• How to regain confidence?

    NewWoman [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 8
    • Joined: 2 Feb 2012

    Prior to having my little boy (now 2), me and OH had a great sex life, however it has well an truly sunk over the past 2 years!
    I still have the same naughty thoughts and fantasies but when it comes to acting it out I feel silly and prudish! I think alot of it is due to the chane in my body shape from pre-baby and I've lost confidence.
    My OH is very confident in the bedroom and is willing to try new things all the time but I feel like I'm 'boring' him.
    Any advice on how to give yourself a boost?

    Bex_1234 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 26
    • Joined: 7 Feb 2012

    I felt very similar after the birth of my first son. Things started getting back on track when he was around 3, then typically I fell pregnant again!!

    This time I was determined not to get back in the same rut, and would put the baby up in his own room in the evenings to give us some couple time, bringing him back in with us when he woke in the night for a feed.

    Buy yourself some lingerie - try lots on to see what you feel sexiest in. Try and set aside an evening to yourself if you can - go out to dinner and don't wear knickers, park up on the way home for some fun on the backseat. Anything to spice things up. In my experience you just have to get the ball rolling - the more sex I have, the more I want it! If we lapse for a couple of weeks we both lose interest and have to make an effort to get ourselves going again.

    I'm sure your partner loves your body, the problem is down to how YOU feel, not him.

    NewWoman [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 8
    • Joined: 2 Feb 2012

    Thanks for all the replies and lovely advice!
    Yes I think I am going have browse through some of the Lh underwear and get some in order.
    I'm only 26 and I have a long sex life ahead of me (hopefully!) so better nip this in the bud!
    Will keep you updated xx

    MrsMcX [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1993
    • Joined: 15 Feb 2013


    I'm 25 and in an extremely similar situation to you. What you really need to do is talk to your OH, don't think you can solve it by buying things because it really doesn't work. I've been in this situation a few months ago, I felt saggy, fat, wobbly and just a bit ashamed of my new body. It's only been nearly three years after that I got the courage to talk to my husband about it. I told him exactly how I feel, and he assured me that he finds me more attractive than ever! I think us women put too much pressure on ourselves after having kids, and we don't really see ourselves correctly. We see all the wobbly bits because we're so used to how our body was before and how it is now. When the fact is, your OH probably hasn't noticed that much of a change and is still head over heels for you. We focus on our insecurities and don't focus on our good points. Trust me, I found a new part of myself after I had the talk, it's changed my sex life so much and I'm far more confident. I feel absolutely wonderful after it, and after years of trying to look perfect, all I needed was that chat.

    Good luck :)

    BDSM [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 213
    • Joined: 14 Feb 2009

    You need to talk to him about this. He can help by reassuring you how sexy you still are. Sexy lingerie and makeup will also help you remember that you are still a woman and not just a mum.

    KinkyFuckery [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3612
    • Joined: 10 Jul 2012

    Treat yourself to some LH goodies get someone to have your little boy and have a night just for the two of you finding each other again , seeing where it leads no pressure just enjoy being close and building up your confidence again.

    mrs average [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1007
    • Joined: 18 Oct 2012

    I've beern there and done that and everyone else has given great advice.
    I'd also say make the effort to dress nicely even when you don't need to go any where. I found that not getting showered and dressed all day made me feel worse when my two were babies, also there's nothing worse than nipping to the shop and bumping into friends who look smart, glam and full of joys of life when you've got bags under your eyes, baby sick down your top and hair that could have done with a wash 4 days ago.
    Its quite normal to feel the was you but you just have to accept and embrace your new self and try out new things as a new person.
    Good luck Mrs A

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