• men who say no to anal play

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    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
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    ive noticed on a couple of threads that there are several of the LH boys who are adamant they will never , not , no , NEVER let anything go up their rear ends ..

    now . im a nosey so and so , so if you wouldnt mind ,, care to explain why ? please thank you

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    blonde vixen13 [sign in to see picture]
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    My oh is a no no to anal! I managed to get him to use a but plug once. Took about an hour to. Get it in because he wouldn't relax and then he took it out straight away. Aparently it's an exit only hole yet he's happy to stick things up mine!

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    bumblebee [sign in to see picture]
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    my ex always said no, till I slipped a finger up there while sucking him :P

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    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
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    Naughty nurse 85 wrote:

    My oh is a no no to anal! I managed to get him to use a but plug once. Took about an hour to. Get it in because he wouldn't relax and then he took it out straight away. Aparently it's an exit only hole yet he's happy to stick things up mine!

    this is what makes me curious . why are men so happy .. even eager to shove it all up in our peaches but nothinh in theirs ? ( disclaimer: i know this does not apply to all men and there are some very happy butt player males on this forum , this is just a question aimed at the naysayers )

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    MissChar [sign in to see picture]
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    I think quite a lot of it is that they think its 'gay', if they subscribe to social constructions and stigmas of masculinity etc.

    my oh wont let me even lay a finger for a second on his bum cheek, even through clothes. He totally freaks, such a shame he's got the nicest bum!!! And I always wanna GRAB! But I don't!

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    blonde vixen13 [sign in to see picture]
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    He seems to be under the impression that it will make him gay lol.

    I dunno he's not very good at explaining it to me. It took three years to get him to try a but plug and that was only because I told him
    He wasn't getting any more anal again until he experienced it x

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    FrozenAngel [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm not into Anal at all, I tried it once a long time ago and pretty sure I'll never try it again. My OH is also strict no anal, he wouldn't put anything up his, and he'd never put himself in a girls lol. So I guess it worked out for us. My ex would always try and make me do it, I just said to him listen I'll give it another go as soon as you let me stick a dildo up your ass. He soon stopped mithering me about it.

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    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    rubysoho wrote:

    Naughty nurse 85 wrote:

    My oh is a no no to anal! I managed to get him to use a but plug once. Took about an hour to. Get it in because he wouldn't relax and then he took it out straight away. Aparently it's an exit only hole yet he's happy to stick things up mine!

    this is what makes me curious . why are men so happy .. even eager to shove it all up in our peaches but nothinh in theirs ? ( disclaimer: i know this does not apply to all men and there are some very happy butt player males on this forum , this is just a question aimed at the naysayers )

    I think this is just personal choice, in that, not everything you do together must be a two way street, for example some women might love giving oral but receiving it leaves them cold, or some people like to feel pain and are happy to get spanked but others not so much. I person can fantasise about spanking their partner (or anally penetrating them) but at the same time not fancy the idea of being spanked (or anally penetrated back)

    I kind of see where you are coming from though with this one. Anal sex is not something you can just bang right into (And I have experienced the guys who assumed that a little spit and a lot of pushing would lead to satisfactory anal) and I feel like they should at least experiment on their own asses to get some idea of exactly why lots of people shy away from anal with someone who is trying to rush it or isnt aware of how painful it can be if they do. My partner actually commented after he started experimenting with anal, on just how he did not realise how slow you have to be. He even apologised! lol. This theory I guess is, if you want to do something to someone else you should at least be prepared to practise and experiement on yourself to see how it feels and how not to cause injury or a bad experience. That goes for spanking instruments too.

    The fact is, lots and lots of people get put off anal forever based on one or two bad experiences, usually a rushed experience that caused pain. It doesn't have to be like that but it is hard to imagine how this could be enjoyable if you have only experienced hurt. :(

    The other thing that crosses my mind is the stereotype that enjoying or wanting to experience anal as a man must either mean you are secretly gay, or if not, the act will turn you gay. This is the silliest narrow minded stereotype towards sex, imo. Firstly, you don't 'catch' homosexuality, you either are or are not (or curious) and as I have said before, not all gay men even like anal penetration, and lots of gay men love blowjobs, kissing, handjobs, etc. Should we rule these out too, you know, just in case they 'turn' all men gay? It is so silly it makes me angry that men have to put up with this nonsense crap, usually spewed by narrow minded friends or internet trolls! So let's be clear gents, the sexual acts you perform do not set your sexuality anymore than liking the colour pink or Justin beiber (Also I reserve the right to mock for the last one lol) What sets your sexuality is WHO you want to do the acts with, not what you enjoy doing.

