How inventive are you?

Eeerrr let me think...

Banana, carrot, cucumbers :-) , corn on the cob :-)

Wine bottle necks, Diamond white cider bottle necks, the hoover thing.

Mobile phone on vibrate and once even straddled the gear knob of my hubbys Gti...hahahaha

I've errr, heard that using a nice juicy water melon can be quite fun for a guy if you're stuck for anywhere alse to put it.

Cut hole in the side, nice texture, VERY wet and juicy ......... phew!

Hello HottyBotty and welcome!

SG69

Thanks SG. It's a pleasure to be here. I hope it's going to be fun.

I'm sure you will love it HB!

sg69

Wow, thanks Nexas. It really is nice to be made so welcome!

When I was at school I would spend much longer rope climbing in PE lessons than I was supposed to-and I can absolutely recommend it.
And at home it was the carpet in my bedroom. I don't think I'd be as flexible these days, I could manage the rope climbing still though I think.

There was a boy at my school who used a Timotei bottle, got himself stuck and had to go to A&E to be cut out. And then the daft sod told his best friend, who naturally shared it with the rest of the school.

MmeKitty wrote:

When I was at school I would spend much longer rope climbing in PE lessons than I was supposed to-and I can absolutely recommend it.
And at home it was the carpet in my bedroom. I don't think I'd be as flexible these days, I could manage the rope climbing still though I think.

There was a boy at my school who used a Timotei bottle, got himself stuck and had to go to A&E to be cut out. And then the daft sod told his best friend, who naturally shared it with the rest of the school.

Now if his mother had bought Vosene this wouldn't have happened!

SG69 x

Got a new one to add to my list. Used a beer bottle on holiday, up my ass of course. Lowered myself onto it. Only thing is, it wasn't empty and being a bit tipsy, after i'd cleaned myself up i walked passed it and without thinking just grabbed it and drank from it  

sexytime wrote:

Got a new one to add to my list. Used a beer bottle on holiday, up my ass of course. Lowered myself onto it. Only thing is, it wasn't empty and being a bit tipsy, after i'd cleaned myself up i walked passed it and without thinking just grabbed it and drank from it  

OMG, that's so hilarious! 

ouch.... ive tried removing that out of my memory!!!

Nexas wrote:

sexytime wrote:

Got a new one to add to my list. Used a beer bottle on holiday, up my ass of course. Lowered myself onto it. Only thing is, it wasn't empty and being a bit tipsy, after i'd cleaned myself up i walked passed it and without thinking just grabbed it and drank from it  

Wow...just wow LOL

Anyone seen one guy one jar? That's all I could think of here :-\

OMG i just watched it! That's some painfull shit! glad i only tried a strong bottle, and only the neck!!

I actually went out n bought a glass toy early this morning (sorry to betray you LH) and I haven't put my clothes back on since!!

yeah - horrible eh?

I've tried bottles up the bum, melon, even tried giving myself an enema with an oil suction gun!  To be honest though - none of which are as good as having sex with the wife. :)

Ladiesman, I hope you're not offended by this but everytime I see your avatar photo it makes me feel very , very nauseous - I realise it's entirely my problem that I have a problem with food used in this way but I am really quite phobic about it. 

It is really upsetting me and stopping me logging in because there's no way for me to block your picture.

Some people are freaked out by balloons or spiders, with me it's food play, luckily it's normally simple to avoid but all this talk of "sploshing" ( I knew it existed but not the terminology)  has affected me.    It's hard enough for me to see a child with a messy face unintentionally but for adults to choose to make a mess with food , it seriously freaks me out!

Sorry,  but I hope you understand that's it's seriously affecting my use of the forums.

Lady Lara wrote:

Ladiesman, I hope you're not offended by this but everytime I see your avatar photo it makes me feel very , very nauseous - I realise it's entirely my problem that I have a problem with food used in this way but I am really quite phobic about it. 

It is really upsetting me and stopping me logging in because there's no way for me to block your picture.

Some people are freaked out by balloons or spiders, with me it's food play, luckily it's normally simple to avoid but all this talk of "sploshing" ( I knew it existed but not the terminology)  has affected me.    It's hard enough for me to see a child with a messy face unintentionally but for adults to choose to make a mess with food , it seriously freaks me out!

