• my boyfriends fantasy is to have sex with me up the bottom :0

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    Jessica_Rabbit<3 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hello hello,

    Just wanted to get a bit of advice...

    Soo as the title describes my boyfriend is totally obsessed with the idea of having anal sex with me...

    1. He has never done it before so its a major turn on for him that I'm seriously considering it... starting to think I've gone mad but I love him so much and want to make him happy.

    2. I'm scared it's going to hurt no matter how much lube is used he has a massive shlong no jokes

    3. I really don't want to poop my pants :0

    4. It's going to be my first time and need advice on how to go about it so it has the potential to be enjoyable for both of us...

    So yeah help I'm freaking out agghhhh :0 :0

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    blonde vixen13 [sign in to see picture]
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    Ok firstly I would advise you don't do it unless your really sure it's what you want

    Amal sex isn't like normal sex, you can't just dive straight in there. It can take some people weeks or months of training before they can take a penis

    I would advise you buy an anal lube and beginners but plug to see if you can take that. If you rush into it without practice you probably will hurt yourself.

    You won't poop but good hygiene is required. You can buy anal douches to clean the area.

    Remember if you do use any toys or fingers or penis anally make sure they are washed before they go near your vagina as it can lead to transference of germs and cause infections such as thrush

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    WeeSteve [sign in to see picture]
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    ok well first off i wouldnt go straight into him using his "massive shlong".

    If its your first time it will hurt, you need to start small and work up to larger things otherwise you could tare somthing and cause more pain.

    Try a butt plug starter kit which has diffrent sizes to work yourself up a little.

    And when the time comes to do anal warm up your bottom first with one of those toys or a few fingers.

    If your worried about poo, then you can use an anal douche or enema to rinse yourself out.

    I try and do it about 20 mins before anal play as it can leave you feeling a bit queezy for a while after it.

    My number 1 advice is dont rush into it! it will not be fun and you will most likly avoid it in the future if you have a bad first experiance.

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    MissChar [sign in to see picture]
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    WeeSteve wrote:

    ok well first off i wouldnt go straight into him using his "massive shlong".

    If its your first time it will hurt, you need to start small and work up to larger things otherwise you could tare somthing and cause more pain.

    Try a butt plug starter kit which has diffrent sizes to work yourself up a little.

    And when the time comes to do anal warm up your bottom first with one of those toys or a few fingers.

    If your worried about poo, then you can use an anal douche or enema to rinse yourself out.

    I try and do it about 20 mins before anal play as it can leave you feeling a bit queezy for a while after it.

    My number 1 advice is dont rush into it! it will not be fun and you will most likly avoid it in the future if you have a bad first experiance.

    +1

    ive been trying for months to get myself ready for anal with my boyfriend, and I've had it before! Xx

    1377116825
    MandiVonSweiss [sign in to see picture]
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    Hey JR, Welcome to the forum!

    Well, let's get to it shall we?

    Heres one thing that we can never stress enough here at LH. Please please PLEASE never do something in the name of only making your partner happy, do it for both of you! It's completely unfair to do something if only one person is getting their rocks off.

    It will only hurt if you expect it to, Anal doesn't hurt if it's done right. It may be quite odd the first few times, and might possibly make you squirm and ache at first. However, if you're strssed about it hurting, you will tense up and it will hurt. If you wind down, chill out, plenty of foreplay, maybe a bath (Gives you time to clean and make sure you're all fresh down there too!) then you'll be nice and relaxed! Also, There's no such thing as too much lube! As soon as you feel friction, apply more!

    Make sure you "go" before you get your freak on, also consider (or at least be cautious) if you have IBS, Constipation problems, bleeding when you go to the loo or have/had haemorrhoids.

    Now for the usual pointers!

    If this is a new partner, make sure you use condoms, however it's all good if you've been with your boyfriend a while, and you're both clean and you're on contraception (I know this is about anal but it's not unheard of for those determined lil wrigglers to gracefully slide down and get into your vagoo!)

    Maybe invest in some beginners anal toys so you get used to the feeling of having something in there, then work up towards a toy thats near, or matches, the girth/length of your partner.

    And also...

    LOTS OF LUBE! ALL OF THE LUBE IN THE WORLD IF YOU HAVE TO!!! :)

    P.S Try out these sections to get you started!

