Do you prefer being the Dom or Sub?

Feel free to post evey.

I'd rather just leave my piece as it is now. I don't wish to make enemies or argue on here and I don't think things will cool down if I keep what I have to say open. You raised some good points so thank you.

Ok Lubyanka. I guess we both have alot to say sometimes and some very different opinions. See you around the forum!

I was however simply making the point that some common beliefs may be true so they should not just be wrote off (More men being dom etc..).  We all make plenty of true observations, because we do not colloct data on it does not detract from the truth.

I'm not writing off that belief as being untrue, as I said, I'm simply saying that I would need to see good evidence to believe it, as I would with anything. I'm sure you would agree that just because many people believe something, it is not necessarily true.

Essentially, as you say, there seems to be very little research done into this area, which is a shame imo.

I agree that the context in which a comment is made is very important, and also that it is sometimes hard to get someone's 'tone of voice' over t'internet. However, for me language is very important, and the words people choose *do* have impacts on others (for example, words to describe different ethnic groups) and a word or phrase that one person finds 'everyday' or inoffensive may offend others, and I don't believe that that is unimportant. If I used a word innocently, not meaning offence, and someone or a group of people took offence to it, instead of dismissing their viewpoint, I would try to examine what exactly in my words they had found offensive. (eg. t'other day I heard two older white women using an unpleasant word for black people in their conversation. Even if for those people it was an everyday word, it doesn't mean that anyone being offended by it would be wrong.)

Anyhoo, that wasn't aimed at you specifically, just a general observation.

Also, I don't enjoy being called 'dear' or similar by people I don't know.

That is someone being polite and nice not patronising.

That's your opinion; I generally find using terms of endearment to strangers inappropriate. Just as you have the right not to mind being called 'dear', I have the right to be irritated by it.

Hopefully you can see what I mean. And we can probably agree to disagree on the dom/sub thing. :p

the sub as its more exciting being told what to do

I'm not entirely sure, usually I tend to be the dominant one but it's always a bit of a turn on when she takes control.

WE ARE BOTH SUB ANDDOM TO EACH OTHER

SOMETIES I,FEMALE  WILL DOMANATE FOR SAY A WEEK OTHER TIMES ITS THE MALE DEPENDES ON THE MOOD

BUT HER TOTLY DOMANATES WHAT KNICKERS I WEAR ALL THE TIME,I HAVE TO ASKE FOR CLEAN ONES AND EVEN HAVE TO ASK TO TAKE THEM OFF!!

JUST OUR GAME WHICH SUITS US

as a bossy moo I prefer dom but i do like to be sub as a surprise..that really gets him going .

Haven't read any of the posts , so sorry if I repeat what others may have put !  I just read the question  ;

As I say on my profile , I am very much Jekyll and Hyde , I have 2 completely different feelings for sex.

However , when in my more kinky mood, I think if I am honest I do prefer being sub - Having that feelin of someone controlling me is very sexy. The thought of being someones "Play thing" is rather exciting. I find all my senses get hightened if I am restrained and that makes the pleasure a whole lot more thrilling .

Actually, I really enjoy dominating my OH .....

Knowing that I am in control of what they are feeling and that I can cause them pleasure is very ummmm well, it makes me smile an awful lot and role playing a "Powerful Character" seems to be getting me off a lot lately .

Oh well , I can't make my mind up !

Best to carry on enjoying both I guess ?! 

Nexas wrote:

Love, maybe move away from the caps lock? ^_^'

I'm a bit of a switch but I'm definitely seeing more of my dom side coming out...

Alas we tried to warn her... apparently it made no difference.

LOVE wrote:

WE ARE BOTH SUB ANDDOM TO EACH OTHER

SOMETIES I,FEMALE  WILL DOMANATE FOR SAY A WEEK OTHER TIMES ITS THE MALE DEPENDES ON THE MOOD

BUT HER TOTLY DOMANATES WHAT KNICKERS I WEAR ALL THE TIME,I HAVE TO ASKE FOR CLEAN ONES AND EVEN HAVE TO ASK TO TAKE THEM OFF!!

JUST OUR GAME WHICH SUITS US

I'd recommend typing your above message differently if you would like people to respond in a more friendly manner - recommend the below:

"We are both sub and dom to each other.

Sometimes I, female, will dominate for say, a week.  Other times it's the male - depends on the mood.

But he totally dominates what knickers I wear all the time - I have to ask for clean ones and even have to ask to take them off!!

Just our game which suits us."

Using caps lock (third button up on the left side of your keyboard) makes your posts more difficult to read. It also suggests to your readers that you are shouting - unless you're Gordon Ramsey on a tetchy day, I'm sure you don't mean to shout as much as you do.

I'd really like to be able to welcome you to the OA and reapond nicely to you but at the moment you're behaving in an antisocial way by ignoring so many polite requests for you to change your ways.

Please listen.

CCW x

Please please listen!

That clever lady knows what she is talking about! We love talking to everyone here but it really does seem quite impolite to ignore other members and 'shout'.

(apart from spelling respond incorrectly)

I'd have to say I'm more of a switch by nature. Variety is the spice of life.

Same here Artel, I like to play both roles.

I guess I lean more towards the sub side, as Mr McP leans more towards the dom side, so it works well for us, but I find it easy to switch over and get my domme hat on aswell. :-)

Most people appear to be switches but with a certain preference. Reminds me of the sexuality discussion recently!

I'd say I'm a switch (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzUozo1628U) with sub leanings

xxKPxx

Think I've already answered this ages ago! Total Dom here but love subbing, that's the scoffing of filled breads! :-p

Haha... I laughed! Cheesy (like a suc actually) but still made me giggle!

I'm a total sub, but not quite as much as I used to be. Perhaps this relationship has gone on so long we need to have equal values now.. Spesh since we are boths in pain these days.

Definatly a sub, LMH have trouble being the Dom though as she's a sub too

 Oi oi you lot, the CAPS isn't offensive. I'll grant you it's annoying, but there's no need to get testy about it.

Bonny was msn'ing me in caps yesterday - she was doing something weird, but whatever, Trevor!

Just chiiiiillllllll! She may be mobile or have another reason for writing like that, live and let live yo'. It doesn't give a very nice impression of the OA if people get so mardy over caps, does it? Especially when a member is simply contributing to the discussion. If it bothers y'all that much, send me an email and I'll retype it in future, I don't mind ^_^

Yeah, and apparently I'm a bloody switch these days. FML. Haha.

x