• men who say no to anal play

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    Pandamonkey [sign in to see picture]
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    Hey folks...

    My first post was gonna be fore some advice on this very suject.... so I thought I would start here in this thread!

    My wife said she would never want anal, and thats fine by me, as she is tight enough round the front! But, I have had anal experiences, and milking my prostate, or having somthing up there while I masturbate is pretty damn good!

    Any advice to go about telling my wife I like it? I dont want her to freak out! while we were looking on LH for some fun toys (We bought the tracycox bondage kit, and the LH silencer 2.0) there was an almost throwaway comment of, 'I could get one of those strapons and do you!' To which I replied, 'yeah if you like!?' But she just laughed, assuming I was being daft....

    SHould I just buy one!? Or does this need serious talking through!!?

    Monkey.

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    jeffngloria [sign in to see picture]
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    its seriously a case of whatever floats your boat imo, im comfortable with my sexuality but having something in your bum does feel nice especially if it vibrates , just click add to basket and buy what you fancy then tell her you were feeling extra horny and have ordered a toy ,she will probably come around and be as interested as you , thats what i did ,oh and anothr thing buy her something too haha

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    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
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    naughty stacey wrote:

    Some guys don't like anal, some girls don't like anal. I don't think it is fair to compare taking anal to giving it, both are completely different experiences. So when a girl says "why should I take when you don't?" it is incorrect. It is more correct for the girl to either "say yes please I like it," or "no thanks I don't like it."

    My fella thinks if he sticks things in his bum then I will let him do the same to me. It just aint happening.

    i really dont think you can say its incorrect for everyone . maybe for you in your opinion , but i think ite perfectly fair to say that . besides which , a guy ahs his prostate UP his ass , so its almost like he's meant to in a way .

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    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
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    heheheheh i did assume it had some other purpose but never lookied into it at all lookied ?? ha i like that spelling :)

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    KinkyFuckery [sign in to see picture]
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    Each to their own but if hes willing to stick his cock up my ass he can at least experience himself 50/50 and alll all fair in love and anal lol .

    No seriously i think sometimes men have a perspection that they may enjoy it and that man make them gay which is a load of bollocks, just because you enjoy anal doesnt mean your gay means your content with you sexualaility and enjot difference experiences .

    I would say dont knock it until you try it you dont know what your missing out on !

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    jimtech [sign in to see picture]
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    I believe as a typical man against anything up my bum rule I can see how this is a difficult subject to raise . the cultral and education views that have been raised I think are pretty much spot on , I am 27 and when I was growing up anal really was a taboo and only associated around the playground as gay . almost all of us men must grow up in this culture a little homophobic because we don't know otherwise . since growing up and educating myself in life I realized no matter what sex you like your still normal. now i have gay friends and it is now socially/culturally acceptable in these times to talk more about these subjects .for now I still won't accept anal but I'm not saying never .

    I will never be pressured into anything I don't want to nor would I force my OH to do something she would not like to try .

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    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
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    jimtech wrote:

    I believe as a typical man against anything up my bum rule I can see how this is a difficult subject to raise . the cultral and education views that have been raised I think are pretty much spot on , I am 27 and when I was growing up anal really was a taboo and only associated around the playground as gay . almost all of us men must grow up in this culture a little homophobic because we don't know otherwise . since growing up and educating myself in life I realized no matter what sex you like your still normal. now i have gay friends and it is now socially/culturally acceptable in these times to talk more about these subjects .for now I still won't accept anal but I'm not saying never .

    I will never be pressured into anything I don't want to nor would I force my OH to do something she would not like to try .

    kids are dicks . i have raised mine to not see things as 'gay' or 'straight' and i have told him its douchey to think otherwise lol . point being though .. once your like .. 11 or something .. you grow up enough to realise that gay isnt a bad thing anyway so ... again .. wheres the issue ?

    my original question was though .. what is it about it that you dont want to try ? and why ? pain ? or scared you might like it ?

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    jimtech [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh yeah sorry I did ramp on a bit and not answer your question , all I can think of is the usual excuses that its a exit not a entry . other than that all I can say is that I don't see myself enjoying it so why bother . I know its a poor answer

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    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
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    jimtech wrote:

    Oh yeah sorry I did ramp on a bit and not answer your question , all I can think of is the usual excuses that its a exit not a entry . other than that all I can say is that I don't see myself enjoying it so why bother . I know its a poor answer

    same could be said for a chicks butt though .. no reason a girls booty should be an entry and a mans not ..

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    Cameo [sign in to see picture]
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    Fairly sure I've only read one post that even infers women should take it in the arse but men shouldn't. Fact is that sexually, people like what they like. Men can like anal, women can like anal, both giving or recieving... Nothing to do with gender. Should a guy like sucking cock because he liks his cock sucked? No. Neither anal nor oral provide any functionality (anatomically speaking) and are therefore a matter of preference. It's perfectly reasonable for a guy to like giving anal but not recieving it, same as it's reasonable for a girl to like pegging but not recieving anal.

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    bigstu [sign in to see picture]
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    Cameo wrote:

    therefore a matter of preference. It's perfectly reasonable for a guy to like giving anal but not recieving it, same as it's reasonable for a girl to like pegging but not recieving anal.

    Here Here - I agree wholeheartly with this, its defo the case with my OH, I love pegging (being the receiver and the OH loves to give it) but in no way do I suddenly find myself being attracted to guys. It just appeals very much to my sexual submissive nature and the sensations are great!!!

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    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
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    quite clearly realise that its reasonable cameo .. i have just found myself curious as to forum member s reasons personally thats all ...

    wholly aware its a matter of preference , like i say just asking a question not going on the attack or making any ass-umptions .. sheesh

    though you say should a guy like sucking cock cos he likes having his sucked ? no theres no 'should' about it . though i believe most women would say if a guy their with wants to get blown , he'll have to go down on her at some point as well .. which from questions ive asked prior .. people seem to think is reasonable to request whereas mutual anal is not . which led to my curiosity .

