• What's your cheating threshold

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    Cheating for me involves the addition of another party. The exception being a three some etc provided it is all done consensually. Not my cup of tea though.

    Toys for us are just sex aids to take our sexual relationship to a higher level .

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    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    I wouldn't class any of them as cheating - that's not to say some of them don't make me a little uncomfortable!

    My partner and I are old fashioned, he even finds the vagina strokers weird! I think if he were suddenly using sex dolls or fake vaginas modelled after particular people I'd have concerns, but wouldn't necessarily class it as cheating.

    He would feel the same if I was using a realistic dildo modelled after someone else, he's said before that the idea of that makes him uncomfortable. But the way I see it, I've got his penis and plenty of other sex toys should I want to use something, so for me there's no need to go down that route. :)

    Edit: Just seen your later post. If my partner owned a mould of an ex, then yes I'd make him get rid of it! Also, if they're using sex toys online with someone else, that's bringing in a 3rd party, so I'd class that as cheating. 

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    Ozzie Princess-Mary [sign in to see picture]
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    None of those sound like cheating - Even the mould of the ex.

    Using a RealTouch with someone else (I assume we're talking about an online friend, rather than a camgirl or similar) would count in my book, but again only if it was with someone who wasn't being paid.

    Honestly, I'd just be honest about it. I've got a cabinet full of sex toys in my bedroom, and my partner has always been fine with them, they're just part of the package. I'd run very, very fast away from a partner who wasn't happy about you masturbating, since that kind of control over someone else's sexuality falls a bit too close to trying to instill dependency to me. Sometimes you want sex, and sometimes you want a leisurely wank, and anyone telling you that when the former is available you shouldn't have the latter is doing something weird.

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    Lovebirds_x [sign in to see picture]
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    I personally wouldn't class anything involving just him and a sex toy as cheating. Nor do I count him watching porn alone cheating (though cam girls are a different story to me as they are fully interacting with you-thus cheating in my head unless I am there too!). It's a damaging thing to accuse someone of cheating because they are masturbating, whatever tools they use, as they are unlikely to understand that your problem lies with their choice of tool...they'll just come to think masturbation itself is cheating (which I know some people do believe, but not a view I share). I'd rather he fantasised about every porn star out there and owned every sex toy he could think of than have him go and do anything with another person.

    To me cheating must involve another person, whether that is talking online or outright doing the deed in person. I have a lot of silly limits with what I am uncomfortable with. But sex toys are thankfully not one for me :)

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    VirginAngel [sign in to see picture]
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    Honestly, since as far as i am aware there is currently no way to actually mould the inside of a vagina and its just a textured tube, even if the opening was modeled on a real womans vaginal opening i don't think i'd feel like he was in any way cheating. Should it become possible to make a mould of a real vaginal canal and it wasn't mine he was using, then i would start getting jealous. This is infact the reason i avoid realistic type dildos, as i would feel like i was doing something unfaithful if i was using a dildo that was made from a mould of a real man, hence why i go for glass or none realistic.

    Anything bought buy, used with, or modeled on an ex, even just external parts, or that was bought for an ex, even not used, would be an auto get rid of. I'm not really comfortable with porn watching, now and then viewing of soft core of nobody specific i could tolerate, but watching specific women or any kind of broadcasting his masturbation or watching live cams etc would be cheating to me.

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    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
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    Lovebirds_x wrote:

    I personally wouldn't class anything involving just him and a sex toy as cheating. Nor do I count him watching porn alone cheating (though cam girls are a different story to me as they are fully interacting with you-thus cheating in my head unless I am there too!). It's a damaging thing to accuse someone of cheating because they are masturbating, whatever tools they use, as they are unlikely to understand that your problem lies with their choice of tool...they'll just come to think masturbation itself is cheating (which I know some people do believe, but not a view I share). I'd rather he fantasised about every porn star out there and owned every sex toy he could think of than have him go and do anything with another person.

    To me cheating must involve another person, whether that is talking online or outright doing the deed in person. I have a lot of silly limits with what I am uncomfortable with. But sex toys are thankfully not one for me :)

    These are my views exactly! I might add that personally I find sex dolls a bit creepy and wouldn't be too thrilled about my husband using one !

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    slinkykinky [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree about the sex dolls, I have no issue with people having them, or my husband using toys, but I wouldn't be keen on him having a doll

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    Boogaloo [sign in to see picture]
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    VirginAngel wrote:

    This is infact the reason i avoid realistic type dildos, as i would feel like i was doing something unfaithful if i was using a dildo that was made from a mould of a real man, hence why i go for glass or none realistic.

    Anything bought buy, used with, or modeled on an ex, even just external parts, or that was bought for an ex, even not used, would be an auto get rid of. I'm not really comfortable with porn watching, now and then viewing of soft core of nobody specific i could tolerate, but watching specific women or any kind of broadcasting his masturbation or watching live cams etc would be cheating to me.

    I agree with you completely. I only use glass or non realistic dildos, not because I think realistic ones are cheating but there is something that feels unfaithful about using one. And there's plenty of other ways to masturbate anyway, with or without other toys :)

    I'm also uncomfortable with porn and would class cam girls as cheating. I know some people think that's extreme, but hey I'm old fashioned I guess. I really do feel like the minority these days, as many people seem to think you're uptight or controlling if you're not okay with porn, which to me feels very narrow minded. We all have our own limits and shouldn't be forced to accept something we're uncomfortable with, but I do think it's important to be able to reach a comprimise with your partner.

