• My sex drive is non existent...

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    SecretLoverShy [sign in to see picture]
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    My sex drive has been non existent for about 4 years. I'm not sure where it's gone!

    I came off all medication including the pill to try and eradicate the problem, but 3years later and I'm still in the same boat.

    I thought if try and make an effort for 'valentines day' because my partner has a sex drive thats fairly high and he never gets any. I started reading reviews on the items on this site (found yesterday) and bomb...I have a sex drive!

    Any tips on keeping my sex drove alive? Poor fiance has had to go without for about 3years - it's been a once in a blue moon occurrence:/

    1392201562
    Laveila [sign in to see picture]
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    Hello,

    I think there are few things you can try. For me my sex drive goes when stressed. I try to include some erotic books reading into my time, which makes me slightly aroused and more in the mood. There are lot of good books on this site, or you can find some stories writen by member forums in the erotic fiction section. Some are really good.

    But then I am single so I cannot do the next thing I would advise. Have you consider sending slightly teasing, erotic messages with your partner? Either via phone or via email, skype etc, when you are at work or just apart for the day? I sometimes used my smart phone during work times to send messages on skype like that with my partner.

    I would also suggest maybe spending some time with your partner doing things which may not be exactly erotic, like bath or shower together, maybe a relaxing massage, but maybe touching each other could bring you into the mood. I can recommend buying a nice massage candle, the hot massage feels amazing and I do think its very sensual too.

    There are also some games, which are highly rated http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/fun/sex-games/ , especially the Monogamy is very favourite http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=662

    Also I am finding the less I actually have sex or masturbate, the more I am jjust meh, I cannot be bothered. I can live without it. This happens especially during stress times. So trying to keep it alive is also one step on actually not giving up on sex drive.

    1392201928
    bumblebee1989 [sign in to see picture]
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    I totally agree with reading erotic stories or books. This without fail gets me in the mood, and I find short stories are the best. Try this site...

    http://www.literotica.com/

    There are so many different 'genres' on there so have a read through them and see what floats your boat!

    I also find that buying and wearing new sexy underwear really turns me on. Maybe cheekily let your parner know your wearing it under your clothes and see how he reacts. But don't let him rip your clothes off straight away, let the sexual tension build.

    I read somewhere once that your sex drive can inscrease the more you masturbate. This also helps you discover what you really enjoy. Good luck!

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    ShannonMarlene [sign in to see picture]
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    I had the same problem. Zero sex drive whatsoever and it was causing problems in the relationship. However, ever since I found LH, it has helped quite a bit! I often look at toys an read/write erotic fiction and that seems to help me

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    LadyS [sign in to see picture]
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    I haven't posted on here yet, so my reply to you is my first post :) I am on this forum for the exact same reason as you.

    This year we are celebrating 10 years together and I am also turning 30, I think both events have prompted me to evaluate things and i decided kick starting our sex life was first on my list. I'm not sure hubby knows what's hit him though, lol, as it's back with a bang for sure.

    The number one thing that has helped me, and it is a repeat of the other ladies posts is reading. I got a kindle for christmas and i cannot get enough of erotic novels. This has even made me discover things I never knew I enjoyed. I also look on literotica as suggested above and have enjoyed many of the member stories on here. I even discovered i have a book inside my own head which I have started to write down.

    Sexy underewar has been a help too. I've always known hubby was into lingerie and I have loads but never wore it unless prompted. i then found a lovely crotchless/peephole number and after years of saying he didn't like crotchless undearwear we found out that he does in fact love it. It is now a firm favourite and just putting it on gets me excited :)

    i am finding the more we do it the more I want it. Just getting things moving again was the biggest step.

    Good luck and hope you have a great Valentines days ;)

    1392209028
    blonde vixen13 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hiya welcome

    A lot of the ladies on here have suffered from lack of sex drive and many of us all found that reading erotic fiction helped boost it. Like you I find I get excited and turned on reading reviews too..... So make sure you make the most of them. We also have an erotic fiction thread on our community forum where people can upload there short stories..... So that's worth a nosey.

