• How to Please Your Lady

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    KinkyKev [sign in to see picture]
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    My partner and I have been together for about 3 years now and we have a pretty active sex life, however more recently I feel like I am getting more pleasure from sex than her. Whenever we make love I always seem to climax before she does and this is worrying me a little. How can I make sure that she is receiving pleasure at the same time as me please? Whenever I am inside her I feel like she is gripping hold of me tightly and it makes me climax quicker than I anticipate. I'm not saying it is her fault at all as we are a couple but what can I do to make sure she is receiving pleasure when we are making love too?

    1386585826
    Kohitsuji [sign in to see picture]
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    I remember reading an article from Cosmopolitan's website (I think) about some tips to please a woman and one of them was extending the foreplay til she's on the brink and go inside here which will cause her to be over the moon :)

    I'll try to find the article atm.

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    Ste [sign in to see picture]
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    How much foreplay are you integrating? It's important for a woman to be aroused both mentally and physically before you think about penetration for her to derive maximum enjoyment.

    Soft lighting, aromatic candles, music, rose petals all contribute massively to ambience and atmosphere and will excite, relax and arouse your wife in equal measure.

    Concentrate on kissing all over her body (avoid her breasts and vagina to heighten anticipation), focus on oral techniques, massage her body and even integrating toys are all great ways to increase her pleasure levels.

    It's almost Christmas too - some sexy lingerie, a bodystocking or something similar can also go a long way to making your wife feel sexy whilst telling her you love her.

    Good luck :)

    1386608545
    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
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    Ste wrote:

    How much foreplay are you integrating? It's important for a woman to be aroused both mentally and physically before you think about penetration for her to derive maximum enjoyment.

    Soft lighting, aromatic candles, music, rose petals all contribute massively to ambience and atmosphere and will excite, relax and arouse your wife in equal measure.

    Concentrate on kissing all over her body (avoid her breasts and vagina to heighten anticipation), focus on oral techniques, massage her body and even integrating toys are all great ways to increase her pleasure levels.

    It's almost Christmas too - some sexy lingerie, a bodystocking or something similar can also go a long way to making your wife feel sexy whilst telling her you love her.

    Good luck :)

    +1 x10000!!!

    Foreplay is a great way of making sure she reaches full climax. In fact, getting her to reach climax before intercourse is a sure fire way of sharing pleasure.

    More importantly is the mental arousal. So many partners seem to forget the mental stimualtion which isn't just wanted but NEEDED by most women to reach orgasm.

    For example, if I'm not mentally aroused, there's no way that I'm even interested in foreplay, let alone sex. Personally I find nothing worse than someone just diving in and trying to make a move without getting any signals from their ladyfriend that that's what they want. If you do all the right 'prep' then she'll be the one making the moves, or at least giving you the green light to make the move yourself.

    Try talking to her about something, anything (it doesn't always have to be about sex or even lavish compliments - otherwise it can be a bit too obvious what your goal is which can be a total turn off.) Mental stimulation can be simply letting her talk, and you being a great listener, or telling her something about your day, or something you have an opinion on. Once she's clearly fired up (in a good way!) it's easy to move the conversation onto something a little more sexy.... if you do it 'right' then she'll be the one starting the foreplay!

    Also, find out what makes her feel sexy. Some women love to be pampered with lovey-dovey squishy compliments, where as others can't stand it. Other women enjoy dirty talk, while some find it a real turn off. The key to making her feel sexy is to talk to her about it - and listen. Find out what she likes you to call her and what sort of comments really crank her cogs - then use them!

    I know every woman is different, but I always find most satisfaction is found after hours of 'preparation', including talking, laughing, naughty looks, gentle touches, foreplay, and then eventually sex. Ideally, you should be flirting with one another. That's what's so fun when you meet someone new, but sadly it can quickly fade away when you become an 'official' couple / married and the expectation of sex is involved. Don't expect sex - flirt your way to it like you would if you just met!

    A partner could repeat the exact same foreplay and sex routine every time, touching each part of a woman's body in the same way for the same amount of time, and have zero results. Start that same routine with mental stimulation first and it's a complete game-changer. She'll be much more in the moment with you, and far less likely to be thinking about Christmas dinner! Thus, mega-shared-climax - Hooray!

    Have fun!

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    Stuburns [sign in to see picture]
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    Such complex creatures.
    All through nature you see it. Birds need great colours, a nice song, a bit of a dance. Monkeys need to be big and strong. (Although that also gets them all the women). Anyhow if you want some then get the work done :)

    1386609502
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    Everything Jess said!

