• I find it difficult to cum when I mastubate.

    1380123464
    somegirlinthisworld [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 90
    • Joined: 12 Jun 2012

    I've tried with fingers and toy's like the wand, clit vibe, wand fibe. But I still find it difficult to climax.

    I do find it hard to relax because I'm afraid someone might walk in or hear, plus I don't feel "wet" enough when I mastubate.

    Maybe I have a warped expecation of mastubation because of girls on porn films.

    I think I've had a orgasm before because I've felt really tense, and I felt like i needed to pee, then I felt calm.

    My question is, how do you mastubate better.

    1380123768
    MissChar [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1241
    • Joined: 3 Nov 2011

    If you don't feel wet enough use some lube. :) nothing wrong with using lube! And you definitely need to relax Hun. Try reading some erotic stories then give it a go. Lock your door if you can, play some music and enjoy yourself. Take your time and dont get frustrated.

    If you can't lock your door find a time when everyone is out at first so you can really let loose! Xx

    1380124759
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2236
    • Joined: 18 Oct 2011

    From my experience, a woman masturbating and reaching orgasm is NOTHING like porn....

    Those women in porn are supposedly orgasming after, what, 30 seconds? A minute? The average amount of time it takes for a woman to orgasm, I believe, is around 20 minutes (I often take longer) and most often, she is laying there with her eyes closed, relaxed and not really moving that much aside from some rocking of the tips and occasional whimpers. Can you imagine that porno? It just isn't practical. Porn is most often made for men. Men like visuals. Watching a woman screaming and writhing all over the place and this has to happen quickly, because I think most guys would turn off the porn where it took 20/30 minutes of watching a lady lay on a bed. Guys reach orgasm much faster and this would not make for good porn...

    Although, in a relationship, of course, it is different and most men appreciate it takes longer than in porn and are happy to oblige because pleasing the person they have feelings for is a huge thrill for them.

    I started this thread a while ago. have a look through it to get a better idea about the female orgasm:

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-tips-and-talk/663632-orgasmic-differences-and-problems/

    I would also advise getting some lubricant. If you do take a while to reach orgasm, there is nothing worse than feeling sore before you get there. Lubricant will also make the experience feel different. use it on your fingers when rubbing your clit, try it with your sex toys etc.

    The most important thing is relaxing, and not thinking about reaching orgasm, just thinking about what turns you on and enjoying the sensations you feel, not worrying if you have, or when you will....just experiementing with yourself and trying again another time if it doesnt work for you that time.

    1380124814
    lillithlibby [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 391
    • Joined: 7 Aug 2013

    Id recommend some lube and the bombshell balm, I apply the balm first then lube as it helps spread it around easier making it more effective. Relax and enjoy yourself different things work for different people and I think its also down to differnt situations and how aroused you are to start with,

    1380125562
    somegirlinthisworld [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 90
    • Joined: 12 Jun 2012

    I do use lube, but I think I'll try the bombshell balm.

    How about trying diffrent positions, like standing up, or kneeling instead of on my back

    1380126146
    MissChar [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1241
    • Joined: 3 Nov 2011

    Yeah changing positions could help definitely! Although personally I find it hard to orgasm solo in any position other than on my back, but could be really helpful for you :) xx

    1380148179
    KinkyFuckery [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3587
    • Joined: 10 Jul 2012

    Relax enjoy it if it takes you 20mins it takes you 20 mins but could take an hour learn to enjoy your body and find out what you like

    1380149012
    Scorpius12 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6371
    • Joined: 18 Dec 2007

    somegirlinthisworld wrote:

    I've tried with fingers and toy's like the wand, clit vibe, wand fibe. But I still find it difficult to climax.

    I do find it hard to relax because I'm afraid someone might walk in or hear, plus I don't feel "wet" enough when I mastubate.

    Maybe I have a warped expecation of mastubation because of girls on porn films.

    I think I've had a orgasm before because I've felt really tense, and I felt like i needed to pee, then I felt calm.

    My question is, how do you mastubate better.

