• Relative newbie to Domination/bondage in need of advice...

    1389140005
    Jonnyjonjon [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 13
    • Joined: 25 Jan 2013

    Hi all!

    First off forgive me if this has been asked previouslt but I couldnt really find much info on this specifically...

    I have been with my current partner for just over a year and she has really 'opened my eyes' when it comes to sex, toys and just generally being a bit naughty!

    Since we first got together I knew she has a bit of a thing for being dominated and being restrained so we have tried it a handful of times and have both really enjoyed it. Unfortunately we cant really spend much time to indulge in it now as I lost my job in October and had to move back to the parents' (yay...)

    Anyway...

    She loves playing the submissive naughty girl and I really enjoy it too as I can pretty much do whatever I want to her and she loves it, however one mood killer/stumbling block for me has been how to actually restrain her dominantly, yet sexily. Basically what I mean is instead of 'breaking character' and saying 'hold this bit of rope here for me would you luv whilst i tie you up', is there a way to either keep them entertained whist you do or is it just a fact that bondage involes a few minutes of downtime to do the actual restraining? How do you keep it hot whilst doing the intricate rope type bondage?

    For valentines I really want to endulge in this and really push all of her buttons as a bit of a surprise so I was wondering if youk inky lot have any tips or tricks!

    Just to note, equipment wise we have underbed restraints (awesome!) blindfolds and metal fluffy handcuffs and a cheapo spanking stick with feather tickler!

    Cheers all!

    1389140541
    SherbetWrite [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 71
    • Joined: 1 Jan 2013

    If you're both okay with it, a few minutes if downtime isn't going to hurt, and it's actually a good time to ensure that everything's okay before continuing.

    With regards to you question:

    Could you try being dominant in the way you tell her to hold the rope? Maybe the threat of a punishment if she doesn't help you out, or calling her a degrading name if your scenes involve that. Perhaps you could tease her by letting her know what you're going to do when she's "helpless", etc.

    1389140943
    HMJ [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 3
    • Joined: 7 Jan 2014

    blindfold!!!! blindfold her. it will at least put u abit at ease her not looking at u and waiting. remember she is the sub and ur her master. you can use ur tickler yo keep her senses awake so a little tickle here and abit slap there it will completely heighten her arousal not knowing whats going on and where you are. YOUR IN CHARGE so dont worry about telling her to do this and that because the chances are that she will like it :) i find "hog ties" work really well. i have some and they werent too expensive, there are 4 cuffs which are all velcro and all come apart with a metal clip, put one either side of the bed like underbed restraints then when your ready to tie her up its just a case of strapping the velcro around her wrists and she is firmly in place, you can also use then for legs if you both like that aswell. hope this helps. good luck!

    1389141923
    Jonnyjonjon [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 13
    • Joined: 25 Jan 2013

    @ TheOutsider

    Yeah that sounds like a good idea, I just assumed that the downtime was a newbie thing because of concentrating on not fluffing up restaints, knots etc. I think i get so focussed on doing the restraining that I forget the other stuff!

    Definitely not a multi-tasking guy! ha ha

    @HMJ

    One thing we tried and she absolutely loved was when I blind folded her, put headphones in her ears ,so her hearing and visual senses were impaired, and played qute an eclectic mix of music Including Nine Inch Nails - Closer which seemed to get her going even though she doesnt really listen to that type of music!

    I'll definitely look into the hog ties though, thanks for the heads up!

    1389146083
    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1941
    • Joined: 17 Nov 2008

    You could use verbal cues. instead of being all nice about it you could command her to hold things or use word play and talking dirty to enhance it. For example if she likes spanking then give her a few smacks while putting the rope behind her back, or play on the power dynamic by telling her how much control you have. Mental play can really help enhance the feeling!

    1389189250
    matyhaty [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 59
    • Joined: 12 Jul 2007

    Concur with the blindfolding and earphones (or ear plugs / ear defenders)

    Not being able to see and only hearing yourslef is quite a mental sensory increase.

    Also, a Gag can make someone further this sensation - worth looking into....

    Have fun.

    1389193546
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2219
    • Joined: 18 Oct 2011

    Like others have said, a blindfold and even ear plugs will allow you to turn that downtime into a game. While blindfolded, she will be feeling your touches and movements more, and so you can even slow the typing down, teasing her by dragging the rope over her body first, allowing her to work out what you might do with it. Taking her wrists and looping the rope around, pulling gently and letting it slide away, before finally securing her.

