• Advice on anal matters?

    1369883135
    Beloved_Sin [sign in to see picture]
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    Ok, firstly I'll apologize for the length of this post, I always tend to write a lot. :)

    Now then, after a rather vigorous session a few nights ago my boyfriend of 4 month's bed broke, considering we nearly fell through the middle of it once we were done we immediately set about fixing it! Whilst I was holding up the mattress for him I caught sight of a clear box through the slats, with a telltale box inside with the lovehoney writing and logo visible, and a few others of very similar things. I knew I'd found where he keeps his sexy stash of things hidden! Considering he's already seen everything my drawer of tricks has to offer, naturally my curiosity meant I wanted to see what things he had treated himself to.

    First of all he refused flat out to let me see it, and when I said I was his girlfriend and that he should be able to show me such things, he said it was because I was his girlfriend that he didn't want to show me and freak me out! But I persisted, because 1. It bothered me that he didn't feel he could share that with me when he's seen ALL I have to offer, and 2. Once I become curious about something I find it almost impossible to forget about. Then miraculously two nights ago he agreed to at least show me -some- of what's in there.

    He pulled out what I'd class as pretty normal things first, like handcuffs and lube etc. When I said I knew there were definitely other things he wasn't showing me, eventually everything came out of the box, his confidence increasing as I failed to react 'freaked out' to the items. Admittedly I hadn't expected to see what I saw, but only because no other partners of mine had had anything like that, things like vibrating butt plugs, anal beads and one rather big butt plug! Also wasn't expecting to see a ball gag either! Once he'd shown me everything interesting in the box, he smiled shyly, looked embarrassed and explained to me that he'd been single a long time and that really even though he'd bought several experimental things he really pretty much just liked the vibrating butt plug. So my reaction was to just simply kiss him on the forehead and tell him he was a sexy beast. :P

    Now, I may have acted a little cooler about it than I was feeling however... I have never had anything to do with my butt before, let alone a guy's! I'd say I've tried anal, but I don't think telling a guy to get out pretty much straight after he's put it in because it feels weird counts. :) I know my boyfriend would love to try it with me, but due to those past times I'm reluctant, but he said the others weren't doing it right before with just bulldozing right in, he reassured me that we'd 'ease up to it.' I want to try to like it so we can make things even more exciting in the bedroom, so I guess any tips for anal sex would be appreciated, like how to relax beforehand and such?

    Also the day after he showed me his box of goodies I decided to have a look at anal toys for him since he liked his vibrating butt plug so much. :) He seemed to appreciate my efforts to be involved with it, he was so excited when we were looking through them that he had trouble controlling himself. :P With his consent I've ordered the Ebony vibrating prostate massager for him, hope it arrives tomorrow! The bf is now away in China for a week and a bit, and once he gets back I guess I'd like to treat him a bit with the present I've got him, but again, I have no experience in this area, or on what to do or what to expect! So any info is very helpful. :D

    Again, sorry for the long post, and thanks to those of you that read down this far! :)

    1369904123

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    Hello beloved-sin I'm exactly the same as you with my partner now, I've also had men before who have just rushed in but my partner I'm with now knows how to ease me into it, I'm also a tiny be scared of anal still, but believe me it can be really nice, I'd say started of slow and take your time, if something hurts tell your partner right away, and stop if you feel you need to, trust me on that one :) I find it really helps to use smaller toys 1st anal probers are good I think, and I use butt plug to get use to the size and feel of if, (I'd go up in size) it will take time but just be patient. Ps sorry for any spelling mistakes :) x

    1369904376
    bigstu [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi

    Guys can tend to more quiet about liking anal, my OH is like you she is very reluctant to take me in her ass, we have been there twice in 8 years but give her the chance to play with my ass, pardon the pun but straight in.

    We started with playing with anal beads and anal vibrators, both of which I really enjoy, lub is very much required, the biggest issue I had was getting her to put the beads in deep enough!

    Snce then we have moved onto pegging and have several strapons, and various sizes of additional dildos. I love the sensations of getting my ass humped by my OH and she loves to do me in the ass.

    1369912662
    Beloved_Sin [sign in to see picture]
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    Lollipop ;) wrote:

    Hello beloved-sin I'm exactly the same as you with my partner now, I've also had men before who have just rushed in but my partner I'm with now knows how to ease me into it, I'm also a tiny be scared of anal still, but believe me it can be really nice, I'd say started of slow and take your time, if something hurts tell your partner right away, and stop if you feel you need to, trust me on that one :) I find it really helps to use smaller toys 1st anal probers are good I think, and I use butt plug to get use to the size and feel of if, (I'd go up in size) it will take time but just be patient. Ps sorry for any spelling mistakes :) x

    Hi Lollipop, thanks for your insight, definitely helps to hear from others who have the same situation. :) I'm a bit scared honestly, just because the other times did feel unpleasant, like going to the loo but backwards! I'm sure it's very unlikely anal will make you need to poo, but I've heard horror stories about it, which even if they aren't true, make me a bit paranoid! So I suspect that my main problem is that I'll probably find it difficult to relax during, even though I'm lucky that my boyfriend is so understanding. Makes me hopeful that you were able to enjoy it though under the right conditions. :D Is there a particular position for you that you find most comfortable during? And would you recommend that I get some anal toys first before I let my boyfriend try some things?
    1369914113
    Beloved_Sin [sign in to see picture]
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    bigstu wrote:

    Hi

    Guys can tend to more quiet about liking anal, my OH is like you she is very reluctant to take me in her ass, we have been there twice in 8 years but give her the chance to play with my ass, pardon the pun but straight in.