    Good for you for making the effort. Try sitting down with your husband now and show him the site. You can shop online together and talk about what you would like to try out or how you can fulfill each other fantasys.

    Sign up for deal of the day emails as is a great way to pick up a bargain. That way you can try out new types of toys without spending too much.

    Lovehoney also offer a 365 day full refund policy, so even if you do not like something you can return it free of charge. So it's always worth while making a purchase to try out as you know you can return it if you do not like it.

    Personally I found that the best thing to do when I lost my sex drive was to just keep doing it. Once I got down to buisness I enjoyed it but I just never seemed to have the energy to want to do it!

    Hope you have fun x x

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    capricorn13 [sign in to see picture]
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    I can relate totally to this thread.

    I read 50 Shades to see what all the hype was about, decided I wanted to try the Ben Wa balls and found Love Honey. The rest, as they say, is history. My sex drive hasn't been this high since before the children were born (a very long time ago), I have a growing drawer full of toys, some sexy lingerie and am enjoying a reinvigorated relationship with my husband.

    I can warmly recommend the massage candle http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22425

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    KateL [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi, I dont mean to bump this thread aha!

    I just have a few questions as my OH is going through this so I'm on the other side, what sort of things have removed your sex drive? Sorry, I don''t mean to be nosy, just need a bit of help understanding why my partner is the same, as I always take it personally "/

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    MrsMcX [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree with everyone above, erotic fiction is the way forward!

    There's loads of things that can reduce someone's libido...suffering from depression, medication, hormonal imbalance from certain types of contraception (in women), stress, general unhappiness (maybe work or family woes), but the main reason I lost my libido a while ago was feeling so unhappy with myself. I felt unattractive, fat and ugly, and didn't want my OH near me because he would have to see how fat I was! If it's affecting your sex life the best thing you can do is talk, and find out the problem from there. I spoke with my husband about my low sex drive and told him my reasonings, we had a really in depth conversation where he put all my worries to rest, and then I invested in some treats from LH and wham, my sex drive was back! It's always best to talk x

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    mr and mrs [sign in to see picture]
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    this is a great thread and some really good advice. I have got the wife to read it so fingers crossed it may of helped.

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    maddymcpherson [sign in to see picture]
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    Hello, my first post too :-)

    I've had 2 children and serious health issues so it's fair to say my partner and I have gone through more than the odd dry spell.

    As well as erotic literature and LH toys, I found wearing nice underwear for myself, treating myself to some new make up or an outfit I feel good in has boosted my self esteem a lot too. Feeling sexier outside the bedroom and just for myself has lead to a much healthier sex drive and feeling more comfortable and confident to try new things.

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    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi,
    Reading erotic fiction gets my vote, it really can help. Spend a bit of time on yourself, buy some pretty lingerie and maybe a few new toys .
    Quite often having sex more regularly can sometimes kickstart your sex drive and I also think regular masturbation helps keep you interested as feel good hormones are released in to your body .

    Hope you have a great Valentine's Day x

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    LovelyLemons [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree with most on the erotic novels, we all can do with a bit of fantasy, a great way to get turned on, then the next important thing in my personal opinion is to feel yourself, get to know your body and have fun masturbating. Let your partner join in on the fun once you're comfortable with yourself. Also I'd suggest getting something to play with, which LH provides lots of. Maybe start off with some sexy lingerie, a blindfold or a bullet vibrator, then take it from there. Oh and one more very important thing is lube, lots of it, it always makes things more pleasurable (;

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    BrumGuy [sign in to see picture]
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    90% of sex is between the ears.

    So it's important that you can draw from a data base of knowledge. We do it when we converce with another person. We draw upon our knowlege to keep the conversation going otherwise we would just be a couple of dummies.

    There are plenty of areas that you can gain knowledge from. Erotica, Plenty of Free porn to see someones technique at performing. (some good porn for Women by Women) and loads of forums.

    We do it in our working life, we go on a refresher courses and dont think any thing of it. So we should do the same with our sex life.

    Knowledge and practice, hope it comes back soon.

    And try and eliminate stress.

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