• How do fellow parents of teenagers manage to have a decent sex lives?

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    mrs average [sign in to see picture]
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    We've never allowed the kids to wander into our bedroom and not been in our bed past the age of about one.
    We've always taught them to knock and we have a small brass bolt on our side of the door just in case. our kids are 9 and 12 and in order to get the to respect our privacy we respect theirs by knocking on their door before going in too.
    We also have strict bed times even in school holidays but say the can read or listed to music before going to sleep.
    Also when I'm not working saturday mornings are sexy time for us. the kids go straight downstairs get their own breakfast and watch cartoons or go on the computer, so pretty much leave us alone for a good couple of hours.

    1382695364
    Citygirl2810 [sign in to see picture]
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    mrs average wrote:

    We've never allowed the kids to wander into our bedroom and not been in our bed past the age of about one.
    We've always taught them to knock and we have a small brass bolt on our side of the door just in case. our kids are 9 and 12 and in order to get the to respect our privacy we respect theirs by knocking on their door before going in too.
    We also have strict bed times even in school holidays but say the can read or listed to music before going to sleep.
    Also when I'm not working saturday mornings are sexy time for us. the kids go straight downstairs get their own breakfast and watch cartoons or go on the computer, so pretty much leave us alone for a good couple of hours.

    wish we had been stricter from day 1 - i catch my daughter and her friends jumping on our bed (6), next doors kids in our en suite. and our nearly 15 year old thinks nothing of crawling onto our bed at 11 pm for a chat. its nice because we have obviously brought them up to be comfortable around us etc. but i definately need to start laying down some boundaries. or maybe even just saying to 15 year old dont come in if the door is closed!

    1382698782
    Curly Wurly [sign in to see picture]
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    I never noticed my mum and dad having sex besides once or twice, they probably couldn't be bothered after they had taken care of 4 kids and 3 jobs between them!

    If I have kids I would probably try to be very open with them about it, so they can get comfortable around the idea of sex. Otherwise they would probably grow up and be embarrased by it like I was before a friend introduced me to Cosmo magazine ;)

    I'm a big reader and have a good few books on sex and other sexually related areas (thing like Vagina by Naomi Woolf) so i'll keep them on the shelf and encourage them to become readers :D

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    greeny [sign in to see picture]
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    We struggle to get private time, having our son(21) his wife (20) their son (3) and our daughter (24) all living with us and their rooms are both next to ours makes it difficult. they cant seem to get the hint when we say we want the house to ourselves especially the daughter who never goes out!!!!

    We have resorted to taking time off work so we can have decent sex

    1382956202
    Hampshire Hogg [sign in to see picture]
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    mrs average wrote:

    We've never allowed the kids to wander into our bedroom and not been in our bed past the age of about one.
    We've always taught them to knock and we have a small brass bolt on our side of the door just in case. our kids are 9 and 12 and in order to get the to respect our privacy we respect theirs by knocking on their door before going in too.
    We also have strict bed times even in school holidays but say the can read or listed to music before going to sleep.
    Also when I'm not working saturday mornings are sexy time for us. the kids go straight downstairs get their own breakfast and watch cartoons or go on the computer, so pretty much leave us alone for a good couple of hours.

    I fully agree good ground rules work wonders and there should be respect on both sides, I always knock before entering my teenage sons bedrooms.

    One of my boys did walk in to our bedroom once without knocking, I don't think he will do it again!

    As our teenage boys are typical teenagers, we find that morning is the best time as they are usually asleep, although we do get the occasional complaint about the noise!

    1384957279
    Sarah 77 [sign in to see picture]
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    I was going to write a new post about this but saw this so........

    Our kids are 16, 14 and 10 and I was going to complain about our lack of privacy but reading your posts, I realise how much privacy me and hubby actually do get.
    We have never allowed our children to walk into our bedroom whenever they want, right from dot they've had to knock. They've never even been in our bed as babies either, even if they were ill. They wouldn't dare just walk in our room, it's been a no go area for them since forever. The only time they do come in is if it's either mine or hubby's birthday or mothers day/fathers day where we all sit together on our bed giving cards and gifts and having a brew!

    Hubby works nights Mon to Fri and comes to bed at 5am, he has a play with me then (which I love) and if it's a Sat morning when he's coming to bed, he knows he can wake me for full blown sex.

    As he gets up late morning during the week and the kids are at school/college, we get time then too. Weekends are hard work because our two daughters stay up late watching telly with us and if we sneak upstairs in the afternoon, our 14 year old goes all moody, like it really annoys her when we're close. She seems to get jealous! Anyone else experience that?

    1384966276
    Toy Lover [sign in to see picture]
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    It is bad. On holiday we have even had to resort to getting up at 7am in order to row to a deserted Croatian island in order to make love. It was fabulous though, and the skinny dip in the Crystal clear Adriatic afterwards was also memorable.

    1384967972
    FrumCouple [sign in to see picture]
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    Growing up our parents used to have their bedroom door locked on some nights and unlocked at others. As a kid I never thought anything of it but we just knew if the door is locked we only knock if it was something important.

    1384968538
    Lovehoney - Nicole [sign in to see picture]
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    Toy Lover wrote:

    It is bad. On holiday we have even had to resort to getting up at 7am in order to row to a deserted Croatian island in order to make love. It was fabulous though, and the skinny dip in the Crystal clear Adriatic afterwards was also memorable.

