• Orgasm - what is it like?

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    menyanthe [sign in to see picture]
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    Well, I am not sure if I have ever experienced orgasm and I am not sure what it should feel like.

    During clitoral stimulation, the tension builds up and at some point it becomes so unbearable that I couldn't even force myself to continue. However, what I have read about the orgasm, suggests the tension should be released. I never get that.

    During internal stimulation (with toys (either vibrating or not), sex, fingers), I get some pleasant feelings, which sometimes are very exciting, but nothing "shaking" and mind-blowing, so to speak.

    Am I doing something wrong?

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    Citygirl2810 [sign in to see picture]
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    for me only clitorial stimulation leads to orgasm = however i do get the massive build up of tension which gets to such a point like a volcano errupting , i start shaking etc and then the tension is released.

    im thinking about trying this as the reviews are amazing http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=20464

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    menyanthe [sign in to see picture]
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    I have this one: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22097 and I can say it is great (although I never release the tension), but very noisy.

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    MissTig [sign in to see picture]
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    When you say almost unbearable do you mean painful? If so maybe you need a a little less direct/powerful vibration. You could try something a little more gentle like this: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22122 add some lube, relax, take your time and see what happens.

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    HappilyExperimenting [sign in to see picture]
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    menyanthe wrote:

    I have this one: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22097 and I can say it is great (although I never release the tension), but very noisy.

    How about experimenting with different textures? You say you can never release the tension that builds up, so maybe you need to not build up tension, but arousal (very powerful vibrators like the mini magic wand build up a lot of tension which coils like a spring then it's impossible to let go). Have you ever thought of trying different-feeling toys like:

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=27458 - Very soft and squidgy, like a marshmallow!

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=21349 - Use it for clitoral stimulation with your fav lube.

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28040 - The ridges on this egg look interesting, and it's made from skin-safe plastic!

    I think your best bet is have a shop around and experiment with different types of stimulation - but also if you've never had an orgasm using just your fingers I've give that a shot too. Always use lube!

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    menyanthe [sign in to see picture]
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    Actually, when my OH has stimulated me with his fingers - I still get to the point where it becomes unbearable. I wouldn't call it pain exactly, but it borders with pain. But we have not used lube (unless my own juices count).

    I have tried stimulating myself with the ridges of this dildo: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=21487

    But it is just too uncomfortable to use for this purpose and I usually give up before I have achieved much.

    I currently ordered an orgasm balm and will try with that first and some milder stimulation to see how it will work for me.

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    TheRunaway [sign in to see picture]
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    OP, I have the same issue, and it's not for lack of trying as I masturbate regularly. I often take a long time and then I reach a point where I'm worked up and it feels over but I doubt that counts as an orgasm as it's more a plateau. There is a sense of satisfaction as well as frustration but by that point I'm pretty tired and and don't feel like "pushing through" to achieve anything else. I have tried vibrators and some stimulating balms but they help with the duration and not the end.

    I never climaxed with a partner either, so I've always accepted that's just me, but it doesn't mean I haven't tried to find a way.

    I do think that pleasure throughout is the most important thing and it's not all about the orgasm but I'd like to have one occasionally.

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    menyanthe [sign in to see picture]
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    TheRunaway, I agree with you - I like sex, I like playing with toys, despite that, but it still - it would have been nice to have at least felt what it is like.

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    Kinky&Curvy [sign in to see picture]
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    I think the best way to describe a clitoral orgasm is it's like a pulsating feeling, your muscles relax and contract and then you just feel really relaxed... My first orgasm was with a rocks off bullet .

    My issue was I was too sensative so I couldn't achieve an orgasm, I still can't with my OH because even when he tries not to be hes still rather rough.

    The bullet gives pin point stim because of its pointed end but if your rather sensative the mini magic bodywand is really good too

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=10157

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=14764

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22192

    From what you've said when it borders 'painful' you sound like I was and still am with my OH really sensative the only way to reduce this is to get used to toys such as bullets, I find my OH can now touch me (when before he couldn't, it was that bad) but we still haven't been able to orgasm through clitoral stim, I can only do that by myself xx

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    menyanthe [sign in to see picture]
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    Kinky&Curvy, that does sound optimistic. I have never tried a bullet - only eggs. Is the feel different?

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    Kinky&Curvy [sign in to see picture]
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    By eggs do you mean kegel balls or vibrating eggs ??

    I've never actually used a vibrating egg myself and I have used kegel balls which their main purpose is to strengthen your vaginal muscles. The idea is that your orgasm will be stronger and more intense.

    Personally I know they do work to help strengthen your muscles so therefore they should give you a better orgasm but I haven't used my kegel balls recently so I can't say for sure wether my orgasms have become more intense.

    The bullet is great getting that 'perfect spot'. It may not be exactly on your clit that needs to be stimulated, maybe around the clitoris instead (which is what i do as I'm rather sensative) and because of the pointed tip it's perfect for doing just that.

    I really would reccomend a bullet they work like a charm once you get used to them, just don't be upset if they don't work first time. Being sensative it does take time to get used to the sensation but it'll be worth it in the end :) xx

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    blonde vixen13 [sign in to see picture]
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    I used to be like you. Got the build up, then my clit would become overly sensitive and I had to stop. I found using lube definitely helped but I also found just relaxing and forgetting about searching for that big O was the main thing that helped me actually tip over the edge. Now I always have multiple orgasms each time we have sexy time.

    The problem for me was that every time I got to that point where I felt it build up I started to think " this is it!" So I concentrated on it too much and it just would not happen x

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    menyanthe [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you K&C and BV! I will definitely try your tips! :)

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    jerrybean [sign in to see picture]
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    My wife has great clitoral orgasm via toys, fingers or my tongue.

    ​But she has never cum from penetrative sex alone. She says it would be nice to experience one this way, but is quite happy the way things are.

    ​Just shows that we are all different & experience things / sensations differently.

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    myghost [sign in to see picture]
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    i have no problems acheiving clitoral orgasms and i liken them to blowing up a stick of dynamite when you get near to the orgasm the touch paper lights and the feelings get stronger and stronger till the dynamite explodes and all the tension is released my favourite toy that always guarantees an orgasm is a Hummer

    you could try
    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=21149
    or
    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=27231

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    Always Hot [sign in to see picture]
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    Citygirl2810 wrote:

    for me only clitorial stimulation leads to orgasm = however i do get the massive build up of tension which gets to such a point like a volcano errupting , i start shaking etc and then the tension is released.

    im thinking about trying this as the reviews are amazing http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=20464

    I am same citygirl just like a volcano, ground shaking when done properly and usually when I start to stimulate myself I keep going for a while and will have at least 4-5 orgasms it is like an addiction!! lol my vibrator always does the job but my oh recently got us this from lh http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22186 and it is amazing to play with even on my own. Obviously better when used with oh but not always possible. Must admit though I find the best orgasms I have are with him when having sex and he stimulates me. Keep trying menyanthe so worth it, you will find what works for you eventually

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    jennyb [sign in to see picture]
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    Citygirl2 get a wand you won't regret it I am in love with mine read my review best money I've ever spent !!!!!!! 😊

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    Always Hot [sign in to see picture]
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    jennyb wrote:

    Citygirl2 get a wand you won't regret it I am in love with mine read my review best money I've ever spent !!!!!!! 😊

    jennyb what is a wand? can you put a link for me? xx

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    blonde vixen13 [sign in to see picture]
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    Always hot..... Here you go
    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=20464

    Best money you will ever spend

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    menyanthe [sign in to see picture]
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    I have just added some of the stuff to my wishlist for later. Thank you guys!

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