• Any other female doms?

    1387628582
    Stockings [sign in to see picture]
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    Where are you?

    why should the men always be the Dom?

    My boyfriend trusts me to always get it right.

    1387628988
    Sum Sub [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm a male sub :)
    My OH is my Domme

    1387629164
    Stockings [sign in to see picture]
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    Awesome :) how did you two decide who was going to take which role?

    What would you say to other men who think they're too masculine to be a sub?

    Sometimes I tease & pretend I'm going to let him be Dom but then I take over XD.

    1387630520
    Lady Ness [sign in to see picture]
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    I am a lifestyle Dom and a Pro Dom.

    I also own a sub full time, his body, and his money, basically everything including his limits. So far I have pushed past alol his limits, and he still keeps coming back, so I've decided to offically collar him later in the year.

    In the professional network there are more female Doms than male. I find that within the general public and scene it's the other way around.

    I've always been Dominant, and I have tried being a sub, but it has lasted a max of 20mins before I end up doing something highly controlling and sadistic to the one trying to Dom me.

    I think male subs can be very masculine. While some may see them as femine due to the misconceived view that subs are weak, I believe a sub gender is very unique to the person. Some have gender fluidity, others trans, some are femine, and more.

    Sure you can sissificate a sub and make them more feminine, however without extreme behavour modification, it's unlikely to change their natural self.

    1387631718
    Stockings [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm only a Dom in bed.

    It really helps me relieve my anxiety. As I've had chronic mental health illnesses, being a Dom is how I can control things in a healthy & fun way. I've had different types of self harm addictions in the past. I find it such a turn on that my boyfriend is open minded. He even knows that sometimes I fantasise him as a female. Since we are open to each other we know what works & what doesn't. I'm a perfectionist (probably another reason why I'm a Dom) so after sex we discuss it. I fantasise about being a sub when I try, I always take over. I don't like feeling out of control whatsoever.
    1387631720
    Stockings [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm only a Dom in bed.

    It really helps me relieve my anxiety. As I've had chronic mental health illnesses, being a Dom is how I can control things in a healthy & fun way. I've had different types of self harm addictions in the past. I find it such a turn on that my boyfriend is open minded. He even knows that sometimes I fantasise him as a female. Since we are open to each other we know what works & what doesn't. I'm a perfectionist (probably another reason why I'm a Dom) so after sex we discuss it. I fantasise about being a sub when I try, I always take over. I don't like feeling out of control whatsoever.

    1387631774
    Sum Sub [sign in to see picture]
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    We've always been into bondage but I told her I wanted to serve her and be under her control. Our lifestyle and my work doesn't allow us to do it all the time and we have found ways of working it in around work and family.

    I agree with nymphomaniac in that it's unique to an individual so not all could be submissive and in my professional life I am the polar opposite and I genuinely believe myself to be viewed by others as overtly masculine. But I have never been so happy as when I'm being controlled.

    If my OH wanted me to be Dom I'd do it for her as I would do anything for her but I wouldn't enjoy it and I don't think it'll happen as she doesn't have the mental toughness I do.

    And that's the point a lot of people miss I think; you have to be properly tough to be properly submissive. Tough mentally tough physically and tough in resolve.

    1387632119
    Stockings [sign in to see picture]
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    You sound similar to my boyfriend.

    I definitely don't have the mental toughness to be a sub. I think each time I've tried, I've been in tears. It's a very psychological thing for me.

    1387632325
    Sum Sub [sign in to see picture]
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    The other thing I think should be said is D/s means different things to different people so don't let any 3rd party ever tell you you're doing it wrong.

    1387632849
    Lady Ness [sign in to see picture]
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    @Stockings, yes some people do find it a good way to get over nerves within the bedroom. Plus also I don't like the sense of laking control (so much so that I even dislike having doctors poke me with needles because they are controlling it).

    @SumSub Yes, my subs look so happy when being controlled, it actually really makes me very happy to see their faces.

    Plus I agree about mentally a sub having to be tough. Particularly as I specialise in mind fucking, so often making a sub believe something is happening / going to happen, when it's not. For example, if I have a client I may ask them if their wife knows they are here, if they say know, I demand their wife's phone number and pretend to ring it, it shakes them up a little, but when they realise it hasn't hapened they often get very happy (and not just because it didn't happen, but that I had that much control over them).

    Another thing I do which requires being mentally strong is written exams with trick questions, as well as remaking old psychology studies with my subs as the subjects.

    Plus I alter behaviour and things, such as making a sub learn to associate a word with another oir a sound or body motion.

    Mentally being able to cope with humilation is important too, such as dressing a sub up like a Christmas tree, or making them stand there for ages, I did want to keep him there until taking down the Christmas decs, but annoyingly he had to go to work (which I require him to do so as I spend his money for him).

    I've made one sub very happy this Christmas by getting him a bangle with OWNED engraved into it. I even gave him the reciept which made him laugh. Although I've already told him that if he's bad I will get 'DIS' engraved onto it so it'd say 'DISOWNED', which has kept him in line very well now ^_^.

    Phgsyically strong is needed too, so they are able to withstand long spanking sessions (which many subs beg for, due to the attention, and some love the pain). But also I make my subs perform tasks such as running in their underwear at 3am outside in the cold - oh that was a funny night ^_^.

