• Ass play for man in relationship

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    bosco [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi,

    I recently got some anal beads which my girlfriend and I use from time to time on me as she's just not into anal stuff at all. The thing is I would like to try a prostate massager but do you think this is going a bit far considering my girlfriend is not into any ass play herself? Also if anyone has any ideas on how i could introduce her to ass play then please let me know.

    What do girls think of their male partners who like anal play?

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    DazzlingDeviant [sign in to see picture]
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    I adore men who will let me play with their ass ..... I dont like mine played with either but I love playing with his.

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    Louise&James [sign in to see picture]
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    Hello!

    Mr J and I decided to get some toys to spice things up and our first was a prostate masager. the first time we used it OH was like rock and i could feel the vibrations through him! bonus. i was sort of on the fence over the idea at first but after the first time he lasted longer enjoyed it more and vibrated ;) since then i've gone from a bit of a "toys aint really my thing" to where the hell is the key to the magic box under the bed!" To be honest we've never looked back

    My tips are:

    If she's affraid of any mess condoms are great just take it off inside out, throw it in the bin and give it a quick rub down with a wipe.

    or so much better get a waterproof submersible one and get it on in the shower no mess to sort and you'll be relaxed making for a more comfortable experience

    explain that you understand that she doesnt like anal stuff and explain that because you like to do it doesnt mean that you want to do it to her. i was really worried about this first time!

    Another thing i was worried about was i thought that enjoying anal maybe meant in some way that he was thinking about sex with a man :S im actually ashamed to admit my silly thoughts on that one! it wasn't like that at all and all he wanted to do was have us face to face and him please me whilst enjoying the massage just explain that the p spot is the male equivalent to the g spot in that it intensifies everything go as far as buying her a toy, a classy one like a nice g spot vibrator or something

    We have great fun and its all about enjoying each other its a great treat for him!

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    WeeSteve [sign in to see picture]
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    Louise&James wrote:

    Another thing i was worried about was i thought that enjoying anal maybe meant in some way that he was thinking about sex with a man :S im actually ashamed to admit my silly thoughts on that one!

    No need to feel silly about thinking that as lets be honest, id say 90% of guys would think the same thing.

    I know i did before i started doing anal play, and once i started to enjoy it i was like " wait, does this mean im gay?" Which is such a stupid thing.

    Being gay has no real realtion to taking it up the arse, i like the idea of a shemale taking me from behind, so thats a cock up there. but im not attracted to men thus not gay :D

    Obvs i dont have anything against gay people, and i know some people on here dont like the word "gay" and prefer homosexual but well, im expremly lazy and can noy be botherd to write that out everytime, so i appolgisie if that anoyed/offends you!

    For the OP. Explain to her that you like the idea of it, she might even be interested in "pegging", which if you dont know, is her using a strap on and having her way with your bottom!

    Some girls love the idea of doing that, some seem to be rather repulsed by the idea, but the problem is, you cant really know what she likes unless you talk about it

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    Khaleesi [sign in to see picture]
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    I completely agree with what has been said above by dazzlingdeviant, louiseandjames and weesteve.

    I don’t think it’s a step too far at all. If you explain the p-spot is the male g-spot and the pleasure it could bring to you when it’s stimulated (hands free orgasm!) then I’m sure she’d at least consider it. Personally I think it would be better to have a full and frank discussion away from the bedroom so you can ease any worries she might have about doing it. As WeeSteve said “you can’t really know what she likes unless you talk about it”.

    For example lots of girls don’t like the idea of doing anal play on their guys because they become squeamish at the thought of inserting a finger ‘up there’ on themselves let alone anyone else! This is most commonly due to the fear of mess. Other reasons include toys getting lost and the thought that there partner might be secretly homosexual (very VERY silly- but if she is worrying about it then you need to talk about it).

    Firstly you can also use a douche or enema to remove the worry about mess.

    I’d highly recommend this http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=692 which I recently reviewed. It’s finger size so isn’t intimidating. This would provide great stimulation for you because of the curved tip so it hits the p-spot every time or it can be used to stimulate her g-spot. It is slim though so if you’re looking for something larger and more targeted p-spot stimulation then this is a good way to go http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=23982. Alternatively you can always invest in an anal kit which can look quite girly and pretty with all the colour co-ordinating toys and let her be in control trying the toys out on you... She may even be tempted herself! You can then work your way up to using a larger prostate massager like those in the Rocks Off range if she’s comfortable with it.

    Hope this helps! Xx

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    KinkyFuckery [sign in to see picture]
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    I love the fact my OH has toys & we play together for me it was unusally as my ex wouldnt even buy me a toy but with T its compeletly different & I love it that we have the confidence to share toys together , I have to say I was a littlle nerverous and still am when I play with T & use his toys as I am worried that I am going to hurt him . Commication is key talking through and listening to each other and guiding.

    With your OH I would take it slow dont force it on her , buy a toy for you use it on your own then introduce it say I would like to have a BJ well that is in my ass , some girls think anal is dirty & that was my first worry when I did anal but having a douche & being a clean as possible. Explain to her why you like ie it make my orgasmines more intense, doesnt mean your gay or you want a man you just want to try something new .

    Commincation is key .

