• Desperate need of help

    1372347732
    Old - But not THAT old! [sign in to see picture]
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    Wilkibo wrote:

    .... the quality of the love making is completely irrelevant; just being physically intimate will be enough.

    That's what it's all about W - being intimate.

    Sorry to hear you're out of work - not easy to find a new job when you get to our age. Good Luck!

    1372369162
    jaycloth [sign in to see picture]
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    It's the same old story.

    Both sides still love each other, divorce is far too nuclear an option.

    But sex is either non-existent or rubbish - generally because one person is saying no to everything.

    My advice is to find out just how important it is to her to not have sex (i.e. other than missionary once a week). Then explain that having a fulfilling sex life means almost everything to you - and is it really so terrible for her to do things A, B and C with you? If she says no it's not that bad - then give it a go. If she says yes, giving a blowjob is the end of her world, then you either go without for the rest of your lives, or you quit.

    Same thing happened to me. I can't leave her, so I go without.

    1372448239
    LilBikerGothChic [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm sort of coming in on the tails f this and innis I know you said you've already had a good honest chat and she's agreed agreed to go to the doc. Good progress!

    One thing you guys should definitely look at is the contraception you're using - one of the known side affects of some of the hormonal ones is a marked decrease in sex drive so this might be a contributing factor. I had this problem with the combined pill (amongst a whole host of other delightful side effects) and eventually a wonderful locum doc figured it could be the high levels of hormones screwing my body over. 7.5yrs ago I came off it and got an IUS instead and within 3 months my sex drive was way back up there.

    I'm not for a second saying this is the case for your OH but if you do think this might be part of the problem then be prepared for a possible fight with the doc if s/he isn't very clued up on contraception - my regular GP told me I was being silly when I told him my concerns about the pill (despite knowing full well all the other problems I'd had with it) and asked for something else but I persevered and it was worth it.

    Good luck with it all - you sound like a lovely bloke and I really hope it works out for you both.

    1381913606
    innis [sign in to see picture]
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    Just an update for those that remember.

    Our sex life is now much better. She seemed to have a lack of self confidence which was mostly down to getting older.

    shes now opened up, a lot :)

    We wre a lot more adventurous and we have lived out a few fantasies, mostly hers which I think is great.

    its all good now, so there is hope.

    1381916209
    mrs average [sign in to see picture]
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    innis wrote:

    Just an update for those that remember.

    Our sex life is now much better. She seemed to have a lack of self confidence which was mostly down to  getting older.

    shes now opened up, a lot :)

    We wre a lot more adventurous and we have lived out a few fantasies, mostly hers which I think is great.

    its all good now, so there is hope.

    Well done on working at your relationship. So glad to hear you are going from strength to strength.
    1381916888
    innis [sign in to see picture]
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    Than you :)

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