• Cheating boyfriend?

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    Old - But not THAT old! [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm with Lollipop with regards to your looks - so there is no doubt that you can do so much better than this selfish jerk. Partnerships are about sharing and caring, and quite clearly the only person he cares about his him, so follow the advice of the majority on here and find yourself a proper man, one that is in love with YOU and not so much in love with HIMSELF.

    Just don't forget your cat ! You can guarantee that he's not going to care for Akali when you have gone.

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    [suspended user]

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    Agree with you 100% old but not that old, lol love the name by the way :) I use to have a boyfriend who put me down and would call me very nasty stuff like slut and I'm no good to anyone he would say I was just a sex toy stuff like that, but now I have an amazing boyfriend who treats me the best, he values loves and respects me and would never ever put me down, he'll only ever big me up, and you can find a guy like that too, no woman or man should ever be treated like a door mat.

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    BDSM [sign in to see picture]
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    He tells you that you are worthless every day?

    Leave him now. This is an abusive relationship.

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    Badger73 [sign in to see picture]
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    No man should ever treat a woman badly, if he does he is not a man. If i treated my wlfe that way i would fully expect to be shown the door and told to never return.

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    MandiVonSweiss [sign in to see picture]
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    In that respect, it's not really cheating. However, I had a partner who was doing exactly this, He would wait for ANY opportunity, If I went to my mums for the weekend or if I literally just popped to the shop for some milk (But only taking 3-5 minutes leaves much to be desired now that I look back on it)

    It eventually got to the point of him just telling me to get out or go do the washing up, make dinner, etc, anything to keep me out of the bedroom. The worse part was he was using MY computer, and it wasn't just your normal vanilla porn, It was quite disgusting things on top of that and then it eventually clogged my computer with viruses and had to wipe it all out and restart it.

    One thing that can come from this is a very nasty form of jealousy and/or paranoia, I had installed a keylogger on the computer that would run in the background and would track every site he went on, every keystroke, every click, and then send all of the info to me in an email. This was to finally call him out on it and prove he was lying about not looking at anything, Even then he still lied to my face and I told him exactly where to shove it if he'd rather look at porn than have sex with me.

    So in short, no he's not cheating, no there isn't another woman, but this is clearly an addiction, and you don't want to be with someone who has this problem, it leaves you feeling self conscious, unattractive, paranoid, jealous and most of all betrayed.

    Get out while you can, I did!

    1370183367
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    I think Mandi has raised a really valid point. He may well be addicted to pornography. I wouldn't consider it cheating but like any addiction (Alcohol, drugs) he is focusing his efforts on that to the detriment of your relationship. (To the point where he is treating you like crap.) Its easier said than done when you love someone or hope they will change but you should get out of that relationship if it is eating away at your confidence and making you unhappy like this. I think the worst part is reading that he calls you worthless several times a week/month. Hunni, your partner should respect you more than that, really xxx Good luck.

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    Andreia [sign in to see picture]
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    I am just hoping to see ig this relationship gets better... we had a fight where I told him lots of stuffs. Since then he has been treating me better.

    Also, yes, it's my picture on the avatar. My hair tho, is now it's dark red. And honestly, I am Ok with my body. I'm not fat or anything. I'll post a picture for you to see. If you need.

    Also, there is also a girl, that I worked with, and he has been working for 2 years, that has a crush on him and him on her, she gives him the stares, the smiles, brings him food everyday at work, snacks, etc... And it's true, since 2 years ago our relationship changed. I think she is envolved too.

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    Andreia [sign in to see picture]
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    Our fight was on the 30th. After that girl's bday, that I went out with her and one of our friends from work. She told everything about that night to my bf too, they work together for 2 years now. And I done nothing wrong besides dancing. Also a group of german dudes (14 guys) paid me like 5 strong shots, dunno names, and nothing to them, friends..

    Also, I'm body confident, as you can see, the problem can't be me since I do everything for that guy and he doesn't pamper me back.

    http://img295.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=191878723_IMG_4352_123_390lo.JPG

    I don't have anyone to take a picture for me, had to put the camera on my shoeshelf.

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    Ron Burgundy [sign in to see picture]
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    Andreia, the guy sounds like a dick. You've invested a lot of time in this relationship so walking away is tough. But any guy that treats you like that doesn't deserve you. And seriously, if that's you in your profile picture, the guys a moron. You deserve so much better.

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    [suspended user]

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    Agree I've just had a look at your pic and your very pretty, I know it's hard honey, I lift my ex who treated me really bad, but know I'm with an amazing man, I think you'd be best to end it, no one should ever be treated bad by there's partners.

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    bigstu [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi

    Just had a look at your picture and your are a very attractive young lady, dump him he isn't worth the hassle. It'll be hard but it has to be done

    He isn't even having his cake and eating it, I could say he might be looking for you to dump him as he doesn't have the spine to walk away himself.

    Change the locks and dump his stuff in bin bags outside the door.

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    killerbunny [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree you deserve someone better

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    BDSM [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm sorry but your head is buried deep in the sand. This relationship will not get better, no matter how long you wait. You had a row and it might improve for a short time, but deep down, there is no respect.

