• TV: Porn on the Brain

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    lillithlibby [sign in to see picture]
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    Also added to the banned list is anything bdsm related as its still technically illegal in the uk.:-\:-\
    I'm downloading this program to watch now and will be back with an opinion once I've watched it.

    1380588243
    lillithlibby [sign in to see picture]
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    Ok so first off, I watching this and I'm commenting as I go as I have a lot of opinions so apologies for a long post. 
    I was very aware of the amount of causal references to sex within the adverts that came with this program one including a bdsm style relationship and a tip about pinapple juice. 
    Then ironically he was playing dumb ways to die with his four year old son at the begining, this is not a game suitable for a child of that age. (Although that's probably off topic) 
    Anything can be addictive so think its a little over the top comparing porn to heroin. Porn is psychologicaly addictive where as heroin is a physical addiction. 
    I was not aware of the example of porn that the school kids referenced and I've never seen porn flag up on facebook ever, 
    I think there may always be a small percentage of people who see things and try to copy what they've seen jackass is a fantastic example of this. 
    Not sure why watching porn or chronically masturbating means you can't have a real relationship or children.
    I think the low that calum is feeling is the same as the guilt cycle that happens when you self harm which often is what drives you to do it more, if he can disrupt the guilt cycle it will help it. I belive he does have a choice its just he isn't ready to take control of it. Its a coping method (this confirmed by the physchogist near the end)
    All in all I think that its being all overblown and I'm questioning the amount of focus there is about children under the age of consent watching porn. It seems a little twisted to me, especially the references to the 11 year old child putting porn into Google. 
    Hahahaha sexual psychopaths pfft! Safe consensual and sane are key words that should be applied to all sexual situations. 
    I also find it slightly amusing that they are only focusing on "sexual violence" or "sexual humiliation"towards women they haven't been watching any Mistress porn, seems very one sided.
    I think children should be encouraged to talk to their parents if they stumble across porn on the internet so they can express any concerns they have without the fear of shame connected with it. 
    If you ban something you make it more appealing. Its the start of a slippery slope to start banning access to certain pages as a blanket ban. Most of the really concerning and nasty stuff is mostly buried so deep in the internet or stored offline it won't be touched by this ban. 
    Sex education needs a reform, my sex education was absolutely rubbish thankfully my mother was very open and new brothers popping in every few years ment I had a fairly rounded education at home and tended to be the child on the play ground explaining in simple terms just where the new sibling came from. 
    I don't have a problem with the website that was set up and I think the dutch are onto something. I could also see that having a positive effect on detecting childhood abuse if as a society we teach them about the ins and outs. There would be a decrease of shame or secrets around it. Children except things very easily when they are young and then carry on like normal, its not about sitting them down in front of porn or going into graphic details just explaining the facts of life the more you make a big deal out of it the more they will as well.its often curiosity that leads them onto the porn sites to start with. Education eradicates the curiosity and gives them a healthy basis to compare any pornography they come across.
    I think its all been overblown and turned into a horrendous issue. I have a policy now with my youngest brothers who are just into their teens that if they ever want to talk about anything they've seen or heard to come to me and talk which is an option they don't have with their parents which is a shame. Anyways I'm very aware im rambling if you've made it to the end of my post thank you for reading.*gives cookies*

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    Mr Gooner [sign in to see picture]
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    What was you referring too about a website which I think you said was set up by the Dutch?

    But I strongly agree the only easy way to deal with these issues are education.
    When I was at school the sex education looking back on it now was very poor.
    We had a sex education session when I was just about to go upto secondary school. Going to a Catholic school I kid you not the headteacher said to us that babies were born where a man and woman have sex (fair enough, makes sense) and also said by a miracle. Basically trying to say that immaculate conception existed lol
    Secondary school we were just shown a video and our science teacher just told us about safe sex.