    Relaxation is definately the key - and also having a good fantasy in your head. I agree with MissChar about getting some erotic books. Pick something that turns you on i.e. Bondage, Spanking, Threesomes etc. then choose yourself a book and have a read whilst playing with yourself - this should really help to 'switch off' your brain and let you get lost in the moment :) xxx

    1380234105
    Babeintoyland [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 26
    • Joined: 23 Sep 2013

    My problem is that I could never finger myself to orgasm, but again I have very tiny hands. To reach my gspot I have to twist my wrist into quite and uncomfortable position and my knuckles of my fingers press hard into my labia which hurts. I have baby sat 5 year old children with larger hands... Anywho... Maybe you need a better toy. I like dual stimulators. And I find too that wands are great but I need the internal gspot stimulation to hit the high notes. When done just ever so rightly... I can have a clit and gspot orgasm happen almost at the same time leaving it hard for me to even walk. I have reviewed a few toys on here and have a few in the queue waiting for approval. I highly suggest going to my profile and reading up on some of my reviews maybe they will help.

    1380234238
    Babeintoyland [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 26
    • Joined: 23 Sep 2013

    Also don't be afraid to try lubes, sensitizing balms... If you are set on manual stimulation water based lubricant dries out... Try a silicone/water hybrid to have a little bit of a longer lasting experience. You should try sensitizing balms because that helps... Women are very mentally driven and if your stressed or full of worry you will not orgasm.... Masturbation is normal... And be it embarrassing if caught most people are just as embarrassed for catching you so it gets let go of rather quickly... D what you gotta do to please yourself!

    1380261989
    Kasey [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 382
    • Joined: 2 Sep 2013

    Scorpius12 wrote:

    somegirlinthisworld wrote:

    I've tried with fingers and toy's like the wand, clit vibe, wand fibe. But I still find it difficult to climax.

    I do find it hard to relax because I'm afraid someone might walk in or hear, plus I don't feel "wet" enough when I mastubate.

    Maybe I have a warped expecation of mastubation because of girls on porn films.

    I think I've had a orgasm before because I've felt really tense, and I felt like i needed to pee, then I felt calm.

    My question is, how do you mastubate better.

    Relaxation is definately the key - and also having a good fantasy in your head. I agree with MissChar about getting some erotic books. Pick something that turns you on i.e. Bondage, Spanking, Threesomes etc. then choose yourself a book and have a read whilst playing with yourself - this should really help to 'switch off' your brain and let you get lost in the moment :) xxx

    I agree with Scorpius here, and also don't be too stressed if what helps you masturbate is something that you would never go for in real life. Fantasies like lesbian experiences/ threesomes/one night stands can stay fantasies.

    MissChar wrote:

    Yeah changing positions could help definitely! Although personally I find it hard to orgasm solo in any position other than on my back, but could be really helpful for you :) xx

    I agree that a different position can be the key. On my back I feel really exposed, but I orgasm really quickly when I'm lying on my front.

    I like to read erotica for a while, and then go with it if I feel like an orgasm, or if not, I don't stress. Literotica has some good stories if you are not quite sure what you want, or don't want to buy books...

    1380317170
    somegirlinthisworld [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 90
    • Joined: 12 Jun 2012

    Thank you for your advice. I tried to relax I had a bath, and I knew that my family were out for most the afternoon, I even told them to text me before they came home because "I might be out" and read some erotica that turned me. The end result was amazing.

    Also I found out that I prefer the wand compared to other sex toys. I've read good reviews about the Lelo mia but it dosen't feel as good compared to the wand vibe.

    1380466859
    Bluebells [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 137
    • Joined: 29 Sep 2013

    I reckon - easier to say than do, though - that you should try not to think about orgasm too much, and instead just relax and enjoy the sensations for themselves.

    I think that as women we put ourselves under pressure to come even when we're alone, even though we all vary in terms of response, as individuals, and maybe due to mood, time of the month, what else is happening in our life at that moment. When I masturbate, sometimes I orgasm within moments, other times maybe not for half an hour.

    I sometimes do the same kind of thing as Kasey above - I might spend quite a while reading erotic stories, not even touching myself, just getting slowly in the mood, and it can be much later that I start to feel I want to orgasm, and only then do I take my clothes off and actually masturbate.

    It might sound weird but sometimes what helps me is things like lighting fragrant candles around my bed, as that helps me relax and get into the mood to treat myself.

    But whatever you try, hope it works out for you and you can enjoy some really nice orgasms.

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.