    The simple fact that you are trying to convince us that the problem isn't you, you are pretty, not fat and are body confident - all very well, but irrelevant. No matter what you look like, he is never justified in treating you badly.

    Leaving a bad relationship is very hard. It is hard to face up to the reality, and believing that you deserve better. I hope you gain the confidence soon, and never allow yourself to be treated that way again.

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    Andreia [sign in to see picture]
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    The fact that he sometimes is on a good mood is after our chats/ fights, or if I do something good or if he thinks that I'm #under control#. He's the master of sarcasm, but sarcasm is telling the truth by playing around..

    Lately it's been ok since the last fight.

    I also asked that girl about why she brings him food at work, she replied with " I bring it for me, and when I don't need it anymore or have plenty, I give it to him since he is always hungry, I consider your boyfriend my friend, friends care for each other, I'd do the same with you if you worked with me at the reception as well, so stop the jealously, find another hobby and worry about other important stuff. I told you already he loves you. ".

    I really like him.... and I said that this is going to be my last relationship with guys... so.. he better cherish this one.. and again he saida stupid joke and smiled. I'd be dead serious, not joking here, seriously.

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    bigstu [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Andreia

    Having read your last post, I reiterate that you must be the strong one and dump him, I have married friends , individually they are great but together its a nightmare, the hubby is constantly negative and puts his wife down all the time, undermining her confidence and it is very difficult to stand by and not say something. At times I have stopped it by saying 'Not in my house!' and it calms down.

    They stay together for their son, who is about to go to university, and we , myself and OH think it will be a matter of time before he leaves.

    I can see a comparison, J*** will make excuses for his behaviour and say its been better since X and Y, but it soon resumes. The major difference is there is no third wheel in that relationship aside from J occassionally looking for affection in the wrong places, usually when drunk or on holiday(without hubby).

    To get back to you, the girl sounds like a total little b*tch, 'you don't look after him, so I have to' is the definite sub text there, if there is nothing sexual going on it isn't far away. At least if you throw him out he has somewhere to go, so no guilt there.

    There are lots of guys out there who will treat you a lot better than the current smuck. I was going to use the Lance armstrong motto of 'live strong' and it still works.

    Live strong

    Be strong

    And stop letting the b*stards getting you down.

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    sexynurse09 [sign in to see picture]
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    Andreia wrote:

    It's not a wank. It's a continuous day wank. EVERYDAY. Not a casual one.... sigh. And not just that, he tends to let me out of all his parties and social life.... He also calls me worthless on a weekly basis.. he values his friends more than he does with me. He never warns when he's going to be late home, never tells me anything and even lies to his parents about me. He never goes to shopping with me, food wise, he doesn't pay attention if I had a haircut, bought new lingerie, dyed my hair... if I am sick.. he doesn't take me to the doctor, he makes me go alone.. saying that it is my responsability.

    So yeah...

    I don't want to sound rude, but just read that post you wrote. If you read that post by somebody else on here what would you say to them? If a friend came to you and told you her boyfriend was treating her this way, what would your advice be?

    He is abusing you. A partner doesn't need to be violent to be abusive. He tells you you're worthless and pretty much ignores you most/ all of the time. He doesn't care about your physical health or emotional well being. I am sorry but people treat their dogs a hell of a lot better than this.

    I don't mean to piss you off, but it seems like he certainly has a hold over you, and does whatever he wants because he knows you won't leave him. I think you probably hoped we'd say 'yeah, he's cheating' so you have a solid excuse to end it. I know this because I speak from experience. My first relationship was similar.

    Leave and don't look back. You will find someone one day who will treat you like a princess and you will wonder why you wasted any of your time with this guy. I know I have.

    Sorry if this post hit a nerve.

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    Andreia [sign in to see picture]
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    Also, I am living on a house his parents made new. So it's HIS place not mine. I just decorated and picked every color, furniture... his parents and he paid most of the materials, men, and he paid the furniture. I paid all the storage stuff and decoration! I also have receipts that prove that I bought this or that, so when I leave, I'll take all those with me. Yep... that lesson I've learnt from the past.

    I don't plan on having kids with him.. I want a girl, and his family is full of boys... also with this situation it's a nono.

    I haven't put the horns on him... dunno if he did to me.... but if he can lie so easily, he might have already..

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    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
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    none of this is making any sense now .

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    MandiVonSweiss [sign in to see picture]
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    rubysoho wrote:

    none of this is making any sense now .

    To be quite honest, she's clearly not getting the hint.

    Strange type of troll?

    1370287952
    munchkin [sign in to see picture]
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    Reading all those posts and while the decision itself is easy, even though the actions definitely aren't.

    However, I would agree with everything everyone else has said here. Whether he's cheating or not doesn't matter if he's treating you like this. I think that any man who tells his partner that they're worthless clearly has some issues! I know looks shouldn't count here but I can't imagine you would be short of attention.

    I can only imagine that he either has his own esteem issues and needs to make you feel weak and unattractive, so that you don't feel that you can get better than him, or he gets off on this level of control knowing how you feel about him - that's bordering on sociopathic. If he's addicted to porn then that's his problem and I'm not sure that even if you helped him with it woud change your relationship.

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