    1380590616
    lillithlibby [sign in to see picture]
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    Two ladies can't remember their names now came under fire from the media because they set up a website with clear and simple information and drawings of labled naked people for educational purposes aimed at children. They didn't give the web site address but did say there was a lot of backlash from it.
    They are the two who want to teach sex education in the uk to children from the age of 4 and up like they do with dutch children where the teenage pregnancy rate is down significantly and overall the children seem happier and have a better attitude to sex and relationships.

    1380612396
    Lady Ness [sign in to see picture]
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    DavidB1986 wrote:

    Mr Gooner wrote:

    DavidB1986 wrote:

    Whilst I haven't watched the program, I feel I can bring in my own thoughts and opinions on the subject at hand.

    When I was younger, sex was just not something that was talked about in my family. It was made especially more difficult as the only sex I was interested in was between 2 men. In some respect, the porn that I found on the internet when I was younger helped me deal with and understand the various strange thoughts and feelings I was having as I was getting older, and allowed me to come to terms with my sexuality, when I couldn't talk about it with anyone.

    Again, it's this whole 'just because someone has seen something in porn, they must go and act it out' - just like the whole 'violent video games makes people commit violent acts'. Any happy, healthy, well adjusted individual is not going to act on anything they have seen in any movie or game. Those that do are people who have underlying (possibly psychological) conditions. Also, there is a vast majority of porn that is not what we call 'extreme'. And if i'm not mistaken, by next year, it will be an offence to own any material that would be considered 'extreme'.

    No parent wants to think about their children looking at, talking about or even having sex - but it happens. And parents need to start being more responsible and pro-active at talking to their children about this. I certainly wish my mother had been more open minded. It would have made my teenage years alot less hell.

    When you say it will be an offence to own any material that would be deemed as offensive. What about people who watch the material via a stream? People are always going to find a way around it if they want too.

    Its a bit like me watching 3pm football on a Saturday. The Premier League had the sites banned but i found away around it. Same with torrent sites like Pirate Bay.

    I think like Ork said, the best way too deal with these issues are to educate. I would certainly like to think when my boys are older and in their teens that i would be able to sit them down and explain what is right and what is wrong.

    I can't remember exactly, but I remember when there was the big hoo-ha about porn being blocked in the UK and having to specifically request access to it via your ISP, I remember them saying that basically "Possessing pornography that depicts simulated rape is to become a criminal offence in England and Wales to make Britain a place where there is a 'sense of right and wrong'" and to Change the law to restrict the distribution of "extreme" online videos that would not receive licences to be sold in UK sex shops.

    Like fisting porn - you may be refering to the porn trails last year where a man went to court due to owning fisting porn. You can find out more here: http://obscenitylawyer.blogspot.co.uk/

    Oh he's even writen about rape-porn too =)

    The censorship laws basically are confusing. Like free porn sides only being able to show soft core porn and not hard core. Debit card varification and more. I need to read up on it more, but I believe some good posts about it are out there since the XBIZ EU talks last week =)

    1380620398
    StHubbins [sign in to see picture]
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    Firstly, to answer a direct question put to me, it took about five months of no porn to recover from ED. After that, I started pelvic floor exercises which helped further, but I don't think would have solved it alone. Apparently (see link later) the older you are, the less long it takes. I was 40 at the time.

    Secondly, I mentioned PEGym. This is bot a scientific study, but does have a large sub-forum dedicated to ED. So, it's not scientific, but would be startlingly coincidental.

    Thirdly, this doesn't just affect people with an addictive personality. In my misspent youth I have tried every major legal and illegal addictive recreational substance and never got hooked. Gave up smoking with no problem and recently stopped drinking with no problem. I also gave up porn with no problem so there was certainly no physical addiction, but it had definitely affected what my brain expected from sex.

    Fourth point. The TV program is clearly sensationalist because that's what the media does. There's a lot of truth and a lot of nonsesnse mixed in together.

    Final point. Please, please, please watch this:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU

    This is non-sensationalist, study-based research.