    You can also talk to her during the tying. Tell her why she is getting tied up, why she is a naughty girl and what you intend to do about it. Like you said though, you will need to practice your knots etc until you have the muscle memory to allow you to focus on taking to her while tying. That comes with time and practice.

    My best advice though is:

    Check out some wrist restraint guides for rope, because there are some that can bind the wrists in under 10 seconds, even for newbies. You can even set the rope into loops and knots ahead of time, ready to just slip onto her wrists into and tighten. Check out "prisoner rope cuffs" on Youtube, for example. These are ideal for newbies as they take seconds to do and minutes to learn and master. There are lots of other simply wrist restraints available if you browse the net. Also check out how to tie some basic slip knots. This will allow you to secure the rope to the bedframe (or whereever) in just a few seconds and you will have a knot that will not allow her to free herself, but should you pull on the other end of the rope, it will fall undone in a second (Handy if she needs to be freed immediately) Mastering a simple wrist tie and a slip knot will allow you to have her restrained in seconds! This will really reduce your downtime and the simple loops and knots will allow you to focus on talking to her, whispering your threats of what you will do when she is tied. (When playing with rope, keep a pair of safety scissors nearby in case of emergency.)

    Good luck!

    1389193858
    matyhaty [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 59
    • Joined: 12 Jul 2007

    Definatly agree about the knots.

    As with most things like that, its about preperation.

    Practice on yourself over and over and over. If you can do it on yourself - then it will be easier on you.

    A big teddy could be subject to bondage tests also!

    1389194537
    Stephanie [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 307
    • Joined: 11 Sep 2013

    Just thought I'd drop by and say that If you are thinking of trying velcro restraints like those mentioned by HMJ we've got loads in our "Handcuffs & Restraints" category, you can find them here.

    There are hog ties there too if you and your girlfriend like that position :)

    1389194895
    matyhaty [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 59
    • Joined: 12 Jul 2007

    The velcrow ones are really good. We have a few

    For newbies the valcro picky side is side up, so even if you tie in a hurry they want get the sratchy side on their skin.

    1389198951
    Jonnyjonjon [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 13
    • Joined: 25 Jan 2013

    Thanks for all of your input guys, I really appreciate it as it has given me a better insight into it all, not to mention some pretty awesome ideas!

    I have been watching a few youtube vids on knots and its fascinating! The whole thing kind of has an artistic nature to it too which appeals to my creative side.

    I will definitely be checking out the hog ties too as I think they will allow us to move away from the bed, as the under bed restraints kind of limit us to stay in one place. We do have LH's bondage tape which is very good, but I think rope will give more of a natural/erotic feel to it.

    Next question; Is there a specific rope that is used or will any decent quality rope that you can cut in an emergency, do?

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=15780 <---- Seems to ave had good reviews!

    1389208286
    blonde vixen13 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2083
    • Joined: 23 Jun 2012

    I would suggest you blindfold her and whilst your actually tying her up or positing her etc tell her what your going to do. Tell her why your trying her.... Because she was naughty and disobeyed you etc. Tell her what your plans are..... I'm going to tease you from head to toe until you are about to cum but your not allowed to do that.... Or I'm going to spank your firm ass until you beg me to stop Etc etc

    By telling her you will get her all excited and it will give you time to get her ready

    1389212497
    GarynChrissy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 44
    • Joined: 22 Oct 2011

    Blind folding is good and also get the under bed restraint kit very good as we have one and used it loads

    1389213991
    Sum Sub [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 4214
    • Joined: 4 Dec 2012

    Get her to kneel down. Blindfold her and tell her to wait exactly there. No moving no noises nothing.
    Then go prepare whatever you need to come back when you're ready and punish her for an transgressions against your instructions.
    Then tell her she must do everything you instruct her to and acknowledge every instruction with yes master.
    Then have fun teasing her punishing her getting her to pleasure you whatever rocks your boat really.
    Get her to earn her freedom and or beg you for it. Same for orgasm. If she's bad lock her up again start again

    1389271880
    Jonnyjonjon [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 13
    • Joined: 25 Jan 2013

    Great suggestions guys, she would love me doing any of that to her!

    I have a feeling she will have a few nice surprises coming soon!

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.