• Never Orgasming With A Partner

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    mnms [sign in to see picture]
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    Hello again all!

    Something that I'm now curious about after reading numerous threads of people discussing how they orgasm with their partner and how much they enjoy it, I was wondering if any ladies (or gents) have never actually orgasmed with a partner?

    I am into the double figures now with sexual partners and have never orgasmed through oral, fingers, sex, anything. I think I may have had a small orgasm once with an ex through him fingering my clit but still.

    I know I am capable of orgasming as I can do it alone with fingers or vibes. My current partner gets me so turned on and his oral is amazing, but I still can't get there. I think it may be a psychological thing on my part as I always like to please my man instead of myself.

    I'm going to introduce orgasm balms and vibes to see if it helps but I was curious as to whether anyone else is the same? Or whether anyone has any helpful tips?

    Thanks!

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    Imogen [sign in to see picture]
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    You're not alone, I have only ever achieved orgasm with vibes. Stimulation from a partner can feel great, but it has never felt like it's going to build into an orgasm for me even if I'm really turned on. So I'm afraid I have no tips, but I'll read what anyone else advises with interest!

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    hihowareyou [sign in to see picture]
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    have you tried using vibes at the same time as your OH. the vibe might be enough extra for it to happen

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    mnms [sign in to see picture]
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    hihowareyou wrote:

    have you tried using vibes at the same time as your OH. the vibe might be enough extra for it to happen

    I did use a bullet vibe with an ex but he wasn't very into using toys so it was a little awkward and didn't really help. But my current partner seems open to the idea so I think I will definitely try it again :)

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    hihowareyou [sign in to see picture]
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    mnms wrote:

    hihowareyou wrote:

    have you tried using vibes at the same time as your OH. the vibe might be enough extra for it to happen

    I did use a bullet vibe with an ex but he wasn't very into using toys so it was a little awkward and didn't really help. But my current partner seems open to the idea so I think I will definitely try it again :)

    thats good enjoy and relax

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    Purring-Pussy [sign in to see picture]
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    I have orgasmed orally or by fingers with guys, but never penetration. Sometimes I don't orgasm at all, but still enjoy the experience.

    From reading other forums, its quite common that ladies and some men don't orgasm with a partner.

    Good luck in finding something that works for you x

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    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
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    I also think that maybe it could be a bit of a psychological thing. You know that you can orgasm by yourself but maybe theres some mental block that stops you really letting yourself go when you're with someone else. You may have to be just a little bit selfish and concentrate on your own pleasure for a while. Have you tried thinking about stuff that you think about when you masturbate while you're having sex ? This might help if you can imagine that you're on your own and pleasuring yourself and you may be able to let go then.

    I find that clitoral stimulation nearly always necessary and using fingers or a bullet vibe during sex is a good idea.

    Hope this can help x

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    Citygirl2810 [sign in to see picture]
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    have you tried having a vibrator inserted whilst your oh stimulates your clit either with his fingers or his mouth? also if porn turns you on maybe watching porn at the same time?

    as wildflower says be selfish and make it all about your pleasure

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    Khaleesi [sign in to see picture]
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    mnms wrote:

    hihowareyou wrote:

    have you tried using vibes at the same time as your OH. the vibe might be enough extra for it to happen

    I did use a bullet vibe with an ex but he wasn't very into using toys so it was a little awkward and didn't really help. But my current partner seems open to the idea so I think I will definitely try it again :)

    This sounds like a great place to start. Don't beat yourself up about it, a lot of women can't. I never orgasmed during sex until I met my OH and I had to relax a lot to get there.

    You can try a couples vibrator like this http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22834

    or this http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=29469

    or cock rings too, this one is my favourite http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22186

    As I said please don't worry about it, and it sounds like your boyfriend is open to trying new things which is great! X

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    Poppicat [sign in to see picture]
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    I have only ever been able to cum alone using toys. I evjoy sex with partners but just never orgasm.

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    Laveila [sign in to see picture]
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    I am able to orgasm with a partner, but not from penetration alone. I need clitoral stimulation. I can orgams when given oral sex, but it took me time to get there. I would suggest trying to relax. And enjoy. Do not think about orgasm, just enjoy. I was just trully enjoying the sensation and bum. Suddenly orgasmed for the first time with partner.

    You can try a clitoral toy while having sex or one of the couple vibrators. it may help you to get the stimulation you need.

    You can try some balms, but I would not recommend them for oral sex, as I can imagine they may not be too comfortable for your partner. They tend to cause tickling sensations, which I would personally would not enjoy in my mouth.

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    jerrybean [sign in to see picture]
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    My wife has never orgasmed through penetrative sex alone, with me or any previous partners.

    However she does cum fairly easily with direct clitoral stimulation - quickest method is oral, then a vibe & finger the slowest method.

    She can cum during vaginal sex if she holds one of our little bullet vibes on her clitoris

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    mnms [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks for all your responses! There's some great advice here :)

    I think I will introduce a vibe next time we have sex and see how it goes, I also think that imagining I'm by myself is a great idea as usually I'm concentrating too hard on whether my partner is enjoying my body or on how I look! (especially during oral, there are no flattering angles when receiving oral!)

    I think I'm just gonna have to be a little selfish and just let go and see what happens! ;)

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    Ryuudoragon [sign in to see picture]
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    I relax my OH by doing a shed load of foreplay. Being gentle, caressing her whilst increasing her sexual tension and reading the signs. Her body movements speak volumes.

    I tease her with slow movements combining with other erotic areas (nipples, back etc). When she sits on top and controls the motion to get her G spot to rub against my bits, this works a treat!!

    I'm no stud or anything special but I absoulutely want it to be a two way street!!

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