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    tinytheturtle [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree a man should go down on his woman if she gives him head also i feel the same way about anal he should at leats give it afew times my wife is the one who got me going anal but be trurthful i think i would like the real thing in there instead of a toy. she was up to doing that but now if i say something she ignores me. she had her times with a couple of ladies but says she was the only one who actually got into it i was there with one of them it was is true other did not want to do her but wanted it done on her. maybe that is what changed her mind im not sure i like to watch dont have to get involved same if i was with a guy i want her to watch not join in better go since i changed changed this post around dont get mad please but i do agree he should go down on her too

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    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
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    my ex didnt want to do anal - he knew it was something that just wouldn't be sexy to him at all so wasn't really inclined to try. It wasn't out of a fear or anyhting - just that he knew it wouldnt be a like. The amount of time and faffing about it takes put him off too.

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    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
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    tinytheturtle wrote:

    I agree a man should go down on his woman if she gives him head also i feel the same way about anal he should at leats give it afew times my wife is the one who got me going anal but be trurthful i think i would like the real thing in there instead of a toy. she was up to doing that but now if i say something she ignores me. she had her times with a couple of ladies but says she was the only one who actually got into it i was there with one of them it was is true other did not want to do her but wanted it done on her. maybe that is what changed her mind im not sure i like to watch dont have to get involved same if i was with a guy i want her to watch not join in better go since i changed changed this post around dont get mad please but i do agree he should go down on her too

    no thats cool you brought a new perspective to it all

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    Annenon [sign in to see picture]
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    Fluffbags, on the first page (I don't want to quote the whole post), makes some very sound and common sense points as always, so thank you for that.

    This is a multifarious issue and the reasons manyfold. As others have said, some men have a very macho self-image and don't want to be seen to be doing anything that could be, even in the remotest contrivance, construed as being homosexual.

    Thank God this practice is getting less now, but I have seen so called doctors and experts appearing on television condemming any form of anal activity other than it's natural function as dangerous or prejudicial to health and biggot-minded comics criticising all homosexual activity and making hurtful jokes about it. The problem is this sticks in the 'macho' mind and reinforces the attitudes that some men were raised with.

    Whilst it may be true you have to be careful what you use on/up the anus (we don't want any embarrassing questions at the A and E department), as long as the toy is properly designed and thought out from reputable supplier, then an awful lot of fun can be had from anal and prostate stimulation.

    As Fluffbags said, without directly quoting, a bad experience can also put people off anal. Rushed play, failure to relax or give suffcient time to relax and badly/insufficiently lubricated toys are common causes of men who have tried it, not wanting to try again.

    Lack of empathy from a partner can also be a root cause.or macho mates who make jokes about it being 'gay'.

    I am straight man (I always thought that was a stupid term anyway) and happily married with great sex life. However, we enjoy pegging, etc and this would have me branded as homosexual in macho-man's eyes or indeed my friend's eyes (not that we discuss our sex-life with anyone as that is our private business and on here we have complete anonymity). Being homosexual, means wanting a loving and/or a sexual relationship with a person of the same sex, not what you desire to do within your own sex life.

    It's good that attitudes are changing, but it's too slow. Homosexuality is, thankfully, now more accepted as a normal lifestyle and being called (regardless of orientation) 'gay', hopefully won't have the same impact on people as it once did and will lead to a 'so what?' attitude in society.

    I have a maxim in life that says, do whatever makes you happy, as long as you don't hurt, upset or embarass any other person in doing it. Also, and this is covered by the my maxim, keep it legal.

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    Mr. Loverman [sign in to see picture]
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    Men who havent tried shouldn't knock it. Its an immense feeling, very sexy n kinky and i cant imagine doing without it now.

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    [suspended user]

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    Narrow-thinking men, men with prejudice and what their friends think and what they were taught.

    Even from an early age those who are plagued with the girls, called him gay.

    As others have written, thought to narrow, causing men to think that pleasure anal makes them gay.

    I think women who do anal sex with thier oh, and want to do the same thing on his ass.

    Need to draw a red line, until her man won't try anal sex up his ass; there is no more anal sex for his hard horny cock.

    enjoy life...sex is good....sextoys is fun....

    XOXO

    J.J.

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    Oboy [sign in to see picture]
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    I've followed this thread since RuSo started it, and have to agree with the "live and let live" vibe that's prominent throughout. My OH can be very inhibited, and unadventurous (compared to others), yet sensual and passionate too, and now I'm curious as to what her opinion is on this thread. It's not that I've developed a desire to receive , during anal play, but I've enjoyed teasing hers more recently and have been *in her* for the first time also. I'll have to ask to know.

    I think Jimtech's comment about learning how sexuality should be more accepted, and not unnecessarily criticaly judged (my own view), sums up how this subject should be viewed, and not narrow mindedly by others. It's a watershed for me to read all your comments, and I can only say what respect I have for all yours.

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    Aqualaria [sign in to see picture]
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    Unfortunately, the "gay" thing is drilled into you at school. Anything someone doesn't like it "gay", and that is obviously a bad thing.

    Now, when I was at school (about 20 years ago), a woman receiving anal was also a bad thing, and almost never heard of (although undoubtably did actually happen).

    Some time over that 20 years, anal for a woman turned from bad to expected, but anal for a man without being gay has not followed suit.

    I asked my best male friend about anal, when he was talking about wanting his gf to allow him. I suggested he offer pegging in return, and he was disgusted (still). I decided not to tell him about what me and my OH get up to!

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