    Good luck

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    bigstu [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree with the general sentiments, my OH was reluctant initally to engage in a little ass play, I had to persuade her that I would tell her if she was hurting me. I worked away and engaged with various solo play sex toys so was comfortable, she now loves playing with my ass.

    To the extent that she loves to peg me on a regular basis, and yes I love it and she loves it too. She will accept anal occassionally with lots of lube. Neither are put off by any potential mess although I do try to make myself as clean as I can, short of using a purgative, which is deeply unpleasant.

    As KF wrote, communication is the key and chatting through what you are looking for is key

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    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    I think everyone else has basically covered my thoughts. Just thought I would chime in that my partner and I also enjoy playing with his prostate and I don't think there is anything strange about it. Its a male erogenous zone after all, it just so happens to be up the bum. So be it.

    As one person commented, there is still a misconception among some people that enjoying bum play means you might be interested in men. I say this...You are gay if you have relationships with men. You are "curious" if you fantasise about men or want to try sexual things with a man. You are bi curious if you want to do this with men and women and you are straight if you only want to have sex with women. Thats basically the simplicity of it, in my opinion. In other words, sexual acts do not make you gay/straight/bi....that lies with WHO you do the acts with, not WHAT you choose to do. Hope that kind of made sense. Gay guys also enjoy blowjobs, masturbating (Insert long list of things straight men also enjoy) but we don't rule these things out based on the assuption that "gay men like this, therefore am I/are you gay" so why should anal be ruled out?

    I know many men who enjoy anal, some gay, some bisexual and some straight. I really feel sad for guys who are afraid to come forward to their partners and admit to something that brings a lot of pleasure for fear of being seen as "weird" Hell, we all have our own tastes.

    Anyways, enough about that, how to tell your girlfriend. I would definitely suggest mentioning it to her. Maybe tell her that you had read about the prostate and were curious to experiment with her. Maybe start a conversation called "What would you like to try" make it a little game where you both have to list a few things that you would both love to try but not done so far. She will be opening herself up to you at the same time. Only you know if she is the kind of person to be open minded and consider this, or to use it against you or feel hurt by it in some way. Considering she also indulges and enjoys anal at the moment, I imagine that she at least will not be outright put off by the idea and will not judge you.

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    Tortuedprincess [sign in to see picture]
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    Ivr been there, done that and quickly wished I hadn't! I spent years trying to persuade my partner to let me anal play with him. He finally caved. And to my disappointment iI could never look at him the same way again.
    Have no idea why!
    I would advise to proceed with caution and communication is paramount.
    X

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    Tortuedprincess [sign in to see picture]
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    *I've

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    Nudedude [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi there, when you say shes's not into anal stuff, are you refering to the sex part, as there is more to anal than just sex, my partner does'nt like the sex part but she love the foreplay involed towards it, though shes more than happy to oblige me.

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    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
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    i see no wrong with it . its pretty hot when a guy likes his ass being played with though ive never as yet been with anyone ive played with toys of any kind with sadly so ive not experienced it myself firsthand , just the odd finger up their bums etc ...

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    WeeSteve [sign in to see picture]
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    rubysoho wrote:

    i see no wrong with it . its pretty hot when a guy likes his ass being played with though ive never as yet been with anyone ive played with toys of any kind with sadly so ive not experienced it myself firsthand , just the odd finger up their bums  etc ...

    Why can I imagine you just like giving him a wee play then going "woops my finger slipped" :-P
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    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
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    I don't like the sensation of anal play on myself (any of it - penetration does not feel pleasurable) but if it was something a partner enjoyed having done to them I would do it for them.

    Cant really suggest more than has already been said

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    Lou22 [sign in to see picture]
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    I love playing with my partner, working up to bigger toys and hope to try pegging one day but i love anal play and sex to :)

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    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
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    WeeSteve wrote:

    rubysoho wrote:

    i see no wrong with it . its pretty hot when a guy likes his ass being played with though ive never as yet been with anyone ive played with toys of any kind with sadly so ive not experienced it myself firsthand , just the odd finger up their bums etc ...

    Why can I imagine you just like giving him a wee play then going "woops my finger slipped" :-P

    hahah MOI ????!! as IF i would ;)

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    swingcouple [sign in to see picture]
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    My ex wasn't into giving at all, despite enjoying anal play herself. R does not like receiving anal play but is very happy to use toys on me, however she won't use her strap-on, finds the idea "wrong" somehow.

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    [suspended user]

    suspended user
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    That's a very good point. Why should anal sex be considered gay by some when men. When some gay men don't even have anal sex?

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    bigstu [sign in to see picture]
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    Personaaly I adore anal play and 'pegging', and what class myself as a hetrosexual guy, with no gay side, don't like cats and don't make my own curtains.

    I can imagine that the idea of being penetrated is the problem for some guys who have the mis guided belief that it will take away their masculinity, personally I don't believe it does, but each to their own. This is what makes the world the place it is.

    I've got the belief willing to try most things in life as I get older, as you only get the one go at life.

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    sanasca [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi,

    I had a really bad anal experience with my x, he kind of just ramed it up and it was very unplesent and painful. Now my new partner has asked to try more anal play both on me and on him. I trust him compleatly and have agreed to try it again. He has had a finger in my butt which actually felt good and we have tried my finger in his butt and a vibrating egg which he really enjoyed.

    But my question is how to you get started with anal and iniciate anal play?

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