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/buyers-guide/

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex/lubricants/buyers-guide/a-quick-and-easy-guide-to-anal-lubricants/

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    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
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    i have to say i disagree with the above ( sorry ) i had never used an anal toy before and when i first had anal we just went slowly but .. dove right in so to speak and i loved it ! its not always a case of needing training . . . i think the build up for so long can make you more nervy and tense .

    do NOT DO IT IF YOURE UNSURE .. but also dont panic about it if you really do want to do it

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    Alastor [sign in to see picture]
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    Get yourself a copy of Tristan Taormino's guide. Read. And if necessary make him read before acting.
    He will then understand the processes as briefly outlined above, and one hopes will realise it isn't an instant trouble-free act the way porn often depicts.

    If you take the time you will probably both love it.

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    KinkyFuckery [sign in to see picture]
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    Best advice I have take it nice and slow , lube lube lube , start off small and dont get eyes bigger than your belly .

    LH have a great buyers guide -http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/

    I started off with http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=13085

    Then got a butt plug so you are used to slipping something inside you - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16053 or you could buy a kit and work your way up - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=3539

    I then got a douche - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=952 dead easy to use and simple and makes you clean esp when your using bigger toys as I worked my way up to an anal dildo to get to used to the fact that he will be inside me - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16726

    Then I brought http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=17072 to get fill what it will be like,

    Honestly try it slow if you enjoy it you enjoy it its not for everyone, dont put any pressure on yourself slow and lube it taken me about 6 months to work my way up, just taken it at my own pace.

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    delilahxx [sign in to see picture]
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    rubysoho wrote:

    i have to say i disagree with the above ( sorry ) i had never used an anal toy before and when i first had anal we just went slowly but .. dove right in so to speak and i loved it ! its not always a case of needing training . . . i think the build up for so long can make you more nervy and tense .

    do NOT DO IT IF YOURE UNSURE .. but also dont panic about it if you really do want to do it

    Agree with this

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    MissChar [sign in to see picture]
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    I do agree with ruby to an extent. I had anal with a previous partner without practising as such,

    BUT my boyfriend now has a 'massive shlong' and even when we tried to take it slow it just didn't and won't work, and if we had just gone for it even slowly I would have definitely hurt myself! So I'm practising now :)

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    saucey21 [sign in to see picture]
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    delilahxx wrote:

    rubysoho wrote:

    i have to say i disagree with the above ( sorry ) i had never used an anal toy before and when i first had anal we just went slowly but .. dove right in so to speak and i loved it ! its not always a case of needing training . . . i think the build up for so long can make you more nervy and tense .

    do NOT DO IT IF YOURE UNSURE .. but also dont panic about it if you really do want to do it

    Agree with this

    me too. we had loads of foreplay before, lots of lube and we started with 1 finger then 2 slowly slowly. then we dove straight in so to speak but slowly slowly little bit at a time. it helps if you play with yourself too either a bullet or fingers. the first few times it can feel like you need to poo. but that feeling soon goes. a condom really helps to keep things smooth. and use lots of lube. i wouldn't recommend any desensitising gels or creams. i love bum sex it my solo toys of choice.

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    SophieM [sign in to see picture]
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    Won't really add anything to what people have said previously as there is some good advice!

    You said your bf is rather big, so I would probably agree with and recommend some warming up prior to anal sex. A small-medium sized butt plug would probably be okay for you to get used to having something there. And obviously use lots of lube! :)

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    [suspended user]

    suspended user
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    Well let me start by saying my partner is also very big and it was very hard at first. I used this to help http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=13504 it really did help me a lot.

    I always start off using small toys on myself while my partner watches then build up to bigger toys till I feel like I can take my partners dick comfortably.

    Always use lots of lube and take it slow if it hurts stop right away and try again another day.

    Good luck! =)

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    xKayteex [sign in to see picture]
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    The first time i did anal i didnt even considder it to be a big deal and it was fine and the guy wasnt the smallest downstairs i just relaxed as i wanted it it was fine i enjoyed it i think the more u think about it and get tense it will be more painfull and could go wrong.. Im not a expert but wanted to share my experiance but like others say defo dont do it unless u want too

    Enjoy! I do recomend it :)

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    Janny [sign in to see picture]
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    It is every mans fantasy, wether they admit it or not. Sadly for me it still remains a fantasy, but maybe on day...

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    him'n'her [sign in to see picture]
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    MandiVonSweiss wrote:

    Heres one thing that we can never stress enough here at LH. Please please PLEASE never do something in the name of only making your partner happy, do it for both of you! It's completely unfair to do something if only one person is getting their rocks off.

    A very sweeping statement and one I would have to disagree with. I don't see anything wrong with doing something just to please your partner. Surely we all want to please our partners.