    I cannot really blame guys who think this way, after all, they grow up pretty much from primary school being called benders if they so much as wear their hair long or something, and it travels with them through life, becoming something you "must not be" for fear of ridicule and scorn from peers, in much the same way as slut shaming does for females. It all sucks.

    The last reason i can think of is similar to the first, that they have tried it and just do not like it at all. And thats fair enough. We all have things we do not enjoy. Although, in the same respect, I think it unfair, gents, to assume it is something ladies should be more willing to do, just because it has become popular and is in almost every porn movie available. Don't pressure your lady (Think of all the reasons you are so against getting penetrated anally. maybe she feels the same way, even if it does seem more "normal" for women to accept anal, all bums were built equal, mens and womens.) and let it go, or be prepared for her to retaliate in exactly this response: "You first" and hey, if you roll with that, good for you and maybe both of you will open doors you had never peeked into before and opened up a whole world of fun, but if it is a no, then understand, women feel quite upset if we feel you are hankering for something we just cannot do. that sucks too, but of course it works both ways. Sometimes we have to put those fantasies back in the filing cabinet of our minds and work on something else.

    I still subscribe to this: "You don't know until you have tried it" :D

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    danslack [sign in to see picture]
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    tryed it,, my self 1st..love it . think wife loves giving it me tooo :P

    1377290109
    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
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    Fluffbags wrote:

    rubysoho wrote:

    Naughty nurse 85 wrote:

    My oh is a no no to anal! I managed to get him to use a but plug once. Took about an hour to. Get it in because he wouldn't relax and then he took it out straight away. Aparently it's an exit only hole yet he's happy to stick things up mine!

    this is what makes me curious . why are men so happy .. even eager to shove it all up in our peaches but nothinh in theirs ? ( disclaimer: i know this does not apply to all men and there are some very happy butt player males on this forum , this is just a question aimed at the naysayers )

    I think this is just personal choice, in that, not everything you do together must be a two way street, for example some women might love giving oral but receiving it leaves them cold, or some people like to feel pain and are happy to get spanked but others not so much. I person can fantasise about spanking their partner (or anally penetrating them) but at the same time not fancy the idea of being spanked (or anally penetrated back)

    I kind of see where you are coming from though with this one. Anal sex is not something you can just bang right into (And I have experienced the guys who assumed that a little spit and a lot of pushing would lead to satisfactory anal) and I feel like they should at least experiment on their own asses to get some idea of exactly why lots of people shy away from anal with someone who is trying to rush it or isnt aware of how painful it can be if they do. My partner actually commented after he started experimenting with anal, on just how he did not realise how slow you have to be. He even apologised! lol. This theory I guess is, if you want to do something to someone else you should at least be prepared to practise and experiement on yourself to see how it feels and how not to cause injury or a bad experience. That goes for spanking instruments too.

    The fact is, lots and lots of people get put off anal forever based on one or two bad experiences, usually a rushed experience that caused pain. It doesn't have to be like that but it is hard to imagine how this could be enjoyable if you have only experienced hurt. :(

    The other thing that crosses my mind is the stereotype that enjoying or wanting to experience anal as a man must either mean you are secretly gay, or if not, the act will turn you gay. This is the silliest narrow minded stereotype towards sex, imo. Firstly, you don't 'catch' homosexuality, you either are or are not (or curious) and as I have said before, not all gay men even like anal penetration, and lots of gay men love blowjobs, kissing, handjobs, etc. Should we rule these out too, you know, just in case they 'turn' all men gay? It is so silly it makes me angry that men have to put up with this nonsense crap, usually spewed by narrow minded friends or internet trolls! So let's be clear gents, the sexual acts you perform do not set your sexuality anymore than liking the colour pink or Justin beiber (Also I reserve the right to mock for the last one lol) What sets your sexuality is WHO you want to do the acts with, not what you enjoy doing.

