• [guide] Performing cunnilingus (or eating pussy)

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    Ste [sign in to see picture]
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    I've decided to get back to erotic writing after a break of a long time and decided to make my first piece non-fiction and wanted to focus on one of my favourite pastimes!

    Many thanks to the super-amazing Fluffbags for reading through this and giving suggestions. Everyone should go visit her amazing blog (link on her profile - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/members/fluffbags/)

    Enjoy and looking forward to reading any comments!

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    Performing cunnilingus (or eating pussy) is totally about the woman. Every ounce of your energy should be focused and devoted on satisfying her deeply - attending to her needs and desires.

    As the clitoris is comprised of so many nerves she will notice the most insignificant gesture or change of pressure and the fact you did it for her will make her feel sexy, luxurious and special, bathed in a warm glow.

    Setting the atmosphere.

    A calm, relaxing atmosphere will help her to calm down and allow her to melt into the experience. Clean sheets, aromatic candles releasing a subtle soft scent into the air, and soft music will add in creating the perfect environment. For an extra touch of luxury, flowers in the room or sprinkled rose petals on the bed or to the bed will evoke feelings of happiness.

    That said, not all women respond to the same stimuli and the above may appear somewhat pretentious and ruin the moment. Concentrate on the things you know relaxes your lady, or gets her into the moment. Doing the same thing every time woud get incredibly boring and predictable.

    Bring in different things - cuddling on the couch watching a movie and progressing things, pulling over in the countryside, pushing and reclining her car seat back and diving in unexpectedly. Surprise elements can be a massive turn-on and lead to intense passion.

    A positive attitude.

    You need to have a positive mindset towards eating pussy in order to give your lady a mindblowing experience, this is the most important element. With the right attitude, you will innately have the motivation and enthusiasm to become talented at eating her.

    That said, if you don't really enjoy it or think it's a bit of a chore then you will never become great at eating her out.

    You need to express passion, enthusiasm and a willingness to learn and adapt otherwise she will sense that you are not really into it.

    Consider how she will feel if you are simply going through the motions and don't really care about her pleasure. She will begin to feel self-conscious and worry what is wrong with her.

    Going down on your woman as "tit-for-tat" because you will get a blowjob in return is a terrible, terrible reason. You eat her because you WANT to. You eat her because you absolutely love it, and because SHE loves it. Your desire should be to pleasure her to the best of your ability. That is the only thing that matters - it's all about her and only her. You derive your pleasure from HER pleasure - tasting her, smelling her, hearing her gasp and moan, her body grinding against your face until she gushes her sweet nectar over you.

    Arousal

    Perhaps the most important - a woman needs to feel an intimate and emotional bond to truly get off in maximum ecstasy. A woman not aroused MENTALLY will find it truly difficult to achieve maximum pleasure. She needs to be aroused BOTH mentally and physically.

    This is especially true before oral sex. You cannot simply throw your head between her legs and start slurping away - you are likely to be greeting by fits of giggles, a slap round the head, stern words or a combination of the above. Sure, some women after a quick get off will probably leave you to it, but we are talking about your woman, a woman you care for, have an emotional connection with and wish to please.

    If she is not mentally, emotionally and physically ready then you could ruin her entire experience before you have even started. The clitoris is the only organ designed solely for pleasure. It has twice as many nerve endings than you do in your entire penis. That is without the other nerve endings within her vaginal opening and her g spot.

    If you start too soon you may get one orgasm from her, if you're lucky. But that is not what we are aiming for here, we want her to be able to experience maximum pleasure because she is stimulated mentally and physically and totally relaxed enjoying the moment.

    A lot of people consider oral sex as foreplay, I prefer to think of it as needing to be preceded by foreplay. Investing time stroking, kissing, licking, sucking, touching and tasting all over her body, massaging pleasurable spots on her body to get her senses heightened and raised for what's to come.

    Do not dismiss the importance of words either, tell her how nice she smells, how sexy she looks and how much you love her and want her. Tell her that you cannot wait to taste her.

    Proceed to tease her, lick slowly from her perineum up to her clit in one motion and back down, probing her vaginal opening with your tongue.

    You can massage her opening with a finger also to check how wet she is. It's important to be subtle with this, women know about this "wet test" and if your woman does not really get wet it can instill negative thoughts and ruin the entire experience for her. You can introduce flavoured lube in this scenario to both increase her wetness and add to the excitement.

    Don't rush things, take your time and enjoy everything. Her clit will swell, she will be very wet (with lube if she lacks natural lubrication) and hopefully begging you to eat her some time after you start. You can choose to prolong her agony at this point or give her want she craves.

    Listening and communication

    You NEED to give her all your attention. You are not just using your tongue when you perform oral sex. She needs attention from your hands, your eyes and your voice.

