• Deciding to stop taking the pill

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    Flower2016 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi everyone,

    I think I have decided to stop taking the pill, but I need some advice about how to approach the subject with my partner.

    After having so many problems with different versions of the pill, I found a brand (Yasmin) a couple of years ago that gives me the least amount of side effects. The only problem I have found with this pill is that it has really reduced my ability to orgasm.

    This has had a bad impact on our sex-life and our relationship because I get disheartened that I can't orgasm like I used to, and I feel like sex is now a race where I am trying to push myself to orgasm before he does.
    My partner has a much lower sex-drive than myself, so I don't want to knock his confidence by telling him that sex isnt as enjoyable as it used to be, therefore I feel like I exaggerate my noises a lot more than I should do.

    I have recently felt so unconnected to him that I have stopped wanting sex altogether, and he has noticed that something is wrong.

    I want to stop taking the pill so that hopefully my orgasms will come back and our sex-life and relationship will be more enjoyable.

    We have just stopped being long-distance because we have finished university and moved back in with our parents. I don't feel like there is as much of a need for the pill now, because we see eachother all the time and don't need to plan when I am going to have a period.
    We also still use condoms anyway, so we don't really rely on the pill as a contraceptive.

    However, my problem is that lately I have been really broody and making comments about wanting children. We are still young and not financially stable enough to have children right now, so i know that it is an unrealistic desire.

    How do I talk to my partner about coming of the pill without him thinking that I'm only doing it to have children, or without hurting his feelings?

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    blonde vixen13 [sign in to see picture]
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    Just sit him down and explain that you feel the pill is effecting your big o. Tell him you would like to continue to use condoms as a contraceptive but you also feel it would be a good idea to discuss other methods of contraception as you want to ensure there are no unplanned pregnancies. Explain that although you would like a future like that with him one day you realise now is not the right time .
    I would advise you give it a couple of months to see if the hormones leaving your system help to improve your orgasm. Because if you do choose to take on another type of hormonal contraception, many of them contain the same hormones , so there may be some you would want to avoid to stop the same problem occurring again.

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    Flower2016 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks for the advice. I think we'll just use condoms for the first few months of me coming off the pill, to see if it works for us.
    I think it's a good idea to sit down with him and discuss other methods of contraception to make him feel more secure. I'd like to involve him in any decision I make.
    I'm going to research into non-hormonal methods of contraception, because I've had so many issues in the past of hormones making me craaaazy.

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    Naughty Miss K [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree with blonde vixen, explain you're getting bad side affects, but still want to continue with the contraception :)

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    blonde vixen13 [sign in to see picture]
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    The copper coil is a non hormonal contraceptive. It lasts for up to 10 years and can be removed at any point by a trained dr or nurse if you feel it is no longer needed. You fertility would also return instantly if you had it removed as you wanted to start trying for a family. The only issue is that some women experience heavy periods while its insitu but until you try it you won't no. You would but be forced to continue with it if you did experience it as a side effect.

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    Poppicat [sign in to see picture]
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    The copper coil does not have any hormones in it, it lasts for 10 years. It can make your periods heavier and a little more painful for the 1st few months but it soon settles down. It does cause discomfort when it is put in. I have the marina coil that last 5 years it has the hormone in it. I have found my sex drive has gone up with it.lol. I have found myself very horny and wanting sex a lot more.

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    MrsMcX [sign in to see picture]
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    Yep, get the coil. Don't chance condoms, so many accidents can happen, you need to protect yourself. You mention that you're broody, and I suspect that part of the reason you want to come off the pill is to increase your chances of conception. If you're broody, do something about it, better your life, save up, and prepare yourself properly before bringing an innocent child into the world, whilst knowing you can't provide for it as well as you could. Sorry if that sounds mean, but broody or not, your life will be a struggle for you and your baby if you're not fully prepared.

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    Flower2016 [sign in to see picture]
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    MrsMcX wrote:

    Yep, get the coil. Don't chance condoms, so many accidents can happen, you need to protect yourself. You mention that you're broody, and I suspect that part of the reason you want to come off the pill is to increase your chances of conception. If you're broody, do something about it, better your life, save up, and prepare yourself properly before bringing an innocent child into the world, whilst knowing you can't provide for it as well as you could. Sorry if that sounds mean, but broody or not, your life will be a struggle for you and your baby if you're not fully prepared.

    MrsMcX, I completely understand what you are saying. However, my reasons for wanting to stop taking the pill were already outlined above. I have no intention of getting pregnant, because I know myself and my partner are not in the financial situation to bring up a child. I have just graduated from university, and I know it will take a few years for me to be in a comfortable financial situation.

    At the moment my focus is on improving my relationship, sex-life and happiness.

    I will speak to my partner first and then book an appointment to discuss the coil if we are both happy that it is right for us.

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    Topper (UKSF) [sign in to see picture]
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    My wife has just switched to the mini-pill after coming off of the myrena coil. The myrena worked for about 2 years amd was fine, but then suddenly she started to have one long continuous period for about 8 weeks which was really awful.

    She's tried just about everything under the sun. The injection was something that worked for a while and then suddenly she had a severe allergic reaction to it which was very dangerous.

    The mini pill seems to be ok so far, although it doesn't stop periods, only birth control. Side effects seem to be non existant, and sex drive is good.

    1378572992
    Flower2016 [sign in to see picture]
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    Topper (UKSF) wrote:

    My wife has just switched to the mini-pill after coming off of the myrena coil. The myrena worked for about 2 years amd was fine, but then suddenly she started to have one long continuous period for about 8 weeks which was really awful.

