• Am I close....?

    1391169920
    PinkPolkaDot [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm really sorry formatting sucks on my phone! I left gaps between paragraphs and it still looks like one big chunk of text and it doesn't do anything when I try to edit :/

    1391171035
    Laveila [sign in to see picture]
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    You are not a freak. It just takes sometimes a lot to orgasm and there could be several reasons why you cannot.

    Personally I have to be mentally as well as physically aroused to orgasm. If you do not feel like watching porn, why not try a book to read something to get you into the mood? I got this one recently and I really love it http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=27954

    But you can see the whole selection here http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/fun/erotic-books/

    Maybe trying an orgasm ball can help too, as it will make you more sensitive and more likely to orgasm. But would be careful with it if you are really sensitive.

    If you are aroused and mentally in the mood, there can be another problem. Are you taking some meds? Meds, usually strong painkillers, antibiotics, hormonal contraception or meds for depressions can be a reason why woman cannot orgasm. Or in some cases she even looses the sex drive completely.

    Finally maybe the toy is not right for you. I would try to experiment with it a bit, use it in different positions, try different motions. If it has more settings, try to use them all to see which one is the best for one. It may give you some clue what your body enjoys even if the toy is not good enough for you. Not all toys will suit all women. There is no best toy for all women. I can tell you what my best toy is, but I am very sure others will disagree. And I will not agree with their best toy selection. It is all about how the toy will fit in with your body needs. Some people are lucky they find the best toy on first try, most need to learn which toy will suit them. And preferences may change over time.

    1391174287
    vanilla turned kinky [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 25 Jan 2014

    Well I have a one year old so I do find it hard to switch off. But then I've always got crap going on so I find it hard to switch off in general. I was brought up in a family where sex etc was very taboo, never talked about, and any other experiences I had when I was younger (to young) were a nervous fumbled mess. I've been with my partner a long time and he's equally inexperienced but he's never seemed to know (or acknowledge) the fact that I fake it. I'm not going to lie the first introduction I had to anything remotely erotic was 50 shades, I only read it as I wanted to see what the fuss was about, and as badly as it was written it really opened my eyes. I knew nothing about simple pleasuring let alone Dom/sub etc. Until this week id never even really masterbated :/ I saw a link to this forum in something else and was reading a few weeks before posting this and I honestly never realised what really gos on in some people's sex life. It got me thinking about the fact I had never even experienced an orgasm and for the first time ever I thought I've got to do something about this and more importantly I want to do something about it.

    This also has come from feeling better about myself, took along time to shift the baby weight and I'm only just starting to feel confident again plus the other thing which has helped is coming off contraception. Was on it solidly for years, had my baby and went straight back on. I've been off it since July and it certainly made me gain a sex drive, I've never wanted sex until now and certainly never initiated it so that's a start I suppose!

    I've tried watching a bit of porn but it doesn't seem to do much for me, other than reiterate how little I know! I tried watching myself in the mirror but again i just felt silly and that in turn probably just puts that guard straight up.

    Pink polkadot that's generally the positions we use as that' what himself likes, we have tried others which aagain I get no joy from.

    I do think I need to try another toy, it's really off putting with the pink glow and aalso its very noisy which puts me off. Is there something a bit quieter anyone could recommend?

    What is an orgasam egg??

    1391174531
    vanilla turned kinky [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 25 Jan 2014

    Sorry meant to say thanks for the advice, I know I've waffled but I did read what you both said and keeping all tips stored!! :)

    1391174801
    Alastor [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 15 May 2013

    There is plenty of better-written erotica than FSoG for you to try to help get you in the mood. In fact, most of the stuff in the fiction forum on here is better (and free). An advantage over film is that the pictures are better, because they come from your own imagination.

    Anyway, no matter how you approach your explorations, I wish you much pleasure.

