• Unsure

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    AlaineB [sign in to see picture]
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    Well not sure if this is in the right place,

    I have a whole jump on my BF when he arrives at mine from work planned, as in meet him in the hallway in underwear and silk dressing gown... But just speaking to him and it has been really busy at work so should I hold off jumping on him when he arrives?

    Never done this before so unsure what to do...

    He normally comes in and just goes straight in to the living room and we don't normally have sex until the evening... Any advice please!!!!!

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    Ikey [sign in to see picture]
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    If he's busy and stressed out from work, then that's all the more reason to jump him!
    He wont be expecting it and I'm sure he'll show you how thankful he is to get some stress release as soon as he gets home.

    Trust me, there is nothing us guys love more than surprise sex when we're stressed.

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    Draven [sign in to see picture]
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    hmm tough one.

    If it was me, i would be fine with beig jumped on when i got home from work. :)

    How about, you get your self all dressed up, wait for him and then judge by his reactions. either jump his bones and go for it or lead him sexily to the bedroom, lay him down, give him a relaxing massege, back , shoulders, thighs etc. kiss him all over, get him all nice and chilled, before making love slowly and closely.

    something like that would make me very happy ; )

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    AlaineB [sign in to see picture]
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    Ikey wrote:

    If he's busy and stressed out from work, then that's all the more reason to jump him!
    He wont be expecting it and I'm sure he'll show you how thankful he is to get some stress release. ;)

    I hope so... I just know I'll be crushed if he says no offense but I don't feel like it,

    I have a higher sex drive and there's been many times when we've been kissing or cuddling and I've tried to take it further but he's just said no offense but I don't want to.... -_-

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    Scorpius12 [sign in to see picture]
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    Ikey wrote:

    If he's busy and stressed out from work, then that's all the more reason to jump him!
    He wont be expecting it and I'm sure he'll show you how thankful he is to get some stress release as soon as he gets home.

    Trust me, there is nothing us guys love more than surprise sex when we're stressed.

    Mr Scorpius totally agrees - lol xx

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    AlaineB [sign in to see picture]
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    I hope you guys are right... Being turned down for sex at 23 isn't good for me ego, and it's happened more than once... Hence my being unsure....

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    pr4wnst4r [sign in to see picture]
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    My boyfriend loves coming upstairs to find me waiting for him in underwear and heals and he's never turned down sex. I'd say go for it :) once he see's you've went to the effort (never mind how amazing you'll look) he won't be able to say no!

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    Ikey [sign in to see picture]
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    AlaineB wrote:

    I hope you guys are right... Being turned down for sex at 23 isn't good for me ego, and it's happened more than once... Hence my being unsure....

    I wouldn't worry about it too much, Me and my girlfriend (both 20) both have very high sex drives but there are just times when the mood simply isn't there. We've turned each other down on numerous occasions and we end up just cuddling on the sofa to a movie. Eventually after some snuggling and a little kissing, the mood is suddenly there.

    But when I come home after a stressful day and my girlfriend surprises me, I'm very appreciative! I will admit that occasionally it may take her a little teasing to get me completely willing, a little kinky whispering in my ear or biting my lip when I kiss her, things like that never fail and we always end up in the bed or on the hallway floor.

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    AlaineB [sign in to see picture]
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    pr4wnst4r wrote:

    My boyfriend loves coming upstairs to find me waiting for him in underwear and heals and he's never turned down sex. I'd say go for it :) once he see's you've went to the effort (never mind how amazing you'll look) he won't be able to say no!

    I hope so... a few days ago after the pub I quickly whipped off all my clothes in the bedroom bar my matching underwear and got turned down... sat there for like 1hour in my dressing gown drinking tea and chatted while he was fully dressed.... no sex happened that nigh :'(
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    pr4wnst4r [sign in to see picture]
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    AlaineB wrote:

    pr4wnst4r wrote:

    My boyfriend loves coming upstairs to find me waiting for him in underwear and heals and he's never turned down sex. I'd say go for it :) once he see's you've went to the effort (never mind how amazing you'll look) he won't be able to say no!