    I'm actually a very sadistic and strict Mistress, which is interesting as in real life and when doing escorting, I'm seen as very lovely and very caring. Although acting the way I do for my subs is caring, they feel. =)

    1387632950
    Lady Ness [sign in to see picture]
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    Sum Sub wrote:

    The other thing I think should be said is D/s means different things to different people so don't let any 3rd party ever tell you you're doing it wrong.

    Agree, unless it's something which may kill a sub, or make them commit a crime. Then I'd say listen to others.

    1387633550
    Lady Ness [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh plus I think you have to be very strong to be a Dom, and not just so you can control your whips and crops well, but metally so the sub doesn't Top from the bottom. Plus also creativity really helps.

    1387640763
    wolfgirl82 [sign in to see picture]
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    I prefer to be the one in control in the bedroom yes but it may sound a little strange that i don't find submissive guys a turn on, at least not completely submissive. I prefer someone who will fight me for the control and if that sounds totally weird i understand but it turns me on if a guy doesn't just sit and take it, i want him to try to overpower me.. if he can haha.Challenge!

    1387643041
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    I am still evolving. Not 100% sure what I am so at the moment I describe myself as a switch. For the last year, I have been the dominant, him submissive and it seemed to just fit us really well. Last month I got him his first chastity cage and he is now locked up and all mine. :D What Ness said rings true for me too. I prefer the mental side and the mind fucks...

    Two nights ago, about 2am) I dressed him in one of my pretty dresses, panties and tights and made him edge in front of me. About half way through I stood up, got dressed without saying a word, handed him his coat and took him outside to the car. Drove him around the corner to a forest area (I live in the middle of nowhere, with just a few houses around and mainly forest) Told him to get out and come home with cum in his (my) pants. Apparently he walked home in the shadows and was shitting himself that someone would be about.

    I have made him fantasise about a woman he knows and tell me out loud what he is doing to her. while I gave him head. Then mocked and scolded him for being aroused by another woman.

    This week I have been mostly ruining his orgasms, until one night when I gave all the signals that he was on for a proper orgasm. As I edged him I started asking him if I should ruin it. Teasing and mocking him into the belief that he was going to have an orgasm, but I might just ruin it again. After an hour or so of teasing I grabbed his cage and locked him back up without giving him either. The look on his face was priceless.

    One of my ultimate fantasies would be to pre arrange with another woman, a threesome. not the standard threesome, but I would basically blindfold him, tie him spread eagled to the bed, put on headphones so he could not hear and then start teasing his body. At some point I would get off the bed and let this other woman into the room and let her take over the stroking until he was edging. (Still hopefully thinking it was just me and being none the wiser) I would then approach the top of the bed, lean over, remove the headphones and say something like "How DARE YOU" just as this other woman pushes him over. Mid orgasm he realises someone else just made him cum, because now he has 3 or 4 hands on his body. hehe. I would like to do this one, but I cannot really do this, without his consent beforehand, which would take away the "not knowing" part. Fun fantasy though!

    I have really grown into the role, enjoying pegging him and taking total control and leaving his head spinning as he does not know what to expect from one minute to the next. I love it. I love his submissive side. I love him.

    1387648993
    Lady Ness [sign in to see picture]
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    wolfgirl82 wrote:

    I prefer to be the one in control in the bedroom yes but it may sound a little strange that i don't find submissive guys a turn on, at least not completely submissive. I prefer someone who will fight me for the control and if that sounds totally weird i understand but it turns me on if a guy doesn't just sit and take it, i want him to try to overpower me.. if he can haha.Challenge!

    One thing many people think is that subs won't fight / play-up. They do, and they can be very sadistic at times (often mentally).

    1387650486
    Sum Sub [sign in to see picture]
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    The Nymphomaniac wrote:

    wolfgirl82 wrote:

    I prefer to be the one in control in the bedroom yes but it may sound a little strange that i don't find submissive guys a turn on, at least not completely submissive. I prefer someone who will fight me for the control and if that sounds totally weird i understand but it turns me on if a guy doesn't just sit and take it, i want him to try to overpower me.. if he can haha.Challenge!

    One thing many people think is that subs won't fight / play-up. They do, and they can be very sadistic at times (often mentally).

    Muhahahah
    1387654978
    wolfgirl82 [sign in to see picture]
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    The Nymphomaniac wrote:

    wolfgirl82 wrote:

    I prefer to be the one in control in the bedroom yes but it may sound a little strange that i don't find submissive guys a turn on, at least not completely submissive. I prefer someone who will fight me for the control and if that sounds totally weird i understand but it turns me on if a guy doesn't just sit and take it, i want him to try to overpower me.. if he can haha.Challenge!

    One thing many people think is that subs won't fight / play-up. They do, and they can be very sadistic at times (often mentally).

    Good i love that lol, i'm always hopeful they will turn the tables and throw me up against the wall or something and make things more interesting :)

    1387659143
    flaneur [sign in to see picture]
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    Last femdom and last woman for me was my boss, she was a towering woman that always had her way.

    1387659878
    MSJ6952 [sign in to see picture]
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    Love the OH being dom, i personally have sub tendencies.

    Seems like the ladies do prefer men to be the dom maybe its the way us guys are precieved.

    1387721190
    Stockings [sign in to see picture]
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    Boyfriend & I had a very good session last night.

    he's covered in scratches bless him. I love teasing him.

    he then woke me up at 6am for more :).

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