• Links between humiliation and sexual arousal?

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    Bad Kitty uk [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi all

    How’s everyone doing today? Anyway another question for all of you out there :)

    Earlier today me and the OH were having a discussion about what we wanted to try next sex wise, and general chatting about our likes and dislikes in the bedroom (or wherever the mood takes us!). We both realised that we greatly enjoy humiliation both giving and receiving. Now we have never deliberated thought of the link between our bedroom antics and humiliation, however we realised that this part of our enjoyment. The more we thought about the links, the more disturbed we got. Neither of us could explain why we loved humiliating each other and why it turned us on so much. Outside our bedroom acts we are always very respectful and quite old fashioned people in the sense that we are very prim and proper always maintain good manors. Our jobs also demand us to act professionally at all times both on and off the clock in public.

    However then when you look at what we get up to in the bedroom there’s all kind of (what some would call disgusting) kinky acts. For example we both enjoy watersports, wetting, desperation play, bondage, chastity, domination, and various other fetishes, even light pony play. On occasion these have moved into our daily lives such as chastity play. My other half also admitted to getting a massive kick out of making me wear dirty knickers during day to day living (ie wet from getting excited or even a combination of both our sexual fluids).

    The more we talked about it, the more shocked we were at how much enjoyment we got through humiliation of each other. Is this the case for anyone else? can anyone else raise their hand and admit they enjoy humiliating their partners for sexual arousal. Or are the OH and me really just that strange haha?

    1376272152
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    It is very common, especially in BDSM, but even in nilla sex, humiliation is a personal feeling. Some could say they feel humiliated from something as simple as a word, or being asked to show yourself naked and with the lights on or being bent over to receive a spank, right up to more extreme forms of humiliation. The thrill as the adrenaline kicks in and you stand there feeling slightly edgy, nervous, shame even.

    I am no therapist and this is something I would like to look into more, but from my experience with humiliation, I feel vunerable, un-nerved and at his mercy and whims. I feel his power over me so much more vividly when I am allowing this person to humiliate me for his pleasure and I am doing as I am asked, to please this person. I am putting a huge amount of trust in him. That in turn makes me feel closer to that person, and much more likely to feel submissive and to feel myself submit more deeply than I usually would. Seeing him confident and powerful like that is a turn on and taking that extra step to do something that could potentially lead to feeling a little shame or dirtiness is a kick, an adrenaline boost. Erghh I suck at this (Its past bed time lol)

    We play like this lots and lots but it is mild. Pretty much all the ways you have described in your post and a few others. I think you will find lots of people share this fetish/fantasy. It plays with our biggest sex organ, our minds. Not weird at all x

    1376289553
    Mammame [sign in to see picture]
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    My husband loves being humiliated...he sometimes gets embarrassed about it and gets a bit worried. I always try to reassure him it's normal and if that's what he likes then its fine. I enjoy a bit of light bondage myself, but not to the extent that he likes. I'm really not complaining. If I tell him he's awful and has a small member it makes it mind blowing ha ha x

    1376321031
    BlankeMaus [sign in to see picture]
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    As long as you're both ok with it and it makes you both happy then what's the problem.

    Although I'd probably be a cat instead of a pony.

    Be happy and don't overthink it, you're not harming eachother or anyone else.

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