that its worth more than she's letting on.

    Hope that helps in some small way, i'm sure your loved very much and i don't think you should stop trying to involve her in anything you do.

    ShannonMarlene [sign in to see picture]
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    I do feel you here. I have very, very severe eczema and I'm constantly a mess 'down there' so sex hurts a lot.
    To compensate, I often give my OH some play just for him and sometimes, he uses toys on me to try loosen me up a bit.
    Of course, my OH also gets frustrated at times and you shouldn't feel bad about it. Regardless of it's importance, sex is still a part of a healthy relationship and it helps to bond you and release any stress or tension.
    You really need to sit down and have a big conversation about this. See whether she has any other issues with sex and let her know how you feel.

    kinkyqueen [sign in to see picture]
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    AK1970, I have been married for nearly 40 years and like most couples we have had our stresses and strains which have resulted in periods of drought. However I do feel that you can simply get out of the habit. I have found the more we indulge the more my libido increases.

    Lovehoney forums have really opened my eyes, it's a pity your wife wouldn't be interested in taking a look, it's done wonders for me. I've gone from a very reserved vanilla outlook, to enjoying all kinds of naughtyness!

    I think you're right I think there is more to this than her skin problem. Talk,talk and more talk - but choose the right times to approach her.

    As for the original thread, all relationships, married or not, will invariably have periods of plenty and the reverse. After all these years we are currently on a high, nearly every day, sometimes all day on and off, when we get chance! So no I don't think getting married automatically means you will have less sex.

    Trouble Loves Me [sign in to see picture]
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    We're long distance atm, so we see each other maybe 2 - 3 times a week, and have sex probably about 3 times a day. When we were living near each other we were seeing each other every day and having sex 2 - 3 times a day and it was WONDERFUL.

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