• Want to Swing but don't want to F*ck Others? :/

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    Bashful [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 10
    • Joined: 19 Dec 2011

    Hi All,

    I know this is something I have to work out myself but feeling a little stuck. I am really curious about swinging/ threesomes/ sex parties etc but I have only ever had full intercourse with my partner and I sort of treasure the idea of him being the only one I ever have and ever will have sex with.

    So I am torn between this fairytale romantic idea and wanting to get a little more adventurous.

    Any thoughts? :)

    1370307262
    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1549
    • Joined: 6 Mar 2013

    if youre torn ... its a no . thats something you have to be 100% sure about . ive never done it cos .. i dont like to share . and if your current partner is the only one , and you want , as you say to keep things that way . the answer seems glaringly obvious to me . some things are better left as fantasy IMO

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    mrs average [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 987
    • Joined: 18 Oct 2012

    Rubysoho is right. Fantasy and reality are two completely differemt things

    My husband and I like role play and share our made up scenario fantasies but that is all they are.
    Personally I think threesomes and swinging opens up a whole can of worms, if you're in a secure loving relationship I'd want to keep it that way. I know people do but its something I could never do, I love my huband too much to share him, and love my kids too much to mess them up.

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    Smokeyj [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
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    • Joined: 27 Dec 2012

    I agree with RubySoho and Mrs Average, rather leave it a fantasy if you are unsure.

    1370337894
    Ruby1878 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 28
    • Joined: 19 Aug 2009

    I'm going to disagree with the others, I don't think you have to leave it to fantasy. What you could do is test the water by attending a swingers club but not participating. I'm not into swinging myself, but there's one near me and the website states that you don't have to take part and can just spectate.

    If you feel uncomfortable, you can always leave. If you feel more comfortable than you thought you would, you could get a bit frisky with your man while watching others. If you decide you want to go for it, you could invite others to join you. If you swing, no-one says you HAVE to have penetrative sex with anyone other than your OH, you can enjoy a bit of fun in other ways :)

    Start by doing a lot of reading up/research into local swinging clubs, would be my advice :)

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    Dominant Gentleman [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 14
    • Joined: 3 Jun 2013

    The only thing I can really add is, my girlfriend and I were both like this about it at first. We took the plunge and now have a very exciting polyamorous relationship going on with three other people. So it may work out for you, or it may be a disaster!

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    sexynurse09 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 779
    • Joined: 21 Sep 2009

    Bashful wrote:

    Hi All,

    I know this is something I have to work out myself but feeling a little stuck. I am really curious about swinging/ threesomes/ sex parties etc but I have only ever had full intercourse with my partner and I sort of treasure the idea of him being the only one I ever have and ever will have sex with.

    So I am torn between this fairytale romantic idea and wanting to get a little more adventurous.

    Any thoughts? :)

    I experimented with swinging in my previous relationship. We only ever had full intercourse with each other and had no interest in doing it with anyone else. We agreed that everything else was allowed with other people, but the main event was special to us only.

    You will find many people with similar boundaries to yourself in the swinging community. We came across some couple on a swinging website who just wanted to be in the same room as another couple while being naughty, but had no interest in swapping partners for anything. You will find people who don't allow kissing with other people, yet full sex is fine. Everyone has their own boundaries, just make sure you're both clear on what yours are before you experiment.

    A club is a good place to start, as you can just watch if you like, no pressure to take part in anything. A website I used to use was fabswingers.com, good for finding like minded couples who want te same as you.

    We signed up wanting to find a couple with a bi lady, idea being the girls can do whatever they want with each other while partners watch and join in with their OWN partners. Swinging isn't always about 'keys in the fruit bowl' and ending up having sex with someone you don't particularly want to. There are many different types of swingers in te swinging community.

    Id say discuss with your partner, establish your boundaries, sign up to a website, I recommend fabswingers as its free and is the first site we met someone from, and consider visiting a club. Have fun with it, don't let yourself be pressured into anything. Most importantly, communicate with your partner. You need to be on the same page. If you're not, don't do it.

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