• Is thinking i have lived a sheltered life

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    LilMissMardyBum [sign in to see picture]
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    Ok i have been with my oh for nearly 7 years several things have happend during our realationship that have made our sex life pretty non existant so because of this, i decided to take the plunge and look for somethings to help, i have always been a tad umm uncomfy regarding sex and espcially using toys and aids, my sister calls me lil miss prim and proper.and several other things, she seems to be very liberated not many sex toys and things she hasnt tried,and well we chatted regarding current events,and she suggested that i find some things that may help me, break lil miss prim and propper, so thats when i came across love honey and the forums, im finding out new things everyday, and with these new things come many questions, some are a tad silly and embarrasing to ask, so i was wondering where would,a sex toy virgin like me get answers from, any books you could suggest that i could read i really want to excite my partner and break free from the current me,

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    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
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    ask away on here , theres plenty of people always willing to offer help and advice x

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    Yes man [sign in to see picture]
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    To be honest this forum is a good start, Lots of good advice as well as tips from people who are experienced in what they do,

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    Lovehoney - Jess Wilde [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Heavens Poison

    So glad to have you here! Good for you for taking the plunge and trying something new :)

    Rubysoho is totally right! If you have any particular questions feel free to ask away here on the forums (everyone is really lovely and helpful!) or browse our online Buyers Guides and Lovehoney TV for tips, tricks and advice.

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    MissChar [sign in to see picture]
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    Totally agree with ruby and yesman and jess, the forums are so friendly and non judgmental, really great for advice.

    I'm not sure about books, but if you're looking to excite your partner and slowly spice things up, some of the games and gifts on here are a gentle and fun way to do so! I know they worked for me :) xx

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    MrsMcX [sign in to see picture]
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    You're not alone, I've been in the same position, as well as many many others on here so you've come to the right place.

    I haven't tried any books, but when we kick started our sex life again we got this

    http://m.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/vibrators/vibrator-kits/lovehoney-sexier-life-starter-pack/

    The contents have changed slightly, but it was a brilliant little starter to "get back on the saddle", with toys for him and her.

    There's also a premium version, that I wish I had of gotten first, but it has only just become available and I think it's fab!!

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28482

    The good thing about them is you get a good variety of toys so you can try them out and see what you like and don't like, but we loved everything in there. And you get it all at a fraction of the price which is brilliant!!

    As far as books go, I've heard that the Tracy Cox books are brilliant. She's a 'sexpert' that works with LH and has some brilliant products, she also has some very informative videos on the website too.

    I've done a search here for her books, have a look through and read the reviews and see if there's any from others in a similar position to you that have helped you out.

    http://search.lovehoney.co.uk/search?w=Tracey+cox+book&view=grid

    For me, it was having a good chat with OH and getting over my own issues, I'm a very self conscious person after having kids, but he assured me that he still finds me very attractive and that gave me the confidence boost that I needed, along with some toys :)

    Anything you need to know you can always ask on here, but I think the real thing women need to do is love themselves, we always think the worst of ourselves and we can't see how beautiful we really are.

    Best of luck, if you need any advice, you just need to ask :)

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    LilMissMardyBum [sign in to see picture]
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    Thankyou everyone for your help and advice :)

    Basically my oh is on testosterone injections at the moment ,which seems to have effected his sex drive,going from him having no sex drive,to being i feel over sexed at times, and due to my own personal problems, i have a lack of sex drive at times, and then other times im highly sexed i dont really want to go into the reasons behind that at the moment, its a tad personal , hes obviously feeling neglected during the times i have a lack of sex drive,with him having such a high sex drive ,so i bought some vibrators,which seem pretty easy to work out what you do with them, but hes wanting someting a bit more exciting for him,he would like to try anal my eyes water at the thought of that, tbh im scared, but i have looked at the items under anal like, Butt plugs, Anal beads, Anal Douche, they had me a little confused

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    Yes man [sign in to see picture]
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    Might sound daft but try some erotic fiction, I know some who have read these books and its totally transformed there sex life's, after reading they've got so turned on they need a release! Also you can get ideas from them, it's how my OH got into anal.
    If your worried about be sean reading them get an e-reader then you can read them covertly, no one will know

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    LilMissMardyBum [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you Yes man, that is a good idea, now you mention it ,I have a good friend who writes erotic fiction, i could ask her to send me some of her writting :)

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    sephiebb [sign in to see picture]
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    If he wants to try anal then one option could be buying him a male masturbator that claims to recreate anal. http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=1822

    It's quite a long shot but I have heard that for some men, a fleshlight really does give them the anal feel when their partner is not interested.

    It's ok to be scared about anal by the way, going from nothing to a full sized man part up their will almost definetly hurt alot, and that's not fun. If he is absolutely desperate for anal I would recommed using those graduated butt plugs, the ones that start small and get bigger. I'm not explaining it well bt look at these. http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=22287

    If you start with the small one and then when you feel comfortable with it move up a size then eventually you will be ready for not just comfortable anal, but positively enjoyable anal.

