• Helped a friend get out of his "closet, but unsure if he's going about it right....

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    Hawkward [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 11
    • Joined: 19 Feb 2013

    Hey folks, been a while since a posted here.

    I have a friend online that I've spoken to for a few years, though recently we came to share the interest of crossdressing - for me more so as a fantasy while I live in my current environment. At first my friend would use the "it's an awful interest" approach, until I opened up about myself having a similar interest, and purchasing some lingerie here at LH.

    Since then, over the past week he has opened up significantly about him fantasising crossdressing, and wants to take the next step.

    But here's where things get complicated - throughout my life, I've come to get to know many people with mental illnesses. Anything from autism and speech impediments, to hyperactive disorders and the likes. I was fortunate when growing up to learn treat people that have a disability equally, and help them out when I can.

    To my knowledge, I believe my friend to have a mental illness, but I'm not sure what. I can tell from his speehc patterns after getting to know him, and he is usually very expressionate on a subject when his mind is set. What I'm worried about is that with him purchasing panties, a dress and stockings online all within a close time frame, he's maybe rushing into it too quickly, and might regret jumping so readily into crosdressing.

    The advice I gave him was to "start small". Buy some panties, see how they feel, look, and ask yourself it it's an interest you'd like to pursue more and then work yourself towards adding more to your collection. Though by getting everything at once, he isn't giving himself that time to indulge steadily to the idea of feminization.

    Also if he gets caught right off the bat, it might give him a great deal of embarassment, and scare him away from an interest that could have been something for him to enjoy.

    ---

    There's nothing much I can do just now except hear from his progress, but do you guys think I've been going about it correctly? I really do wish him all the best, and hope he finds as much enjoyment and satisfaction as he is anticipating to receive.

    I'm hoping to take this experience with a pinch of salt, just to see if I need to work on how I give advice to such a topic, since a lot of the advice I give is based upon personal experience, so many people might be different.

    Thanks in advance everyone ~

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    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 6 Mar 2013

    id say not to worry , he only bought a dress , stockings and panties , its not a LOT all at once , its not like hes gone out an within a week filled an entire double wardrobe , and chest of drawers with femme clothes and changed his persona to linda . dosent sound that rushed to be fair . i think its ace that hes got someone like you who obviously cares and worries about him though , just try not to cloister him with your concerns too much .

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    Lillybeth [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 176
    • Joined: 21 Jan 2013

    I’ve been thinking over the original post for the past week, because at first I couldn’t tell what to make of it. Obviously it comes from a good place, and I can tell you want to be supportive.

    But I don’t know what to make of the fact that you think he has a mental illness/learning impairment. I would not could autism as a mental health problem, and in fact find it harmful to do so, but from the way I read your mention of speech patterns in the post I am assuming you think he is somewhere on the autistic curve. If this is the case he is still capable of making rational choices. And this is ultimately the point; you have to let him make his own choices.

    It’s great that you gave him advice, but people are free to ignore it. Just because he bought everything at once doesn’t mean he’ll use it all at once. And even if he does maybe that’s a sign that he’s tired of waiting. If it’s too much for him then he might put it all away, but he might come back to it later. Much like everything and everyone else he’ll find the level of involvement that’s best for him. Your job as a friend is just to be supportive, and as Ruby said don’t smother him.

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