    I hope so... a few days ago after the pub I quickly whipped off all my clothes in the bedroom bar my matching underwear and got turned down... sat there for like 1hour in my dressing gown drinking tea and chatted while he was fully dressed.... no sex happened that nigh :'(

    When me and boyfriend started going out it was me who had the higher sex drive but we had sex so often his sex drive is now as high as mine, perfect ;). we normally do it once or twice a day now. I'd suggest talking to him about it and asking why he sometimes says no, he could just be tired all the time, stressed or maybe just has a low sex drive.

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    AlaineB [sign in to see picture]
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    pr4wnst4r wrote:

    AlaineB wrote:

    pr4wnst4r wrote:

    My boyfriend loves coming upstairs to find me waiting for him in underwear and heals and he's never turned down sex. I'd say go for it :) once he see's you've went to the effort (never mind how amazing you'll look) he won't be able to say no!

    I hope so... a few days ago after the pub I quickly whipped off all my clothes in the bedroom bar my matching underwear and got turned down... sat there for like 1hour in my dressing gown drinking tea and chatted while he was fully dressed.... no sex happened that nigh :'(

    When me and boyfriend started going out it was me who had the higher sex drive but we had sex so often his sex drive is now as high as mine, perfect ;). we normally do it once or twice a day now. I'd suggest talking to him about it and asking why he sometimes says no, he could just be tired all the time, stressed or maybe just has a low sex drive.

    I've tried. .. he says it's nothing to do with me he just isn't in the mood sometimes and a relationship isn't always about sex...
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    Ikey [sign in to see picture]
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    AlaineB wrote:

    pr4wnst4r wrote:

    My boyfriend loves coming upstairs to find me waiting for him in underwear and heals and he's never turned down sex. I'd say go for it :) once he see's you've went to the effort (never mind how amazing you'll look) he won't be able to say no!

    I hope so... a few days ago after the pub I quickly whipped off all my clothes in the bedroom bar my matching underwear and got turned down... sat there for like 1hour in my dressing gown drinking tea and chatted while he was fully dressed.... no sex happened that nigh :'(

    This is something I had to talk to my girlfriend about, She would take me to the bedroom once we got home and dump her clothes off to get me in the mood and that's usually a bad idea. Sit your man down on the bed and slowly undress to reveal your matching undies, Don't worry if you feel unconfident or shy while provocatively stripping, My girlfriend is very shy with that but as she sees my reaction, she gets more into it and by the time she's down to the underwear, I want nothing more than to get her onto the bed.

    Another bit of advice if you still get turned down is to simply talk to him. Have an honest open conversation to find out exactly why he can't get into the mood.

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    AlaineB [sign in to see picture]
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    Ikey wrote:

    AlaineB wrote:

    pr4wnst4r wrote:

    My boyfriend loves coming upstairs to find me waiting for him in underwear and heals and he's never turned down sex. I'd say go for it :) once he see's you've went to the effort (never mind how amazing you'll look) he won't be able to say no!

    I hope so... a few days ago after the pub I quickly whipped off all my clothes in the bedroom bar my matching underwear and got turned down... sat there for like 1hour in my dressing gown drinking tea and chatted while he was fully dressed.... no sex happened that nigh :'(

    This is something I had to talk to my girlfriend about, She would take me to the bedroom once we got home and dump her clothes off to get me in the mood and that's usually a bad idea. Sit your man down on the bed and slowly undress to reveal your matching undies, Don't worry if you feel unconfident or shy while provocatively stripping, My girlfriend is very shy with that but as she sees my reaction, she gets more into it and by the time she's down to the underwear, I want nothing more than to get her onto the bed.

    Another bit of advice if you still get turned down is to simply talk to him. Have an honest open conversation to find out exactly why he can't get into the mood.

    When I dumped my clothes he was in the living room... I didn't just strip off quickly like a randy teenager... and as I said above he normally just says he isn't in the mood but no reason why
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    Citygirl2810 [sign in to see picture]
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    Draven wrote:

    hmm tough one.