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    LilMissMardyBum [sign in to see picture]
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    I was just looking at the Cupid's itty bitty beginners butt plug but then i was wondering what you actually did with it and how long you would have it in for and what they actully did

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    MissChar [sign in to see picture]
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    Heavens Poison wrote:

    I was just looking at the Cupid's itty bitty beginners butt plug but then i was wondering what you actually did with it and how long you would have it in for and what they actully did

    I have that one it was my first butt plug. You put it in with loads of lube and enjoy the sort of full, stretch feeling :) can wear it for as long as comfortable, I have slept in that one comfortably xx

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    LilMissMardyBum [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you MissChar i think i will try it out

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    MissChar [sign in to see picture]
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    That's ok! I love it. Remember to use loads of lube :) xx

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    MrsMcX [sign in to see picture]
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    When you come onto a site like this you need to remember that everyone is different, and everyone likes different things. I would start out exploring each other with toys and fine out what you both like. If you don't want to try anal you don't have to, and you shouldn't until you're 100% ready, because you need to be as relaxed as possible. If you do feel like trying it, you can work your way up by using beginners butt plugs and working your way up so it won't hurt.

    You could try - http://m.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/butt-plugs/basic-sex-toys-triple-butt-plug-set/

    Or - http://m.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/butt-plugs/jelly-jammers-scented-butt-plug-set/

    There's lots of other sets around too. I would buy some lubricant that specifically formulated for anal sex too, it's different from normal lube because its much thicker and provides a sort of cushion between you and your OH to minimise the risk of pain and/or tearing.

    You could use an anal douche if you're worried about being unclean, it will more than likely help you relax more knowing that you're going to be clean, and the beginners anal douche has some fantastic reviews I'm thinking about getting one myself - http://m.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/douches-enemas/anal-douche/

    With my first time, I knew my husband wanted to try it, but I hadn't been up for it before. Then one day we were having amazing sex and I was so turned on I just really wanted it. So we tried it, with normal lube and just took things really really slowly. It did hurt a small amount, but a lot of communication telling him when to stop and start and it went fine, I think it's because I was totally relaxed and trusted my OH.

    I've never used an anal douche, I've done it a handful of times and I've never had a problem, but I would like to get one just out of curiosity and extra assurance that I would be clean back there.

    There's also some numbing creams that you can get such as anal ease - http://m.lovehoney.co.uk/sex/better-anal-sex/anal-easing/anal-eaze-anal-desensitising-cream-14ml/

    That particular one has very good reviews, but there is other options and the 50 shades of grey range do one as well if you like that, I've never read them personally. A lot of people suggest that for your first time it's probably best if you don't use anal ease, because if it goes in too hard you won't notice until afterwards and may have some discomfort. It's best if you're fully aware of what's going on so you can stop and start and be comfortable with it.

    Hope that helps :)

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    Yes man [sign in to see picture]
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    Make sure you get plugs with large bases, some have scarily small bases and you don't want an embarrassing trip to the hospital!

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    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    Anal is definitely daunting at first. Have you had a look at Lovehoneys Anal sex for beginners guide: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/blog/2011/03/02/first-time-anal-sex-guide/

    Here is a thread that was started on the forum a while ago, from someone asking for tips and advice on anal sex for a beginner (Lots of people left some great tips) http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-toys/362-anal-sex-for-beginners-any-advice/

    I also wrote a guide to just starting experimenting with anal: http://grittywoman.co.uk/anal-guide/

    I hope these help you in some way. The itty bitty butt plug is one of the smallest plugs available but it suffers from one downside (It doesn't stay in on it's own) so it is great for laying down playing but if you are looking for something to wear, that won't slip out if you move your hands away, I suggest this as the next best thing to the itty bitty: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16665 This one isn't "much" bigger than a finger or two and it stays put nicely.

    Don't be afraid of asking any questions here. That is what this forum is for xxx

    PS: Don't let anyone make you feel inadequate for not being as "kinky" or experimental as they are. If you thoroughly enjoy your sex life then thats what matters. What YOU want. Don't let others push their ideals onto you and make you feel like poop. xxxx

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    MissChar [sign in to see picture]
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    The itty bitty never slid out of me until I started using bigger. i found it really big in me, everyone is different i spose!

    and totally agree with the PS fluffbags :) good advice as always! xx

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    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    MissChar wrote:

    The itty bitty never slid out of me until I started using bigger. i found it really big in me, everyone is different i spose!

    and totally agree with the PS fluffbags :) good advice as always! xx

    Thats interesting....Maybe I have a big butt! lol (Maybe? bahahahaha) :D As with all sex toys though, one persons bad sex toy is another persons mind blowing, omg I love this, please give me more of these, sex toy!

    1375106036
    MissChar [sign in to see picture]
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    Fluffbags wrote:

    MissChar wrote:

    The itty bitty never slid out of me until I started using bigger. i found it really big in me, everyone is different i spose!

    and totally agree with the PS fluffbags :) good advice as always! xx

    Thats interesting....Maybe I have a big butt! lol (Maybe? bahahahaha) :D As with all sex toys though, one persons bad sex toy is another persons mind blowing, omg I love this, please give me more of these, sex toy!

    LOL! You always make me laugh. I'm sure your bum is lovely :) and yup everyone is so different! xx

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