    Put your passion into eating her and stimulating her senses. Make her feel like you are privileged to be worshipping at her altar, tell her how much you desire her and let her see how much you love eating her pussy. Make sure she knows that she can take as long as she needs to derive ultimate pleasure because you think she is DELICIOUS and you are enjoying it immensely.

    Don't make the mistake of assuming you know exactly what she wants and how she wants it. Different women will respond differently to everything, and the same woman perhaps differently from one time to the next. Pressures, sensations, depth and location of stimulation can all change at a moments notice.

    Pay attention to both her verbal and non-verbal feedback. If she bucks against you then she wants exactly what you are doing where you are. If she retreats then you are applying too much pressure. If you tells you to insert another finger, do so. If she wants a finger in her ass, do it. You must be prepared to adjust and react throughout the entire experience.

    Asking

    Don't adopt the traditional male hookup - if you ask her for guidance then she will think you haven't a clue what you are doing. It's quite the reverse - if you have started well to this point then you have demonstrated your prowess and care and are showing even more so by asking her how to increase her pleasure levels.

    After a moment on her clit or inside her, tell her sensually how great she tastes, how much you love eating her and you want to know what she likes most, or what she really wants. It's important to ask with your tongue, your hands and your eyes too.

    Pay constant attention to her body moves - if you are stroking her g spot and she pushes against your fingers then she wants more pressure for example. Your eyes, your hands, words and sounds communicate how passionate you are about her and how much you desire her.

    Pay close attention to everything she is saying to you with words, sounds and body movements and adjust adjust adjust!

    Orgasms

    When you are eating a woman, in my opinion, you should drink her nectar until she is completely spent or begging you to move on to the next stage of sex.

    If she comes the first time through clit stimulation then you know it works and it is a viable trigger, vary position, intensity and pressure to generate a different kind of orgasm.

    Instead of stimulating her g spot, go for her a spot, or insert a finger into her ass.

    Bear in mind some women become extremely sensitive after an orgasm and so if you have brought her off through clitoral stimulation then you might want to rethink your approach for the next one.

    It's very easy as a man to get hung up on number of orgasms, almost as though that is the most important thing. It's not, your lady friend would much prefer to have LESS orgasms but higher QUALITY orgasms

    I personally like to trigger several mini-orgasms through orgasm denial with little bursts of pressure and build up to a very large orgasm at the end that results in her shaking the bed through the intensity.

    It's very important to realise that whilst some women are capable of multiple orgasms, many are not. This is why the first orgasm is so important, keep things bubbling under the surface until she simply cannot take anymore and then bring her to one sensational, trembling orgasm.

    Communicate and listen to your partner after he orgasm and find out if she is sore, over-sensitive or wants to move onto other things, everything about good sex relies on communication, both verbal and non-verbal. Remember however - every woman is different and you should pay attention to what it is SHE desires.

    The ass

    Inserting a finger and playing inside her ass is a very good way to push a woman over the edge when she is on the brink of an orgasm. There is something exquisite about inserting a finger and seeing your woman go wild as a result. Licking the perineum also generates very pleasurable feelings.

    If anal play turns you both on then rimming her can also drive a woman wild. The most important thing is, it's all about communication, what she wants, what she desires and what she is enjoying.

    One last thing - if your lady masturbates WATCH her, you can glean a ton of tips as to what she likes purely from watching how she brings herself off :)

    1387212782
    Ste [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh shit my formatting....fixing...fixed...

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    jerrybean [sign in to see picture]
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    Very good, Ste.

    I must admit I get a great thrill bring my wife to orgasm through oral.

    I love how different you can make them with practise, from quickies through to orgasm denial with a big earth shattering grand finale, and everything in between!!!

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    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    Yay! You posted it. Very detailed guide with lots of good information and suggestions Ste. (Glad I could help too.)

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    Always Hot [sign in to see picture]
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    Very detailed guide - brilliant!! I am so lucky my oh is amazing when it comes to oral, to be honest he is amazing at everything he does to me in the bedroom!!! lol

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    capricorn13 [sign in to see picture]
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    Brilliant guide, Ste. I love that you keep stressing it is all about her.

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    c00kie [sign in to see picture]
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    This is great. I may have to get my OH to read this! :)

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    Sarah 77 [sign in to see picture]
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    This is brilliant, well done!

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    mnms [sign in to see picture]
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    IMO the phrases 'nectar' and 'eating' just make me gag. I hate the terms 'eating her out/eating pussy' I don't want to be chomped on!

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    Ste [sign in to see picture]
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    mnms wrote:

    IMO the phrases 'nectar' and 'eating' just make me gag. I hate the terms 'eating her out/eating pussy' I don't want to be chomped on!