    So what can be done. The porn block is probably a good idea. You can opt in which I'm sure will be anonymous. I block adult content using DNS (professional geek) because I have young kids, but a blanket block to prevent kids stumbling upon things probably isn't a bad idea. Having said that, if they get a good understanding of IT, then teenagers will get round this. So the final thing is education. The porn available now is not the same as the porn that was available ten years ago and if you give a teenage boy (and it does seem to be the boys that get the problems) unrestricted access to the Internet then I can pretty much guarantee that they will be watching porn a lot and some of them (maybe most of them) will get a problem. We should be educating the kids about the risks they are taking.

    I feel quite strongly about this because I've been through it. No one warned me. It all seemed innocent. I never watched anything illegal or immoral. Burying our heads in the sand is not the solution.

    1380621793
    StHubbins [sign in to see picture]
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    Anyone who watched the YouTube video above (and I urge you all to watch it) and wants further info, Gary Wilson has a website with loads of research here:

    http://yourbrainonporn.com/

    1380659285
    chocolate-milk [sign in to see picture]
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    I just watched this programme on 4OD. What 11 year olds are accidently watching porn? I think that parents should have more responsibilities when it comes to educating their children about sex - not the school! When I have children, I wouldn't want a teacher to explain something so intimate and important as relationships and sex. The biology of sex and male & female anatomy should be taught in school.

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    Lady Ness [sign in to see picture]
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    Here's an article some of you may be interested in http://nichihodgson.com/more-damaging-than-porn-the-myths-and-assumptions-around-addiction/

    Written by the same person who wrote this book too http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=26425

    1380799063
    StHubbins [sign in to see picture]
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    That article has a really good link to another piece of research here:
    http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2013/07/sex_addiction_study_ucla_researchers_find_that_sex_and_porn_might_not_actually.html

    I think that the problem with all this is that everyone is forced into an extreme position, whereas, as with practically everything, the best position is somewhere in the middle.

    One of the problems is the word addiction. The final paragraph of the research I linked to sums this up pretty well. Clearly it's not a physical addiction. In my case it wasn't any form of addiction, but then I don't get dependant on things, so that is a moot point.

    I think that porn affected me sexually a while back and, from looking at as much research as I could (e.g. Gary Wilson), I think that the big problem was variety. I wouldn't watch the same porn clip twice. I was seeing about ten girls a session. The male brain is wired to try to procreate with as many different females as possible and I was giving it what it wanted. The problem is that my OH is always the same and, therefore, however much I desire her, the variety that my brain had become accustomed to wasn't there. Six months with no porn and I no longer have a problem.

    I don't think porn itself is a problem. If you watch the same DVD with the same people, doing the same things and the things are similar to the things you get up to in the real world, then you don't change your brains expectations. However, the huge amount of free porn websites does cause a problem. This also only seems to be a problem for the male of the species.

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    Ron Burgundy [sign in to see picture]
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    As the father of a young girl the proliferation of internet porn and its accessibility do worry me. There is no doubt that teenage boys in particular have their attitudes towards women and sex shaped by porn.

    But I don't think porn is responsible for violence towards women just as i don't believe video games are responsible for gun violence. There will always be warped individuals who cannot tell fantasy from reality but they're the exception. That's the price of living in a free society.

    Parents need to be proactive and educate their children about respect and sexual behaviour.

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    rose hip [sign in to see picture]
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    StHubbins wrote:

    it had definitely affected what my brain expected from sex.

    Orgasm is a superbly powerful reward mechanism, so whatever you've been doing just before becomes associated with all of that intense pleasure. Basically the brain goes x = GOOOOOD!!! and wants to do it again to get the reward. That pleasure is immediate too, so that will be a far stronger association than problems which tend to arise later.

    There's also the matter of habituation/desensitisation, where you need more to get the same oomph. Every person who's gone in search of a more powerful vibe because the old stand-bys just aren't doing it anymore has experienced that. It will happen with porn too.

    A third thing we need to take into account IMO is availability. It used to be you had to put some effort in to access explicit material. Now is it so easy that this is itself affecting expectations in some. And then add in all of the sexualised imagery we're likely to encounter even when we're not seeking it out (advertising, page 3, music videos, films, and so on) . It's a bit of an overload. Maybe we do need to rethink this whole thing and find a better balance.

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