• Bf selfish in bed

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    Hellotitty [sign in to see picture]
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    My bf of 2 years is really selfish in the bedroom.I always go down on him and he always finishes.I couldn't tell you the last time he went down on me or spent alot of time pleasuring me.It's getting to me becuase i feel quite left out.

    I need to talk to him about it without it hurting his ego,Suggestions please?

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    Strapon king [sign in to see picture]
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    Just thinking out loud but what about taking a dominant role? Then he has to do exactly what you tell him

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    FrozenAngel [sign in to see picture]
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    I don't really know what to suggest in regards to talking to him, other than just do it? I'm always upfront with my OH about what I want from us and in the bedroom, and he's upfront with me. I always find that open communication is always best for these kind of situations.

    I do hope things start to improve for you.

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    scotman [sign in to see picture]
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    Tell him honestly that you like to have him to love you orally as well. He might not be sure of what to do or be frightened of going down. Try not making it an issue but saying fairs fair . If he cannot or will not change maybe you need to think about wether or not you want to stay together. Life is to short to be unhappy with your sex life. Hopes this helps, sometimes you need to cruel to be kind

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    Ashe [sign in to see picture]
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    I don't think it sounds like he's being intentionally selfish, just talk to him bluntly about it... try to avoid terms like selfish though, no need to accidentally start a huge deal over it, just be relaxed and normal, everyone needs communication on what to do sometimes :)

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    alan72 [sign in to see picture]
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    take time and speak to him tell him what you like and where you like it try using hot and cold my wife loves it. i first suck a ice cube so my mouth tongue are very cold then i tease her clit and lips then slowly work on her inside so her pussy is cold it drives her wild then drink a hot drink mint tea is very good then i go to work on her again i do this untill she reaches climax using hot and cold xxx hope this helps

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    sxe_couple21 [sign in to see picture]
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    FrozenAngel wrote:

    I don't really know what to suggest in regards to talking to him, other than just do it? I'm always upfront with my OH about what I want from us and in the bedroom, and he's upfront with me. I always find that open communication is always best for these kind of situations.

    I do hope things start to improve for you.

    ^This. Upfront is so much easier than dancing around the issues or even worse; games...

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    truegrace [sign in to see picture]
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    You should just refuse to give yourself til you receive something back in the oral department, that will soon bring him around!
    On a serious note as the others have said just be straight with him. He may be being selfish, he may hate doing it, or might just not know what to do.
    At least with it out in the open you can work on it

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    Cap54 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi
    I have the same problem, I could go down on the wife all day but I'am lucky the have the favour returned may be one a year ( if I'am lucky)
    Infact I prefer oral to vaginal sex
    So my take on this would be to stop giving him oral he may then realise a little give and take would be in order

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    truegrace [sign in to see picture]
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    amandammmm wrote:

    I just sit on his face. No choice then. ;)

    this would work !
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    chunkyg [sign in to see picture]
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    amandammmm wrote:

    I just sit on his face. No choice then. ;)

    Good Advice I reckon.

    One possibility is that he just doesn't understand the importance. I think some of us blokes from time to time need it spelt out clearly :-) Just saying something like "right my time to come first to tonight" might just give him the message :-)

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    Scorpius12 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hellotitty wrote:

    My bf of 2 years is really selfish in the bedroom.I always go down on him and he always finishes.I couldn't tell you the last time he went down on me or spent alot of time pleasuring me.It's getting to me becuase i feel quite left out.

    I need to talk to him about it without it hurting his ego,Suggestions please?

    Hi Hun - I agree with what everyone here says - communication is the most important part of a happy sex life. It may be an idea to have a chat with him before you are in a bedroom situation and tell him things that you would like to try that would really turn you on - which may make him feel powerful and therefore want to try harder. Make sure that you are very specific about what you would like to have done to you - because as others have said above - it may be that he is unsure, and that is what is holding him back.

    And another thought.... why not try watching some porn with him (most men would be up for this) and point out with the appropriate "ooohhh, I'd like to try that", or "I bet that feels amazing" - in the parts of the scene you would like to highlight for him. Just make sure that you have pre-checked the porn scene to make sure it is something that you really like. Hope this helps xx

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    Lady Ness [sign in to see picture]
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    While I fully agree that being blunt about your desires is a good idea, not everyone is able to do this. While I'm blunt with anyone I sleep with my dos and don'ts, some of them are nervous, so I find using things like certain boiard games and other games to help allow them feel they have some input. Maybe have a look out for a sex game which might get you both exploring on equal terms =)

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    etc28 [sign in to see picture]
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    Yes communication is key to making sure you both get what you need, but if you're unable to do this for whatever reason try some bondage ropes and take charge

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    Laveila [sign in to see picture]
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    Hello,

    I would try to talk to him openly, but I would avoid words like selfish, I feel left out etc. Maybe there is a reason why he does not give you oral so much and it is not actually intentionally selfish as you may think.

    He could be insecure about something, or there is posibility he does not like giving oral. There are women and men both alike, who just do not feel comfortable giving oral sex. And some may do it, but do not feel comfortable with their partner finishing while giving oral. You will see women here posting that they do not feel comfortable with their partner ejaculating into their mouths while they give him oral sex, and you will see men asking if there is something they can do about it.

    The only way you can find out why he is not into giving you oral sex is to have a honest conversation with him

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    Mr F [sign in to see picture]
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    You could always play with a vibrator in front of him and tease him. Then when he tries to join in dont let him. He'll probably soon get annoyed and really want to play with you.

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    goblingirl1980 [sign in to see picture]
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    Communication is always the key. I found that my partner was foregoing foreplay just because I was 'ready' and this meant by the time I was getting started he'd already finished. Quick chat and another session the next day and I was left a quivering wreck :-)

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    rose hip [sign in to see picture]
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    Hellotitty wrote:

    I need to talk to him about it without it hurting his ego,Suggestions please?

    Have you tried something as simple as saying something like "Can it be my turn now?"

    That reassures him you'll still take care of his needs, reminds him you need some attention too, and let's him start with whatever he's most comfortable with.

    Or maybe something like cuddling up to him and saying something like "I'd really love it if you went down on me now."

    Having a Conversation about it can be pressure-making. Maybe he'll respond well enough to that, but not everyone does. If you haven't already, try a low key suggestion first.

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    [suspended user]

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    Communication is key!

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    Camm [sign in to see picture]
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    i love going down on my girlfriend but she's not keen. its a real shame, love the taste of pussy - really turns me on.

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