Sorry,  but I hope you understand that's it's seriously affecting my use of the forums.

I just wanted to say that I really admire the way you phrased this Lady Lara - you acknowledged your responsibility for your feelings, acknowledged no harmful intent on the part of the other person, and expresed yourself in terms of your feelings and your responses as separate from the other person.  Personally I consider your message to be entirely respectful whilst at the same time expressing your needs clearly.

I think this kind of phrasing represents a world of difference in the best possible way to the way you used to express yourself when you first joined these forums.

I hope you can accept my admiration in the way I intended it?  Thank you for trying, I really think they're paying off, and I really think more than just me will appreciate your efforts.

Best regards,

Lubyanka.  :)

ps:  I also wanted to say to Ladiesman that whilst my response to your avatar is nowhere near as profoundly felt as Lady Lara's, I have had some kind of slightly unpleasant feelings about it myself.  Personally, I wouldn't ask you to change it just for me, but I thought it would be helpful both to you and Lady Lara if I added this.

Lady Lara wrote:

Ladiesman, I hope you're not offended by this but everytime I see your avatar photo it makes me feel very , very nauseous - I realise it's entirely my problem that I have a problem with food used in this way but I am really quite phobic about it. 

It is really upsetting me and stopping me logging in because there's no way for me to block your picture.

Some people are freaked out by balloons or spiders, with me it's food play, luckily it's normally simple to avoid but all this talk of "sploshing" ( I knew it existed but not the terminology)  has affected me.    It's hard enough for me to see a child with a messy face unintentionally but for adults to choose to make a mess with food , it seriously freaks me out!

Sorry,  but I hope you understand that's it's seriously affecting my use of the forums.

LOL... Not offended whatsoever.  Sorry that the pic has affected your use of the forums. 

Hope this one is slightly easier on the eyes.

LadiesMan wrote:

LOL... Not offended whatsoever.  Sorry that the pic has affected your use of the forums. 

Hope this one is slightly easier on the eyes.

Thank you very much!  You're very kind, I appreciate it.  :)

ps: Whatever that is, I'm hoping to remain clueless, thank you.  :)

Thank you for being so understanding,  It's an issue I've had for as long as I can remember , how I coped with my daughter's birthday parties I don't know.

and thank you Lubyanka for your eloquent post - I do try and think with logic before I post but I only think in black and white, there is no room in my head for  the many "shades of grey" , I don't do ambivalence, so my opinions are always absolute and I do tend to go with my gut reaction to something. 

I don't mean to offend anybody but sometimes I'm truly disturbed by certain things, that's not just limited to sexual practices either.

Lady Lara wrote:

and thank you Lubyanka for your eloquent post - I do try and think with logic before I post but I only think in black and white, there is no room in my head for  the many "shades of grey" , I don't do ambivalence, so my opinions are always absolute and I do tend to go with my gut reaction to something.

Perhaps it would help if you consider that the way you expressed yourself in your post was also black and white (if I understand your use of black and white correctly).  There is absolutely no requirement that you like or participate in anything anybody else likes.  The issue here is how you express yourself.  So as long as you acknowledge that your feelings apply to you only, and were not caused by anybody here, you can still feel what you've always felt, and you can still express your feelings if you want to.

The only difference here is recognising that somebody saying they like something is in no way any suggestion, requirement, or enforcement that you feel or do the same, that nobody wants to or even can hurt you here, that there is no threat, and that you're quite safe.  I don't think that's grey at all, I think that's pretty absolute.  Perhaps if you can get into the habit of remembering all that when you experience a strong emotive response, you'll find it easier to phrase your posts respectfully.  I think that's also not grey at all, and pretty absolute.

So maybe it's a matter of perspective.

I hope that helped.  If it didn't, oh well, feel free to ignore me.  :)

Ill be honest ive tried a hoover just to see how it feel, its nice but too risky thank you very much.
And ive tried homemade stuff but its tiresome, like the pillow humper, sandwich bags, etc. Ive made lube out gel like products (some good some well another story), but yeh its good to be inventive i say