    She's tried just about everything under the sun. The injection was something that worked for a while and then suddenly she had a severe allergic reaction to it which was very dangerous.

    The mini pill seems to be ok so far, although it doesn't stop periods, only birth control. Side effects seem to be non existant, and sex drive is good.

    Thank you for the info. I think I would prefer a non-hormonal form of contraception because i've had bad experiences with hormones before. Yasmin has been the only pill that hasn't made me crazy!

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    Wildcherry [sign in to see picture]
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    Hey MissAnon,

    Myself and my partner have used condoms for 9 years on and off but since i found out i had PCOS i started using condoms full time 3 years ago. I cant have the coil as it has a chance of miscarriage therefore affecting my chance of ever concieving and the heavier periods. I also wasnt ever fussed on the injection and pumping myself full of more hormones as Dianette was nasty enough.

    In the 3 years we've had one incident where one condom split (lucky it was before anything happened) but it was a passante so if you do go with the condom option id suggest Mates Skyns, they are pricey but they feel as if nothing is there. As another alternative Durex has some thin ones but after trying them both i prefer Skyns and bulk buy off ebay.

    Hope i helped :)

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    Flower2016 [sign in to see picture]
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    Blackcherry wrote:

    Hey MissAnon,

    Myself and my partner have used condoms for 9 years on and off but since i found out i had PCOS i started using condoms full time 3 years ago. I cant have the coil as it has a chance of miscarriage therefore affecting my chance of ever concieving and the heavier periods. I also wasnt ever fussed on the injection and pumping myself full of more hormones as Dianette was nasty enough.

    In the 3 years we've had one incident where one condom split (lucky it was before anything happened) but it was a passante so if you do go with the condom option id suggest Mates Skyns, they are pricey but they feel as if nothing is there. As another alternative Durex has some thin ones but after trying them both i prefer Skyns and bulk buy off ebay.

    Hope i helped :)

    Thanks for sharing your experience Blackcherry.

    We do use condoms about 95% of the time, as well as me being on the pill. Our favourite ones are the Durex Pleasuremax, but I'll try out the Mates Skyns ones when we run out! In the 3 years we have been together we have never had a condom split.

    I think I've got to the point where I just dont see a need for the pill anymore, because we use condoms so much anyway and now I don't need to plan my periods around seeing him.

    1378575398
    Flower2016 [sign in to see picture]
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    Blackcherry wrote:

    id suggest Mates Skyns, they are pricey but they feel as if nothing is there. As another alternative Durex has some thin ones but after trying them both i prefer Skyns and bulk buy off ebay.

    Also, have you ever had an issue buying condoms on eBay? I'm not sure whether I could trust that they were the real brand. x

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    Wildcherry [sign in to see picture]
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    I've kinda had a recent allergic reaction to Durex if im honest, not sure if its the spermicide but pleasuremax was our favourite to use.

    As for ebay, yup never had a problem, i buy off the high star condom sellers and they sell in packs of 12, 24 and 50 (sometimes 100s) and have the official logos on them.

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    Flower2016 [sign in to see picture]
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    Blackcherry wrote:

    I've kinda had a recent allergic reaction to Durex if im honest, not sure if its the spermicide but pleasuremax was our favourite to use.

    As for ebay, yup never had a problem, i buy off the high star condom sellers and they sell in packs of 12, 24 and 50 (sometimes 100s) and have the official logos on them.

    It's a shame that you had an allergic reaction to Durex. I've never had a reaction to them, but the tingle ones stung a bit!

    Once I've spoken to my partner i'll have a look on eBay and Amazon for the Mates condoms

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    dotdashdot [sign in to see picture]
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    Just going with the advice you've been given... don't just rely on condoms. They're just not reliable enough and, as you're feeling broody anyway, you might have a bit of an irrational slip, not be as careful as you should and fall pregnant at a time that's not great for either of you.

    If you're worried about introducing hormones into your body due to the effect they have on your big o, why not think about a diaphragm or a copper coil? Diaphragms aren't very reliable either but if you use them with condoms you should be pretty well covered! And coils are meant to be really good!

    Just make it very plain to your boyfriend that you don't want children now (don't even mention that you're broody you'll terrify him!) and say that the pill is effecting you. Both in your ability to orgasm and you're wellbeing in general. He should understand.

    God I wish men could take contraception instead of us! x

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    rag doll [sign in to see picture]
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    when I was chosing a contraceptive I was interested about trying a diaphram but none of the doctors i spoke to would even go into descousion about them with me.

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    Wildcherry [sign in to see picture]
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    I disagree on them not being reliable enough, 9 years never once have i had any "accidents" broody or not.

    I've used diaphrams, not many people use them so my Gp refered me to the contraception clinic. They are fiddley in the heat of the moment as if they arent placed correctly over your cervix you can get pregnant.

    I guess if your still unsure MissAnon make an appointment with the contraception clinic so they can give you the full info on the coil, i never knew about the coil until i went.

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    naughtywildfun90 [sign in to see picture]
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    I have similar problems with hormonal contraception, so I changed to the copper coil which has no hormones, you could look into other contraception options and when you have made a choice, as your partner what he thinks? Xx

    1378645672
    LilMissFrustrated [sign in to see picture]
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    Due to my medical stuff I've always had to use condoms. I've used them for forever and only once had a problem. I guess like everything you use what suits you best.

    Re your partner Im sure if you talk to him and tell him everything he will understand. From my experience I've learnt hiding stuff never ever works.

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