• men who say no to anal play

    1377520499
    Oboy [sign in to see picture]
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    That's it really, Aqualaria.It's perceived as "Unmanly" by some hetro men. Is it the same as being submissive in some mens eyes I wonder?

    1377520820
    Aqualaria [sign in to see picture]
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    @Oboy. I think it is seen the same as being submissive, and that is seen as a bad thing. "Real men" (I hate that phrase) are in charge, in control. "Real men" demand sex or bjs.

    In their eyes, women are meant to hate sex. Women are meant to lie back and just take whatever the man wants to do. Unfortunately, some women do appear to think like this too. (I have an ex that fitted the stereotype perfectly).

    Well, my woman loves sex, loves being dirty, loves experimenting and loves pegging me. In most cases, I am in control of the actual sex, which is why I love being pegged - it is lovely to not be in control sometimes.

    1377522474

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    Lol I would love to see a man try and tell me to just take it or I'm gonna do this. I'd tell him to f*+k right off lol.

    My man would be out on his ear if he ever said anything like that to me and wasn't joking. Xx

    1377523255
    Oboy [sign in to see picture]
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    Couldn't agree with youmore Aqualaria. Although I've not tried anal play as a recipient, I can imagine that it is something to erotically experience, if an individual chooses. I'm not against anything consensual, in any form, just inexperienced in the act. Never say never.........

    I'm not a fan of "Real Man" either. "Good Man" should be more important, at least that's what I'm telling my chilldren.

    @Lolli.....hopefully you'll never have to kick ass!!!!!!!! LOL

    1377523362
    Oboy [sign in to see picture]
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    If I demanded anything from OH........a world of hurt would be all mine!

    1377525405

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    Lol nah I don't think I will have to ether oboy as my partner would never demand anything from me. X

    1377525556
    fizzy [sign in to see picture]
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    I would love to do my man with a strap on but hes not intrested maybe one day i can get him to try it. a girl can dream right ; )

    1377526009
    Cat Lady [sign in to see picture]
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    Aqualaria wrote:

    Some time over that 20 years, anal for a woman turned from bad to expected, but anal for a man without being gay has not followed suit.

    I'm wondering why you say there's a perspective that it's "expected" for women to do it?

    My view is that nobody should be "expected" to do anything sexually.

    Sorry, that part bugged me!

    1377526675
    Aqualaria [sign in to see picture]
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    Cat Lady wrote:

    Aqualaria wrote:

    Some time over that 20 years, anal for a woman turned from bad to expected, but anal for a man without being gay has not followed suit.

    I'm wondering why you say there's a perspective that it's "expected" for women to do it?

    My view is that nobody should be "expected" to do anything sexually.

    Sorry, that part bugged me!

    No need to apologise.

    It was just an impression I got from the younger employees that used to work for me. They seemed to expect their ladies to do it. Of course, it might all have been male macho nonsense, but I was rather surprised at the time.

    I totally agree with your view that nobody should be "expected" to do anything sexually, and in fact, if anyone did expect something from me, I'd probably walk away.

    1377527214
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    Cat Lady wrote:

    Aqualaria wrote:

    Some time over that 20 years, anal for a woman turned from bad to expected, but anal for a man without being gay has not followed suit.

    I'm wondering why you say there's a perspective that it's "expected" for women to do it?

    My view is that nobody should be "expected" to do anything sexually.

    Sorry, that part bugged me!

    I said something similar cat lady, although I said "assumed that ladies should be more willing to do it"

    From my experience (Not everyones ofc) It seems like, it is a right of passage, made jokes of in those crappy comedy films, for example that "shes willing to do anal" and therefore is a "keeper" or suddenly so much hotter because she is willing to do this "naughty" act. Whereas, if it is joked about in film for a man to be getting it, its like an embarrassing or traumatic experience for him that he avoids. (If this makes sense) I think film perpetuates these stereotypes. Am I the only one who gets this impression in general, from friends or TV? Like, it is perceived, not that a woman is expected, but that she is considered sexier/cooler if she does it?

    Although, this does not of course mean that women are expected to. That is the wrong term to use. but it does have this praising women who are willing to do it, making them out to be the most sexually sought after or something, and this peer pressure can rub off on women who are not that keen but are thinking well, SHE does it and all the guys want someone like her. I dunno if I am making any sense lol

    There are so many books, forums and more out there, asking advice how to get the lady into anal sex and all these people respond positively with tips and advice, but if a man asks about anal on himself he gets called things by internet trolls that I don't even want to repeat. (Not on this forum ofc) So it is almost as if these people "expect" that a woman should or could do anal, but a man shouldn't even want to because it is wrong for him to want that.

    Of course everything I just typed above does not apply to everyone and luckily there are lots of non judgemental or open minded people around, but I can see these "stereotypes" flying around often enough as to think myself that if a woman wants anal, shes the best, if a man wants it, hes laughed at. Expected is the wrong word though, maybe persuaded? By media or peers. lol I dunno xx

    1377527344
    Cat Lady [sign in to see picture]
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    Aqualaria wrote:

    Cat Lady wrote:

    Aqualaria wrote:

    Some time over that 20 years, anal for a woman turned from bad to expected, but anal for a man without being gay has not followed suit.

    I'm wondering why you say there's a perspective that it's "expected" for women to do it?

    My view is that nobody should be "expected" to do anything sexually.