    Sorry, I guess that's my male side getting out! I do get your point actually, but as I hope I highlight in the piece, even though those words may seem a little "hard", it's definitely not the intention :o)

    Thanks for all the comments, really appreciate it :)

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    [suspended user]

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    Great guide very well done!!! But I must say I also hate the phrase eating her out.

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    always-horny [sign in to see picture]
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    This is a must read for those guy's out there that think after 5 mins and a couple of slurpy licks we women should be grateful.

    Thankfully my OH is a master at going down on me, and treats my pussy like it is an alter to be worshipped.

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    Stuburns [sign in to see picture]
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    Waiting for the women's version for giving oral to your bloke?
    Think this works:
    1, just go down there, lick, suck, wank but don't bite and swallow the nectar. Not as long as for women but gives the same effect.
    Men, such simple creatures.

    1387480274
    Topcat07 [sign in to see picture]
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    Great guide thank you!

    Bit confused after what to do from this point though


    '
    Don't rush things, take your time and enjoy everything. Her clit will swell, she will be very wet (with lube if she lacks natural lubrication) and hopefully begging you to eat her some time after you start. You can choose to prolong her agony at this point or give her want she craves. '


    Anything to do particular with the clit?

    Not very experienced with this

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    Alastor [sign in to see picture]
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    Really good guide.

    Might I add something which you perhaps just omitted because it is said so often.

    Consistency. When you want to finally push her over the edge, or to ramp arousal up to the upper levels, don't vary the sensation you are giving her, and don't stop. Ok you can take the risk of adding the extras (anal penetration etc.), but keep going with what is already working, certainly in terms of rhythm and location.

    Obviously, others might disagree...but it is advice that has worked for me.

    Lastly: 'fewer' is a lovely word, people discarding it to misuse 'less' make me want to cry.

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    frockcat [sign in to see picture]
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    *sigh*

    One day maybe I will meet someone who knows how to do this.

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    MrsMcX [sign in to see picture]
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    This is a great guide, but I agree with others "eating pussy" makes me cringe so badly!!

    I know all women are different, but I personally don't really like a tongue in my vagina! I don't know why, I much prefer fingers. And no music! I get too distracted by outside sounds, I love hearing the sounds he makes, it heightens the whole experience.

    I also think you could maybe go into more detail about what to do with your tongue like someone has requested, maybe suggest some sucking also? I think maybe the finger in the butt and licking may be a sensitive subject too. Personally for me, I don't like anything back there unless I now I'm 110% clean! This might be a mood killer, so it might be good to include just some teasing with a finger around the area first to see if she responds well. If it was just sprung on me, even though we sometimes enjoy anal play, I think it would be a massive mood killer if I didn't feel fully confident that I was really really clean.

    I hope you don't think I'm being rude, I think it's a great guide, I just wanted to add my opinion. But as I say, what I like may be different, and I think the main thing people need to know is what you've suggested - taking things slow and looking out for key responses. It's really all just a big learning curve, but I think this guide has good coverage of most of the areas.

    Well done :)

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    Alastor [sign in to see picture]
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    frockcat wrote:

    *sigh*

    One day maybe I will meet someone who knows how to do this.

    But I am sure you will. You can always start training them. Lessons can be fun.

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    frockcat [sign in to see picture]
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    Alastor wrote:

    frockcat wrote:

    *sigh*

    One day maybe I will meet someone who knows how to do this.

    But I am sure you will. You can always start training them. Lessons can be fun.

    Well, yes. But I suppose part of it is what MrsMcX above here says: I don't really enjoy it that much. I think that for me a tongue is just too vague. The feeling is definitely more intense when someone fingers me. But I suppose it would be nice to find someone who has the patience and skills (or willingness to learn/experiment!). A combination of fingers/toys and tongue might work.

    When a partner in the past has gone down on me I've usually just gotten a bit bored after a while, even if it has felt nice enough. It's just never been a particularly overwhelming feeling nor a turn-on for me. I do however enjoy going down on a man, so go figure - LOL!

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    Gentle giant [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh Frock cat, such a shame. I am sure you will meet someone who will set you on fire. It is such an intimate act and when done well amazing for both. It has to be my most favourite way of pleasing my OH. To see and feel how she reacts to me pleasing her is wonderful. To feel her orgasm in this way truly wonderful. It is a massive turn on for me the scent and taste sometimes is all most enough for me to come. My wife tells me she never tires of me making love to her orally.

    However you are right it took us along time to workout what she really likes and how to get her to orgasm.She like you loves all the gentle licking and kissing but to finally get her to'O' she needs it firm and hard. This I achieve by forming an O with my lips over the clit.Pushing my head against her, pushing back the clitoral hood, then drawing out her clit by sucking. Once I have it out I flicking hard with a very stiff tip of my tongue. I Would never of done this as hard until my wife told me to do it.

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