• Attracted to friend

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    loversdelight [sign in to see picture]
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    I have never been attracted to women before but after messing about with a friend recently and now having intense feelings for her which are mutual I am wondering what the hell has happened to me. Neither of us want to ruin our friendship but are strongly attracted to each other and know that thinks will go further.

    Has this happened to anyone else?

    1371305483
    loversdelight [sign in to see picture]
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    Were you involved with anyone else at the time? We are both happily married and it all came about after very drunken night involving us all but since then my friend and I are crazy about each other even though we love being with our husbands as well.

    it is very confusing but exciting too. If husbands could be involved they wouldn't mind but would be jealous of us doing it alone.

    1371305555
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree with Avrielle. I guess your friendship is already effected, or at least it will start getting awkward as time passes and you can't spend time together due to overwhelming feelings. Why not go for it? We have one life, I say bloody well enjoy it and follow your heart. It sounds like you both feel the same way. Yes, you might end up splitting up at some point but that is the risk with any relationship. Who knows what will happen in the future though. You might be together forever.

    One thing to think about before you rush into it though, is are these feelings, on both sides, 100% genuine. See, the absolute excitement and thrill of something so new and different can sometimes cloud peoples judgement. In other words, can you picture yourself with this person for the long term, can you imagine living with them, sharing boring things, bills, housework. Can you imagine still loving them if arguements start up, or is it mainly a sexual interest? In my opinion, one of these is love and the other is lust. What I am badly trying to say is, imagine if this was a man, or imagine this as if it was your usual type of relationship and see if things feel similar. Is it love? Lust? A close friendship with some attraction? I would suggest following your instincts and acting in the same way as you would if you were at the beginning stages of a relationship that you have had before, while at the same time being aware of "what" you feel for this girl. Any red flags that jump out at you, make sure you talk with her, talk talk talk. This is the best way to move into the kind of relationship you both want without anything being misunderstood and saving your friendship if it turns out you can't work out together. Good luck xx

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    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh. Just read your second post. That makes things a little different and a lot more awkward. It also sounds a lot more like you guys have become attracted to each other after the thrill and excitement of a one night thing which again suggests to me that it is just the new experience and that you are feeling lust and confusion because you turned each other on. I imagine that could turn to more, but I guess that is for you two to decide if you want to stay married or divorce and get together. I would consider sleeping together behind the husbands back to be cheating. You say you are both happily married. This will be a big decision and I would say wait and see what happens with those feelings. Right now they are fresh, maybe clouded judgement, see how you feel in a month or two maybe?

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    loversdelight [sign in to see picture]
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    You could be right Fluffbags and I have tried to be honest with my husband about the way I feel. It is a really strong feeling though, one which I never thought I would have.

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    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    I understand. Those feelings of attraction can be very very strong and intense. The decision on whether to act on them will be down to you two at the end of the day but all of the same rules apply wether the object of your lust is a male or female. This could have the potential to end two marriages and a close friendship. I think most people would consider it cheating.

    I also highly suspect that these feelings, when looked back on next year, will seem like a distant dream because I think what is happening is that this sexual attraction has been brought to the surface because of the one drunken time, but that it isnt "real" in the sense that you admit never being attracted to girls, or even her, before this sexual occasion and even now you know you dont want to be with her, just experiement with her sexually. I think the fantasy is appealing, the naughtiness, something new, something exciting....you get the idea. It would be fine if you were both single too. You know it is only a sexual relationship you want, and want to both stay married so I would say don't do it because all the same rules still apply even though she is female. It could still cause a lot of heartache. Again, the decision is yours though x

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    loversdelight [sign in to see picture]
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    You speak a lot of sense and I know if it was a man I would have no doubt in my mind it was wrong, just seems different being same sex and knowing that we want the best of both worlds!. Doesn't help that all 4 partners would be willing to indulge again if situation arose

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    killerbunny [sign in to see picture]
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    Yes, I was in love with a good friend of mine. When we broke up we stayed friends but our frindnship wasn't the same of course.

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