    :O

    That's extreme!!

    1384971214
    Laveila [sign in to see picture]
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    Me and my sister would never enter our parents bedroom without knocking first and then would not enter unless being told so. The only exception would be a real emergency. Then I did knock and if there was no reply, I would try again and then enter. I think all kids should be like that.
    But I have to admit I heard my parents having sex many times when I could not sleep.

    1401794474
    geebee [sign in to see picture]
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    Sorry to bring up an old thread, but my partner and i are moving in together soon, and i was wondering about privacy.

    Over the last few months, my partners kids have been disrespecting our privacy. They have been asked numerous times to stay out of the en-suite, but every night when he goes up to bed one of the kids has been in there.

    On another occasion, we were sorting out a storage cupboard, and found bottles of lube and a bullet vibrator in there. These had come out of the one drawer i have at his. We asked the 13 and 12 yr old if they had been in there, both said no. Which means its the 7yr old. I feel 'odd' as i have underwear in that drawer.

    On top of that, the 12yr old will still wake at night and want to sleep in his dads bed, never when im there but at least once a week, he sleeps in his dads bed. I then dont feel like doing anything sexual after knowing he has slept in the bed until ive changed the covers. It just doesnt feel right. However if i stay longer for a week lets say he never askes to come in the bed, so i think it might be an insecurity feel and trying to be closer to dad. This is something im trying to help them both with and trying to make Dad spend more time with 12yr old so he doesnt feel left out, and i will still go up and say goodnight to him.

    We do at the moment get time for ourselves, normally about midnight, if the kids are still awake and they hear, well tough. Otherwise its the mornings, sometimes the 7yr old will try and barge in, but the door is always locked and usually his dad saying give me 10mins is enough for his older sister 13yrs to stear him away.

    We know its going to get harder when i move in as i have 4 children myself so we will have 13 (g) 12 (b) 10 (b) 9 (g) 7 (b) 7 (b) and 5 (b), so lots of variety in ages. His children visit their mum every other week and mine visit their dads every weekend, so on one hand we get free time, but the eldest is no longer wanting to go to her mums. I have a very honest relationship with her, and would say we need so adult time can you get an early night or put you ipod on, but i dont think my partner would like it.

    I really need to work out how to stop the kids going in the master bedroom, and rumaging through drawers, without having to resort to locking the door from the outside. It can be wonderful, we live in a small village, the kids go out to play when the suns out and dont come back till they are hungry but i wouldnt want to get down to it during the day incase. We can and do only use the bedroom for sex as you never know when the kids will wonder downstairs past 10pm.

    I think its going to be a huge learning curve finding time with 7 kids, but i hope we can find some time, otherwise ill just have to keep buying from here and make the most of the kids being at school all day.

    Reading this thread has at least given me some ideas and at least we arent alone with kids being kids. we must have all had our heads in the sand with regards to our parents having a sex life and never thought about them needing time.

    Geebee

    1401795345
    foxache [sign in to see picture]
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    Wow! That's a helluva situation you're in there! On one hand all of the kids have to learn about respect and boundaries but I can appreciate them also feeling a bit unsettled with the new situation. Unfortunately there's no magic wand to wave because no two kids are the same but I wish you all the best in resolving it ☺

    1401799671
    pinkanimal [sign in to see picture]
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    my sons 13 and im well aware our bed backs onto the wall thats part his room too :/

    and my daughters 7 and her room is right next door.

    she did walk in once while hubby was ramming me from behind

    not good, he shoved me face first into the bed lol and pretended we were cuddling!

    and theyve also walked in on early morning weekend sex too!

    1401811944
    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
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    We always instilled in our kids, as soon as they were old enough to understand that if our bedroom door was shut they always had to knock first. Once I did forget to shut the door properly and my daughter who was about 11 at the time walked in and caught me and my hubby looking at a new sex toy we'd just bought. I quickly shoved it under the duvet, don't know whether she actually saw what it was but it was never mentioned !
    It is hard to maintain a decent sex life with teenagers in the house, its the constantly having to be quiet in case you're overheard thats the most annoying bit.Our youngest is still living at home ( in his early 20's ) because of lack of regular employment and money, not his fault and I don't begrudge him but I long for the day when we can have sex whenever and where ever we want . Can't even indulge in spanking very often because it generates too much noise and our walls are paper thin !

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    growler37293 [sign in to see picture]
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    one of the best ways that myself and my wife have found found for an avtive sex life with three teenagers in the house is to make it so that we both go in the shower tohether that way we have plenty of time for foreplay and sex plus theres no need for lube as the shower is on and it does mask some of the noise as well on the down side it does tend to ruin non waterproof toys etc as you soon find out just how waterproof they really are other than that its a case of trying to find time during the day or late at night which is harder unless its past m

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    LilHorror [sign in to see picture]
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    Well being a teenager (18, though i know that a little diffrent from being 15) I would tell him that after a certain time at night he is not to allowed in your room without a very good reason. If he objects then prehaps your partner should have a "man to man" (If your partner is a man that is) chat to him about it just explaining that you and your partner needs personal time and that he needs to respect that and if he could at the very least knock first? Or even get a lock for your door and headphones for your son everyone wins lol :) xx

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