• Everyones favorite topic...Orgasms!

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    SiobhanL [sign in to see picture]
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    Or lack of in my case..

    This makes me feel very incompetent by the way.

    Now do not get me wrong, i love sex as much as the next person and i love giving more than recieving but i can never seem to reach orgasm during sex an its bloody ridiculous. I have become amazing at faking but i hate it.

    I know im only 20yo but surely (unles medical) i should be able to have a natural thing such like an Orgasm.

    Any thoughts?

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    Sarah 77 [sign in to see picture]
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    Well I only had my first orgasm aged 28 with the use of a rabbit vibrator. I had come close many times with my OH's fingers stimulating my clitoris but not all the way. So I went and bought my first sex toy and BOOM!
    Needless to say I now have a box full of toys that me and OH use together. Have you tried toys?

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    SophieM [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi :)

    Firstly, there is nothing bad or 'strange' about never having an orgasm, I have heard of some women not having their first orgasm until in their 40's. You say you can't reach orgasm during sex...is this only with vaginal penetration though? Do you or your partner stimulate your clitoris? Most women can't orgasm just from penetration alone and need to have clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. If you wanted to try a toy then I would recommend a bullet vibrator to use on your clit during sex. http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/vibrators/bullet-vibrators/

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    Sum Sub [sign in to see picture]
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    We find that vibrating cock rings really help with this. They give the little rumble my OH needs to take sex from ohhh to OHYEAHHHH!

    We have this one http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=18919
    which is very simple but effective and entirely worth £8.

    There are many more to choose from.

    My OHs partners before me were not very Erm educated or experimental and I know from what she's told me that she never had a proper orgasm with any of them, and her opinion has changed in the years we've been together from something she does for her man to something she enjoys immensely. Indeed, I am jealous of her strong and intense and how frequent her orgasms are. The real key to this has been clitoral stimulation...

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    jerrybean [sign in to see picture]
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    SiobhanL wrote:

    Or lack of in my case..

    This makes me feel very incompetent by the way.

    Now do not get me wrong, i love sex as much as the next person and i love giving more than recieving but i can never seem to reach orgasm during sex an its bloody ridiculous. I have become amazing at faking but i hate it.

    I know im only 20yo but surely (unles medical) i should be able to have a natural thing such like an Orgasm.

    Any thoughts?

    Have you ever had an orgasm through masturbation either alone or as a couple?

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    Strange Days [sign in to see picture]
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    By a Wand. Simples. Impossible to resist, IMO.

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    SiobhanL [sign in to see picture]
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    I've had clitoral orgasms but not through penetrative sex. I like toys, but im also, to put it bluntly as tight as a ducks arse so i find it hard to relax.

    My "partners" were more intereste in them than me and my ex boyfriend just didnt care enough to even bother.

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    jerrybean [sign in to see picture]
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    My wife can't orgasm through just penetrative sex, so you are not alone.

    She does have very strong powerful orgasms through clitoral stimulation either with a toy, finger or my tongue. She has said she'd like to have one just through penetration to see if it feels different, but other wise she's happy as it is. We have tried all sorts of things to try and achieve this, but it hasn't happened.

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    dh [sign in to see picture]
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    Same here jerry. From what I have read and heard over the years; a woman that can easily orgasm through penetrative sex is a rarity; don't let porn or sex in movies make you believe otherwise. Siobhan; look on the bright side, at least you can orgasm through clitoral stimulation. Good luck for the future in finding a man who isn't only interested in his own pleaaure

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    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    I have reached clitoral orgasm through penetration alone, only twice in the many years I have been sexually active and both times were hard work, involving weird angles to ensure he was also hitting my clitoris. I can have g-spot orgasms from penetration, but I never know if these are the kind of orgasms that count in the studies done surrounding female orgasm during penetration. Anyway, I think its something like 70% of women cannot achieve orgasm through penetration alone.

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    GingerByNameFieryByNature [sign in to see picture]
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    Orgasms for me are really variable.

    I used to be able to have what I'd describe as more of a release than an orgam through peneration (g-spot) relatively easily but even then not only technique but also timing and my mood had to be right.

    I've had one clitoral orgasm through him fingering me and about a handful of 'proper orgasms' through sex including peneration but they're still a bit of a mystery seem to depend more on my hormones and how turned on I am even before sex is on the cards.

    I sadly can't seem to have orgasms on my own (I have a few toys now)- I think I'm just rather impatient with myself- it's the same during sex where foreplay is still required and still feels physically good but mentally I'm fed up.

    It's now been 8 months and a handful of partners since my last orgasm.

    My advice is be patient, try new things and don't worry about it.

    Personally I'm hoping that once I have a regular partner that I'm comfortable with things will get easier again as I think my problem is mental rather than physical- although I'll need to get my jiggle balls out and do some exercise or my muscles are going to be sore when I finally do cum!

    By the way has anyone else found that if they haven't had sex/cum in a while the next time they get close their muscles are really sore and so they can't cum?

    I think of it as like doing a full work out having not had any exercise in a while or a proper warm up.

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    PrincessPain [sign in to see picture]
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    I dude to have Orgasms, wonderful blissful Orgasms. Since surgery in June, I've had 1, individual orgasm. :( it's infuriating, and frustrating.

    What I did find the last time I did, which was last week, so it was a good few months between the Orgasms, my muscles, the Keegle ones I think they're called ?? We're still pulsating 5 mins afterwards. Was really odd lol. Not really sore, so much as throbbing.

    E x

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    PrincessPain [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 23 Nov 2012

    I dude to have Orgasms, wonderful blissful Orgasms. Since surgery in June, I've had 1, individual orgasm. :( it's infuriating, and frustrating.

    What I did find the last time I did, which was last week, so it was a good few months between the Orgasms, my muscles, the Keegle ones I think they're called ?? We're still pulsating 5 mins afterwards. Was really odd lol. Not really sore, so much as throbbing.

    E x

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    blonde vixen13 [sign in to see picture]
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    It's totally normal not to experience them! It took me about 6 years until I achieved my first orgasm and then it didn't happen again until I met my now partner. Now I have them all the time.

    I used to stress about it. I would feel myself get turned on and feel the sensations build up. So my head would start overthinking it and I would lay there thinking ... This is it, this is it !!! Then nothing!
    Don't stress, relax and it will happen at some point. It sometimes just takes the right person I get your relaxed enough, and someone you can fully let your self go with before it will happen:

    But in the mean time. Buy some toys and experiment with your body. Find out what you like, what turns you on. Once you know then you will be able to show other people. My advise would be to buy a wee vibe tango! It's my fav toy and works wonders x x

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