    I'm very lucky actually, because my parter finds porn tacky and a turn off, so we've never had to deal with problem. The way he puts it is "why would I want to look at other women/men when I've got you", which is exactly the same way I feel. However, when people learn this they are often really judgemental and jump at the chance to tell me that he's probably lying, because 'all men watch porn' etc, because how on earth would one man live without watching people have sex! That's what annoys me more than anything - it's such a ridiculous stereotype and people make me feel like I'm a bad person for not thinking that's okay.

    Anyway, that's my long story... I'm preparing myself to get slaughtered by the community now.. haha

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    DreamOfTheEndless [sign in to see picture]
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    What do people think about 'mentally cheating', like thinking about a third party during sex?

    I personally don't do it because I'm a pretty simple creature and the act of sex itself is easily enough of a turn-on that I don't really need to embellish it, boring as that sounds!, but it does kind of turn me on to think that she's fantasising about other scenarios or people while we do it. Although she doesn't like the thought of it being anyone from real life, if you're with me.

    Is that cheating? Or would it be if it was secret?

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    DreamOfTheEndless wrote:

    What do people think about 'mentally cheating', like thinking about a third party during sex?

    I personally don't do it because I'm a pretty simple creature and the act of sex itself is easily enough of a turn-on that I don't really need to embellish it, boring as that sounds!, but it does kind of turn me on to think that she's fantasising about other scenarios or people while we do it. Although she doesn't like the thought of it being anyone from real life, if you're with me.

    Is that cheating? Or would it be if it was secret?

    For me thats just fantasising . The rule of thumb we have is that you can look but not touch. The "touch" bit is were you go over the boundary .

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    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
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    I think if it's just in your mind then it's not cheating, just fantasising. I fantasise when masturbating and sometimes during sex too, don't know if hubby does cos he's not massively forthcoming when it comes to discussing sex but if he did then it wouldn't worry me. I do know that it turns him on a bit when he knows that I'm fantasising during sex, he likes to suggest senarios to me.

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    DreamOfTheEndless [sign in to see picture]
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    Yeah, so do I. I find as I get older and further into my relationship, I'm not nearly as possessive or jealous as I was when we first started. I get all the benefits of her being turned on so I'm really not bothered if it works for her!

    wildflower, if he's anything like most men, he's probably going through his favourite football team's squad numbers or trying to think about what needs done before the next MOT.;)

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    lustyjoy [sign in to see picture]
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    littlebox wrote:

    Anything that doesn't involve another person isn't cheating to me.. Especially none of those options.

    +1 although a rubber doll would raise my eyebrows and I'd have to ask wtf!
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    Chevysexy77 [sign in to see picture]
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    lustyjoy wrote:

    littlebox wrote:

    Anything that doesn't involve another person isn't cheating to me.. Especially none of those options.

    +1 although a rubber doll would raise my eyebrows and I'd have to ask wtf!

    God only knows, maybe for a stag do. Rubber dolls are so "off" for me... Unless it is for a laugh.

    Like that time we went out in Cardiff and a group on a stag night had a sheep doll, I admit I had to laugh...

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    TangledLover [sign in to see picture]
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    I wouldn't consider any of these cheating, we had drawers full of toy both realistic and non and neither of us have a problem with them. The key to it for me is communication, we discuss everything so if we were uncomfortable with anything we would just say so.

    If either of us felt the need to do something behind the others back then that would definitely raise alarm bells. As we discuss what we want openly we have never had an issue.

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    Jennylafay [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm in a very open realtionship and we play with others as well as our more kinky needs vary.

    So I would not be bothered by anything on that list, I would even find it sexy if he did anything from 4 to 10

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    fantasia fairy [sign in to see picture]
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    myghost wrote:

    to me as long as it's not another person i don't consider any of those options cheating though i would naturally have some concerns if he was more interested in using those options rather than the real thing

    +1

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    Briona87 [sign in to see picture]
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    I wouldn't be happy with anythig moulded on an ex, I would not exactly call that cheating, though, it would just feel a bit weird. And (for the same reason) I would not want to use any toys my partner used with his ex, either - I would just prefer for us to start afresh... (I guess I would simpy be a bit uncomfortable and kind of nervous should he bring anything related to his ex into a new relationship, probably because I have never had a partner myself - I would be rather worried that I am simply not "enough" and that because of my inadequacy he needs to go back to the (better) times he used to have with an ex...)

    I am not a fan of sex dolls (their eyes and faces look a bit creepy, I think) but I would not think anyone who uses them is cheating on their partners.

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    flaneur [sign in to see picture]
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    What a difference nearly a year and a half makes. I started this thread a year before I even got my doll and I've now done a radio show about using my doll. My philosophy on hiding sex toys hasn't changed though, I'd still strictly never tell another person who knows me in life about any of my toys. This thread has really confirmed that I shouldn't tell anyone about the doll and I'd be better off hiding all my toys from any girlfriend.

    @VirginAngel - It is kind of possible to make a mould of the inside of the vagina. http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14780 This is a 3D scan of the inside of a vagina, so you could say it isn't really a mould per se. But this is about as close as you get anyway.

    I keep a wishlist of all my previous purchases and I now have one matching nearly all the categories I put on my original post.

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