    Perhaps it would be better to say don't allow yourself to be forced into something you really don't want to do.

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    Johnny Roach [sign in to see picture]
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    rubysoho wrote:

    i have to say i disagree with the above ( sorry ) i had never used an anal toy before and when i first had anal we just went slowly but .. dove right in so to speak and i loved it ! its not always a case of needing training . . . i think the build up for so long can make you more nervy and tense .

    do NOT DO IT IF YOURE UNSURE .. but also dont panic about it if you really do want to do it

    I agree with this too. My oh much preferred the idea of me inside her of rather than a toy. So we started off with a finger for her to get used to it then went straight in with my cock. Go at a pace that's comfortable with you and if it does start to feel uncomfortable, don't get him to pull out right away, hold on for a few seconds and gradually ease it out. This will be less of a shock to you and will hurt less in my experience. And use lots of lube! The more the better!
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    dirty_boy [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree with Ruby too.

    I have wanted to have anal with my OH for years and its only recently that she has admitted that she liked being "teased" there, we explored this further and progressed to fingering and a "tap through" which drove her wild.

    From then we progressed to anal intercourse with no training or toys, which she didn't fancy and found a turn off. We just took it really slow and used a lot of lube.

    For me it's instantly enjoyable, and for her it's something she thinks she will grow to enjoy, but certainly not something that she thought was unpleasant or wouldn't do again (we've done it twice now).

    Good luck and I hope it works out for you and your partner.

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    Mary3 [sign in to see picture]
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    I have anal several times in the past, an ex had a huge one.... I found that through play with his finger rather than toys I gradually accepted his cock, I used to get him to give me a big orgasm orally and finger my butt and then ease his way in, position and not too much thrusting on his part are key.... That being said its got to be something that YOU want to do.... Take your time and enjoy :-D xx

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    trailerguy61 [sign in to see picture]
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    Posted before probably as others have.

    You need to quantify "massive schlong" lol,

    From personal experience with an ex who`d been into it in the past, hadnt done it in a while but felt safe and comfortable with our relationship to start doing it again, she would always stipulate being on her back, mostly with her ass just off the bed, legs up ankles around or close on my shoulders, relaxed having enjoyed cumming previously, having enjoyed lots of foreplay wherein she would feel as relaxed as it were possible to be it was always her who was in control, which since he apparently has this massive schlong you similarly need to be.

    Irrespective of whether you love him to pieces and want to do anything and everything to please him your both anal virgins.

    Wanting or being excited at the prospect of having anal sex shouldnt think he has the green light to just bang it in there.

    Similarly in your/his case, training your ass over days/weeks slowly upping the size of butt plugs or any other ass training devices you may or may not choose to use might just equally kill off any desire to be spontaneous or experimental because at the end of the day, whether his "schlong" is average or "massive" it`s still going to be softer, more flexible and pliable/bendable, adaptable than any hard/rigid butt plug etc.

    Get relaxed, set aside an evening where you can enjoy a romantic meal, bathe or shower together, neither of you talk (even tho you might think about doing the deed) about tonites the nite and enjoy foreplay,full body massage, sex in various forms, sit on him facing away and let him glance your ass, when your relaxed and happy, lead the way and be in control, at least one of you needs to be in control, maybe better if you give the impression your more in control since it`s your ass.

    Have lots of lube handy, squirt it on him if you feel like it, rub it onto/into his "schlong" and guide him, tell him what it feels like, manouvre yourself comfortable, tell him to go slow, tell him to stop, dont be surprised if at some stage, even right at the penetrative very beginning if he cums due to your tightness, the excitement of the moment, its fun to experiment, personal experience it was only after lots of practise and fun times fooling around but always and every time, face on and listening, feeling moving, saying stop, relax, saying ok he can ease into you a little more, stop start repeat etc, only then will you both get what your looking to do.

    If you both think it`s just lube you need and hey ho away you go your wrong, its practise and patience, understanding, empathy and communication.

    As and when you finally get to the point where he`s in your ass and your comfortable and you tell him he`s ok to fuck you as he would on any other occasion and you achieve an anal orgasm or two will you realise how important patience and communication really are.

    Ok theres most likely lots who`ll say they just got into it and did it on the spur of the moment just like there`ll be those who say they got by with a bit of spit for lubricant.

    Anal is a very highly charged and highly intimate and erotic thing to share, doing it proper and in a relaxed sharing controlled atmosphere will be what gets you coming back for more rather than coming back saying "it hurt, never gonna let him near my ass again".

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