• Advice needed

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    sexybum0317 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi guys,

    Really need to go through this with some others to get some opinions.

    It's been awhile since and my OH had sex as we both live with our parents and work hours mean that sometimes we struggle to see each other.

    We went out for tee tonight and he asked, given that i am on A/L next week, if we could have sex at some point. Of course i said yes as i was starting to get a bit frustrated anyway.

    But he resquested i: 1 - shave myself, 2- wear sexy underwear, 3- and go on top and go 'like fuck'.

    The shaving and the underwear doesn't bother me as that is a semi regular thing anyway. What did bother me was the idea of me being on top and the 'go like fuck' request.

    It might just be me but i don't think, unless it's a quickie, that you should 'go like fuck' during sex. I'm starting to think that he seen so much porn that he doesn't really know what sex should be.

    Another issue is that he's about 300 lbs so very obese and even if i wanted to 'go like fuck' i can't because his belly gets in the way and his thighs are so big that i struggle to get my knees into the bed enough to get enough stability to go fast.

    I want to please him and do what he wants but i really don't think it is a physical possibility for us.

    Advice would be great Thanks.

    1392508032
    Just Jenson [sign in to see picture]
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    if it's physically impossible to do so then you just got to tell him straight... or at the very least, try it out and see if it works or not.

    the whole 'go like fuck' routine - I wouldnt worry too much about it as everyone likes a little role playing of some sort at times... endulge his fantasy and watch it pay ou dividends!

    Obviously f it is always like that and no appreciation for you then question the relationship...

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    Sum Sub [sign in to see picture]
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    I would interpret the go like f*ck part as a request for you to be in control, but maybe that's just me.

    Maybe you should tease him, play with his mind about going like f*ck, make him believe you;re not going to, until he's nearly there and do it whilst he's oragsming.

    Could you try squatting instead of cowgirl (i realise that would require strong glutes/thighs of your own) or would reverse cowgirl work better if his stomach is a problem?

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    sexybum0317 [sign in to see picture]
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    Sum Sub wrote:

    I would interpret the go like f*ck part as a request for you to be in control, but maybe that's just me.

    Well i would love to think it meant that but seen as he did an action with the words of very fast thrusting i am pretty sure it means he wants fast.

    I am fully intending on trying to do it. But in the past when we've been doing girl on top, it's almost like he gets sick of it cos i can't go fast and he ends up saying 'oh get on your knees' and we finish in doggy.

    This frustrates me as i love him the way he is and don't want to say to him it's because he's too overweight. But also it sometimes makes me feel like i'm crap cos i can't do what he wants to do. This position has never been a problem with previous smaller partners. We struggle sometimes in other positions too with his weight.

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    Sum Sub [sign in to see picture]
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    pillow under his bum, one to raise his pelvis more than his stomach, and two for you to rest your knees on, so you sit higher than normal?

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    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Sexy bum, take the positives you are both communicating. He's telling you he wants you and he finds you sexy. Porns not unhealthy so long as it's you he wants. As Subby said try raising his hips with a pillow under his bum all so try reverse cowgirl so you are facing away. This way you should be able to get more of him in without his tummy getting in the way so much and it is good position to go fast up and down. There many good things about your situation. He's talkin to you he wants you and he's trying something different. Asking your partner to go like hell isn't wrong it's good. Feed his imagination. Talk to him and say if you were able to loose a little weight imagine some of the other things I could do for you in the bedroom. Sex is a great motivator. Offer him something for the lose of 6lbs . Steel him you will really make it worth it.

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    McGlovin [sign in to see picture]
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    I would replace the fast pace for something you are comfortable with. Would you strip and play with yourself infront of him or something naughty that he would love to see that you are comfortable with. There's no way you should be thrashing about on him if you don't want to. I think it would work for me if I wasn't getting something I wanted but she found something else I'd soon forget about my initial desire.

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    chunkyg [sign in to see picture]
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    Once you are on top you have control to do it at whatever pace you want. Use that to tease him. I suspect it could be that he is fearful of coming to soon so wants to protect his confidence. Utimately its good that you are talking, good that he is telling you what he wants but needs to go further so he realises this is about your needs as well as his :-)

    Good luck

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    rose hip [sign in to see picture]
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    sexybum0317 wrote:

    Really need to go through this with some others to get some opinions.

    It's been awhile since and my OH had sex...

    It might just be me but i don't think, unless it's a quickie, that you should 'go like fuck' during sex.

    That sort of thing would be something I'd do (or try to do) entirely for the man I was with. Even if I was fine physically and could manage it without pain, I wouldn't get from it what I need sexually (closeness, intimacy and some really intense orgasms). If those needs were being reasonably well met, that would be fine. But if it had been some time since, then the sort of sex you're describing wouldn't leave me feeling like I'd been intimate. I would have given my guy something he wanted, which is good, but I would still be wanting myself. It would leave me both aroused and frustrated. More than that, it would be very hard for me to not feel distant from my lover and withdraw. Only one of the men I've been with was ever inclined to pull me close after something like that, hold me tight and give me the physical, emotional and verbal closeness I'd need.

    Don't know if any of that is relevant for you, but figured it would be worth throwing out here just in case something in it helps you or (another reader) sort out some of your feelings. It might be about more than which position.

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    McGlovin [sign in to see picture]
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    I think rose hip makes a good point

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    Trouble Loves Me [sign in to see picture]
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    If you're uncomfortable, you need to have that conversation with him. If you don't feel like you're getting what you need from sex, then talk to him: he's obviously comfortable talking about what he likes, so that is a perfect opportunity for you to make some requests, too.

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