    I would also just like to mention that only about 30% of women can reach orgasm from penetration alone. This makes sense, after all, most women reach orgasm from clitoral stimulation and during penetration, (and depending on the woman) her clitoris is only receiving some glancing strokes at best and at worst, it is not getting stimulated at all by the penis moving in and out. In other words, unlike for men, where sex is the big finale and ultimate in orgasmic pleasure, for women, sex is a whole lot less likely to produce orgasm, unless you involve some clitoral stimulation too. Fingers, vibrators etc, all can help your lady reach orgasm during penetration....

    but like Jess said, we need to be there, mentally (This really is super important) and when Jess said "Not just want it...NEED it" I was like...YES! exactly. For me, at least, foreplay IS sex. Getting into the right frame of mind, the kissing, flirting, touching, licking, sucking etc...THIS is what is most guaranteed to take me to orgasm.

    Jess is also 100% correct that all women are different...massage and candles can go either way for me. If I sense his excitement and its sensuous and slow and the moment is ripe with anticipation, then it can be the hottest thing ever. If I feel that the massage is just his way of pushing through to the good bits, or I sense he has one eye on the TV and such, then I just drift into relaxation mode and fall asleep, without so much as a spark of arousal (Again, it is all in the mind for us women...and the "mood" is important) but yeh, you need to ask your lady what really gets her in the mood and work on that, because we are truly different

    So that brings me to this: The best and most effective way to please your lover is to communicate. Find out what she needs and desires and run with it.

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    Sarah 77 [sign in to see picture]
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    Stuburns wrote:

    Such complex creatures.
    All through nature you see it. Birds need great colours, a nice song, a bit of a dance. Monkeys need to be big and strong. (Although that also gets them all the women). Anyhow if you want some then get the work done :)

    How very true Stubbins. Us females are extremely complex, we certainly don't make it easy for you guys. But the info above is spot on KK and if you take note of it and as StHubbins said, put the work in, you'll get results. Good luck
    1386609720
    Sarah 77 [sign in to see picture]
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    Fluffbags wrote:

    Everything Jess said!

    I would also just like to mention that only about 30% of women can reach orgasm from penetration alone. This makes sense, after all, most women reach orgasm from clitoral stimulation and during penetration, (and depending on the woman) her clitoris is only receiving some glancing strokes at best and at worst, it is not getting stimulated at all by the penis moving in and out. In other words, unlike for men, where sex is the big finale and ultimate in orgasmic pleasure, for women, sex is a whole lot less likely to produce orgasm, unless you involve some clitoral stimulation too. Fingers, vibrators etc, all can help your lady reach orgasm during penetration....

    but like Jess said, we need to be there, mentally (This really is super important) and when Jess said "Not just want it...NEED it" I was like...YES! exactly. For me, at least, foreplay IS sex. Getting into the right frame of mind, the kissing, flirting, touching, licking, sucking etc...THIS is what is most guaranteed to take me to orgasm.

    So that brings me to this: The best and most effective way to please your lover is to communicate. Find out what she needs and desires and run with it.

    Absolutely agree 1000% !
    1386668773
    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
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    Fluffbags wrote:

    Everything Jess said!

    I would also just like to mention that only about 30% of women can reach orgasm from penetration alone. This makes sense, after all, most women reach orgasm from clitoral stimulation and during penetration, (and depending on the woman) her clitoris is only receiving some glancing strokes at best and at worst, it is not getting stimulated at all by the penis moving in and out. In other words, unlike for men, where sex is the big finale and ultimate in orgasmic pleasure, for women, sex is a whole lot less likely to produce orgasm, unless you involve some clitoral stimulation too. Fingers, vibrators etc, all can help your lady reach orgasm during penetration....

    but like Jess said, we need to be there, mentally (This really is super important) and when Jess said "Not just want it...NEED it" I was like...YES! exactly. For me, at least, foreplay IS sex. Getting into the right frame of mind, the kissing, flirting, touching, licking, sucking etc...THIS is what is most guaranteed to take me to orgasm.

    Jess is also 100% correct that all women are different...massage and candles can go either way for me. If I sense his excitement and its sensuous and slow and the moment is ripe with anticipation, then it can be the hottest thing ever. If I feel that the massage is just his way of pushing through to the good bits, or I sense he has one eye on the TV and such, then I just drift into relaxation mode and fall asleep, without so much as a spark of arousal (Again, it is all in the mind for us women...and the "mood" is important) but yeh, you need to ask your lady what really gets her in the mood and work on that, because we are truly different

    So that brings me to this: The best and most effective way to please your lover is to communicate. Find out what she needs and desires and run with it.

    Absolutely! Communication is everything!

    1386758708
    jerrybean [sign in to see picture]
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    As said before, communication, trust, foreplay, foreplay & more foreplay !!!

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