    If it was me, i would be fine with beig jumped on when i got home from work. :)

    How about, you get your self all dressed up, wait for him and then judge by his reactions. either jump his bones and go for it or lead him sexily to the bedroom, lay him down, give him a relaxing massege, back , shoulders, thighs etc. kiss him all over, get him all nice and chilled, before making love slowly and closely.

    something like that would make me very happy ; )

    I'd definately recommend this approach- sometime my work is mega stressful and a massage would be far more welcome as a way to relax prior to the main activities.

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    pr4wnst4r [sign in to see picture]
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    AlaineB wrote:

    pr4wnst4r wrote:

    AlaineB wrote:

    pr4wnst4r wrote:

    My boyfriend loves coming upstairs to find me waiting for him in underwear and heals and he's never turned down sex. I'd say go for it :) once he see's you've went to the effort (never mind how amazing you'll look) he won't be able to say no!

    I hope so... a few days ago after the pub I quickly whipped off all my clothes in the bedroom bar my matching underwear and got turned down... sat there for like 1hour in my dressing gown drinking tea and chatted while he was fully dressed.... no sex happened that nigh :'(

    When me and boyfriend started going out it was me who had the higher sex drive but we had sex so often his sex drive is now as high as mine, perfect ;). we normally do it once or twice a day now. I'd suggest talking to him about it and asking why he sometimes says no, he could just be tired all the time, stressed or maybe just has a low sex drive.

    I've tried. .. he says it's nothing to do with me he just isn't in the mood sometimes and a relationship isn't always about sex...

    I don't know then :( If you've tried speaking to him and thats all he says then I'm not sure what to advise. I'm sure the lovely people here will have some good advice though :)

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    MissChar [sign in to see picture]
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    Sounds like despite the advice your rather unsure still. Implies to me by what you said that there may be an underlying issue causing this. Maybe he doesn't want to say the reason his sex drive is low lately? They really can fluctuate though, could be stress at work, money troubles, literally anything. If I am worried about any one tiny thing it's all I can think about and I super struggle to get aroused - all I want is cuddles! My man has been the same when stressed at work and emotionally and physically drained. We have gone a month once or twice with no sex just because the feeling isn't there for one of us. Lead him sexily into the bedroom if he doesn't want to be jumped and listen about his day etc. this is the best therapy :) and can sometimes lead to more! Xx

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    YoungEssexCouple [sign in to see picture]
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    From a guys perspective, I don't particularly know how I'd feel if I was suddenly pounced on whilst stressed. Admittedly I'd probably go through with it however the likely hood of me being able to perform particularly well would be exceedingly low.

    I'd much prefer a cuddle, told to sit on the sofa, drink to be given and then little chat to relax. Maybe move onto a massage, let your hands wander and see where it leads.

    of course you could be wearing a dressing gown over some nice undies that you could reveal if you make it to the bedroom. That way if he does decline you haven't given yourself a reason to feel shot down.

    Good luck, I hope it goes well for you.

    And don't worry about the lack or sex drive, a few years back we went for about 6 months without sex as we both lost all drive, however things change.

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    LilMissMardyBum [sign in to see picture]
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    when my partner as a tough day at work and i know hes stressed and not feeling sex,i usually hold off the jumping on him ,i have some nice dinner waiting for him ,i then go and run him a nice bath to relax and after give him a whole of body massage, just to ease some of the days stress also to make him feel loved and pampered, i think sometimes men need a good pamper session like us women, and to know that if he needs a bit of a cuddle or love he wont have any pressue on him to have sex with me and i wont jump on him sure is hard not jumping on him but the worse thing to do so that time its just about me and him chilling and having that bit of quality time and maybe a good chat about our days :) xxx

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    blonde vixen13 [sign in to see picture]
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    If my oh is stressed the best thing to sort his head out is sex! He loves to be jumped as he walks in the front door!

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    menyanthe [sign in to see picture]
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    AB, I am like you - I have a much higher sex drive than he does. And often he says no to sex, just because he would simply prefer to sleep. But whenever I dress up and surprise him after work, he easily gets in the mood and has almost never turned me down.

    Unfortunately, he is now coming back home every time with our daughter, so this strategy is off the question for me.

    But I would advise you to go for it! :)

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