    1391175769
    vanilla turned kinky [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 25 Jan 2014

    Thank you alastor, I have had a quick look but i will look at them properly on your recommendation :)

    1391176242
    Alastor [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 15 May 2013

    vanilla turned kinky wrote:

    Thank you alastor, I have had a quick look but i will look at them properly on your recommendation :)

    Wildthing, Mary Kitty Cat, and Kruger are my personal faves. And some like mine. *blushes*
    1391185105
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 18 Oct 2011

    Just wanted to comment on your recent post vanilla. One sentence jumped out at me, this one: "Up until this week I'd never really masturbated"

    First of all, you are not a freak! (promise) secondly, I wonder how long it took for women (and men even) experimenting and playing with themselves, before they reached an orgasm. (often by surprise!) I know for me it was way longer than a week. What I am trying to say is pleeeease don't give up after one week.

    Try something like this....Imagine the first month, you are not trying to orgasm. Get rid of the idea of orgasm. Try focusing on the idea of experimenting. Try fingers and the vibe you have and try all kinda of different techniques. Fast, slow, circular movements, up-down movements, holding the vibe still in one place, moving it around, wiggling it around. Try stroking all different areas of your vulva, gentle strokes, firm strokes, try inserting a dildo at the same time as clitoral play...etc etc. Treat the first month like "experimental month" where you don't even care about the orgasm or potential orgasm, but just want to learn the "oooh, that felt good" and the "erghh no that doesn't" touches.

    While you experiment, just relax, in a bath or in bed. You could do the above while reading an erotic story or watching porn, something to distract your mind from worry or thinking about not thinking about the orgasm. You could also try to think up some fantasies in your head, to think about while you do this. Things you would like to happen to you, or would like to do with your partner. You could even imagine your fingers are his fingers...and focus on where he is trailing them, the movements, the feelings.

    It may take time and while I see no problem in trying different vibrators, I would also not recommend trying a new one each week, as you may start getting upset with yourself as more pressure is added when each new toy arrives, "Will THIS be the one?" you know what I mean?

    Most women struggle to orgasm, not because of a physical problem, but because of mental blocks. Seriously! We have the power to have, or destroy any possibility of an orgasm, just by thinking it away, with worry or random thoughts or insecurity about something.

    Just a little info about toys as well, from my experience.

    You can have cheap and powerful.....but it WILL be noisy

    You can have powerful and quiet....but it won't be cheap.

    Hope that helps! Good luck

    1394630288
    vanilla turned kinky [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 25 Jan 2014

    Hi all, hope no one minds me bringing an old thread back! Thought I'd update as to where I am in my quest as everyone was so helpful.

    So I took your advice fluffbags and I started from the beginning.. I shook all wants and needs out my head and have been experimenting with what I like and what I don't. I quickly became quite hooked on touching myself and the feeling it gave me, although not orgasam it felt good and I found I wanted to do it more, so I feel I'm now over the mental barrier of pleasuring myself iykim. (Feel like a horny teenager lol)

    The little vibe I had didn't give me what I needed so I brought a Jessica rabbit 2.0 and wow, I can feel why 500+ reviewers love it... those little ears!!!

    I've been playing with that and although I've still not had the big O, I've certainly come closer than I ever have before. The feeling is explosive and it makes my body twitch and tingle like nothing before but I still can't seem to get further?! I've tried just the vibe, using the dildo and vibe and using the whole shebang on every setting combination possible and I feel something building but then it's gone and it just gos back to feeling nice. I've tried tensing, relaxing, letting myself go, thinking of other things but I just can't seem to get further.

    I let oh have a go, completely surrendered my self to him and the rabbit, which was quite difficult but soon really started to enjoy it and my body was doing all sorts of involuntary jerks, I was really wet and it felt amazing but nothing came of it.. I couldn't even stand up after so something must be happening but I know the saying 'if your not sure, you didn't have one'

    I think I'm defiantly there in mind, all I can think about is my next chance to have a go and I'm not disheartened it hasn't happened yet it's just made me more determined that I WILL experience this amazing body function!!

    The quest continues..........

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