    Sorry, that part bugged me!

    No need to apologise.

    It was just an impression I got from the younger employees that used to work for me. They seemed to expect their ladies to do it. Of course, it might all have been male macho nonsense, but I was rather surprised at the time.

    I totally agree with your view that nobody should be "expected" to do anything sexually, and in fact, if anyone did expect something from me, I'd probably walk away.

    Ah cool. Hmm, interesting. It's not something I talk about with people IRL so I was curious!

    1377531796
    PhilD [sign in to see picture]
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    A lot of it is to do with stereotypes as above, but i bet a lot of blokes out there who call it gay, are dead against any form of anal play on themselves (in public at least!) probably do indulge in the occasional 'pokey bum wank'. Which makes them hypocrites at worst :)

    like a lot of things, it is still seen as a taboo act and definitely classed more on the kinky

    lets-not-talk-about-it as far as sex goes. I myself do enjoy it, and we do own and have enjoyed strapons. In fact, i really love it when being on the receiving side for a change!

    1377532354
    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
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    PhilD wrote:

    A lot of it is to do with stereotypes as above, but i bet a lot of blokes out there who call it gay, are dead against any form of anal play on themselves (in public at least!) probably do indulge in the occasional 'pokey bum wank'. Which makes them hypocrites at worst :)

    like a lot of things, it is still seen as a taboo act and definitely classed more on the kinky

    lets-not-talk-about-it as far as sex goes. I myself do enjoy it, and we do own and have enjoyed strapons. In fact, i really love it when being on the receiving side for a change!

    heehee that made me chuckle :)

    1377533306
    Cat Lady [sign in to see picture]
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    Fluffbags wrote:

    Cat Lady wrote:

    Aqualaria wrote:

    Some time over that 20 years, anal for a woman turned from bad to expected, but anal for a man without being gay has not followed suit.

    I'm wondering why you say there's a perspective that it's "expected" for women to do it?

    My view is that nobody should be "expected" to do anything sexually.

    Sorry, that part bugged me!

    I said something similar cat lady, although I said "assumed that ladies should be more willing to do it"

    From my experience (Not everyones ofc) It seems like, it is a right of passage, made jokes of in those crappy comedy films, for example that "shes willing to do anal" and therefore is a "keeper" or suddenly so much hotter because she is willing to do this "naughty" act. Whereas, if it is joked about in film for a man to be getting it, its like an embarrassing or traumatic experience for him that he avoids. (If this makes sense) I think film perpetuates these stereotypes. Am I the only one who gets this impression in general, from friends or TV? Like, it is perceived, not that a woman is expected, but that she is considered sexier/cooler if she does it?

    Although, this does not of course mean that women are expected to. That is the wrong term to use. but it does have this praising women who are willing to do it, making them out to be the most sexually sought after or something, and this peer pressure can rub off on women who are not that keen but are thinking well, SHE does it and all the guys want someone like her. I dunno if I am making any sense lol

    There are so many books, forums and more out there, asking advice how to get the lady into anal sex and all these people respond positively with tips and advice, but if a man asks about anal on himself he gets called things by internet trolls that I don't even want to repeat. (Not on this forum ofc) So it is almost as if these people "expect" that a woman should or could do anal, but a man shouldn't even want to because it is wrong for him to want that.

    Of course everything I just typed above does not apply to everyone and luckily there are lots of non judgemental or open minded people around, but I can see these "stereotypes" flying around often enough as to think myself that if a woman wants anal, shes the best, if a man wants it, hes laughed at. Expected is the wrong word though, maybe persuaded? By media or peers. lol I dunno xx

    Hmm maybe you're right. We're all surrounded by so many stereotypes and sometimes we probably don't even know it. Plus some are harder to resist than others. But some just cause problems, and I think that may be the case here.

    I agree with you about the social conditioning affecting perceptions of both sexes in this, though of course I agree with those who say its not the only factor i.e. personal preference as well.

    I personally think everyone should do what suits them and their partner and who cares about anyone else? ;-)

    1377534207
    Oboy [sign in to see picture]
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    It's fair to say that most, if not all people on this thread, would agree with CatLady. Each to their own.

    Now.....A Pokey Bum Wank........That should earn its own place in The Oxford. PhilD said it first.

    :))

    1377535613
    PhilD [sign in to see picture]
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    Its probably already in Rogers Profanisaurus ....

    1377535877
    Aqualaria [sign in to see picture]
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    Unfortuately, stereotypes are everywhere, and as far as men are concerned, lads mag are some of the worst promoters of these stereotypes, especially where sex and women are concerned.

    Sorry if I upset anyone with my observations about what my former employees were saying. Not what I believe at all.

    1377536420
    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
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    Aqualaria wrote:

    Unfortuately, stereotypes are everywhere, and as far as men are concerned, lads mag are some of the worst promoters of these stereotypes, especially where sex and women are concerned.

    Sorry if I upset anyone with my observations about what my former employees were saying. Not what I believe at all.

    no not at all .. its a thread to gain others opininons and eprspectives :)

    1377536554
    Oboy [sign in to see picture]
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    @Aqua....Not at all. If only some of my aquaintances weren't actually the stereotypes mentioned above. And the Lad Mags? How right you are. I think they're worse than some of the old glossy mens mags from pre Internet times, as they mix their soft porn with "lifestyleand culture" articles....blurred lines indeed.

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