    I cannot really blame guys who think this way, after all, they grow up pretty much from primary school being called benders if they so much as wear their hair long or something, and it travels with them through life, becoming something you "must not be" for fear of ridicule and scorn from peers, in much the same way as slut shaming does for females. It all sucks.

    The last reason i can think of is similar to the first, that they have tried it and just do not like it at all. And thats fair enough. We all have things we do not enjoy. Although, in the same respect, I think it unfair, gents, to assume it is something ladies should be more willing to do, just because it has become popular and is in almost every porn movie available. Don't pressure your lady (Think of all the reasons you are so against getting penetrated anally. maybe she feels the same way, even if it does seem more "normal" for women to accept anal, all bums were built equal, mens and womens.) and let it go, or be prepared for her to retaliate in exactly this response: "You first" and hey, if you roll with that, good for you and maybe both of you will open doors you had never peeked into before and opened up a whole world of fun, but if it is a no, then understand, women feel quite upset if we feel you are hankering for something we just cannot do. that sucks too, but of course it works both ways. Sometimes we have to put those fantasies back in the filing cabinet of our minds and work on something else.

    I still subscribe to this: "You don't know until you have tried it" :D

    you read my mind and spoke my words :)

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    bumblebee [sign in to see picture]
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    beautifully said fluffbags :D

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    blonde vixen13 [sign in to see picture]
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    I think a big part of it stems from my oh going to an all boys boarding school and then being in the army. It's been drummed into him that "anal sex" is gay and wrong etc for men to do, unless there doing it to there gf.... Then that makes them the big man!

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    Cat Lady [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree with Fluffbags. Nobody should be compelled to do anything sexual if they don't want to.

    While I don't know very much on the subject, I always figured one reason men might not want to receive anal sex, besides the fact that they may not fancy it, is that they are socially conditioned against it. Historically, for men the receiving role is associated with submission i.e. a "woman''s role, so it has associations with weakness in a society which is still patriarchal in many ways.

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    I have to 100% agree with that naughty nurse babe it's just men have this frame of mind that its gay. But that's only cause its been forced into their minds.

    My partner would never let me go nears his bum ever but lucky for me and him I don't want to

    He told me an ex tried to stick a finger up there when they was kissing once and he totally freaked out lol.

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    myothertoy [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm open to the idea, if I want to stick something up hers, then why not? Haven't had anything up there yet, but certainly wouldn't say no and the OH knows this.

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    saucey21 [sign in to see picture]
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    Naughty nurse 85 wrote:

    My oh is a no no to anal! I managed to get him to use a but plug once. Took about an hour to. Get it in because he wouldn't relax and then he took it out straight away. Aparently it's an exit only hole yet he's happy to stick things up mine!

    he let me stick my finger up there once but not for long. but he's not keen on sticking anything up my bum either. he does it to please me. won't go bareback and lately won't even with condom on. so i've been trying to find the right toy to see if this might be the way forward. fingers crossed 'cos i love bum fun!!

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    MrsMcX [sign in to see picture]
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    Yep, I think men think its 'gay'. But it's also quite a strange thing to get over. I thought I would never have anal sex and I didn't actually realise that it could be enjoyable. It ended up that when I enjoyed it, I wanted my OH to so stuck a finger up! Haha! Turned out it wasn't as bad as he though and things have progressed slightly since then, but I still think he's a bit iffy by it.

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    BigBikeGuy [sign in to see picture]
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    I was a bit anti but as I've got older and more confident with my body and at ease with all types of sexuality I'm happy to try anything anal... I'd draw the like at another bloke though!

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    BDSM [sign in to see picture]
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    so when a woman doesn't want anal, it's fear of pain or mess or just not comfortable with the idea, it doesn't appeal or turn them on.

    When a man doesn't want anal, it's because he thinks it might mean he is gay.

    I think we do men a dis-service by assumining they can't think beyond the idea of being gay.

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    KebertXela [sign in to see picture]
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    ****ed if I know.

    Id throw out a guess that theres a control / vulnerability issue in there somewhere.

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