    We started with playing with anal beads and anal vibrators, both of which I really enjoy, lub is very much required, the biggest issue I had was getting her to put the beads in deep enough!

    Snce then we have moved onto pegging and have several strapons, and various sizes of additional dildos. I love the sensations of getting my ass humped by my OH and she loves to do me in the ass.

    Thanks for the info bigstu, well when I looked at anal toys with my boyfriend a couple of nights ago I found he was very particular about the shape of things he'd be happy to use, anything that resembled anal beads was a no-no, and also anything too large, it seems to me that it's more about the vibrations for him. So I got this for him: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=17779 I wouldn't have the faintest idea how to use it on him though, I guess it's a case of careful experimentation. It's an unusual situation for me though, because typically I am the submissive one so inserting things into my boyfriend is pretty much going to take me out of my comfort zone! But I really want him to enjoy himself, and as he has a bit of an issue keeping himself erect surely this will be a good way to help maintain it? Have you ever used any toys like this one?
    1369914936
    MrsMcX [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Beloved,

    It sounds like to me you're in a very good place, since your OH has tried toys before, he's obviously going to know what it feels like to have something inserted for the first time, whereas others might not have had that.

    I'm in a similar boat to you at the moment, I have tried it before with my husband and I have enjoyed it, but initially it feels slightly strange and a bit uncomfortable, and I feel like it might be a bit of a turn off when I'm saying "oh stop...okay go...slowly...stop again...okay...wait" so I've been looking into things on the LH site to see if there's anything that can help this and make it a better experience for me and enable me to relax more so we can try again (it's been about a year since the last time).

    Firstly, I've always been so repulsed by anal douching, I don't know why but its just a bit off putting for me but from looking at products and reading reviews it might be something that I think I should try, so I feel more confident that I'm clean up there and I don't have to worry about nasty surprises, because as you say, it does kind of feel like you might be pooping at first! I've read reviews and watched the videos on this product and it seems like it might be worth trying at least once since its so cheap. http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=952

    I've also been looking into desensitising products and come across this that has really good reviews http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=3432
    There's some pros and cons with this, some people say that using them can be dangerous because you can't feel if there's pain and it could lead to some damage. I feel confident in myself that it would be something that would benefit me, but I think it's a personal preference. Maybe with it being your first time, try without it so you can both figure out together how slow you need to take things before, and try this a couple of times before using it.

    Lastly, lube lube lube!!! I've heard that LH's anal lube was very good but I can't seem to find it anywhere. I've had a good hunt around and there's a ton of different anal lubes on the LH website.
    I've decided with my next order I'm going to try out this one http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=11373
    It seems like the most natural and it has some brilliant reviews. It is much thicker than normal lube and is especially formulated to last for a longer amount of time than normal lubricants. It also creates some padding which can be more gentle for anal sex, which sounds like its the best option in my opinion.

    Be as prepared and possible and it will make you more relaxed with it, if you're worried it's going to be more uncomfortable, just try and relax and you will get some enjoyment from it. Good luck :)

    1369916238
    Cuddlekitten [sign in to see picture]
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    i've never used anything vibrating on my bf, but generally you want to make sure he's relaxed and stretched first. use plenty of lube (the more the better) and maybe start with a single finger first, maybe adding just one more if he's not too keen on being stretched. inside, you can curl your finger a little and move them. since he's had the toys for a while at least he probably knows how to clean himself up a bit before any anal play, but it can always happen that there's still a bit in there so you should mentally prepare yourself for that ;) and make sure you have kitchenroll or toilet paper close by. if you take it slow, and have him tell you what feels good for him i'm sure it'll be fine.

    when receiving anal make sure he does the same for you. plenty of lube (lots and lots and lots of it. going in dry is the biggest mistake you can make!), long foreplay, and starting with one finger, adding one at a time. i agree with your comparison of going to the loo backwards ^^ it feels the same for me, and to be honest my bf enjoys receiving anal a lot more than i do. for me it's just a very, very occasional thing, mostly when he wants to, and i want to make him feel good or even reward him if he's been particularly attentive to my needs. less often the mood strikes me and he's usually happy to oblige. just make sure to tell him what feels good, what doesn't feel good, don't rush yourself and i'm sure it will be a good experience. and if you find you don't like anal that much (like me) at least you'll know.

    1369916908

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    Yeah I think getting some toys first would be good have a look at the lovehoney bignner toys I have one that's very good with 3 pink butt plugs going up in size and a vibrator that one I find is very good, and also the bigmners anal prober I fine it really good, I like everyone had said use lots and lots and lots of lube! :) and I fine me laying down on the bed on my belly is a great position also I fine doggy style it no good at all because it make me more tight, and if your worried about poo why don't you use an anal douch, I use one they are very easy to use and make me feel mouth more comfortable, if there's anything else ya want to ask feel free :) ps again sorry for any spelling mistakes I'm not a good speller :) x

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    Cuddlekitten [sign in to see picture]
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    Firstly, I've always been so repulsed by anal douching, I don't know why but its just a bit off putting for me but from looking at products and reading reviews it might be something that I think I should try, so I feel more confident that I'm clean up there and I don't have to worry about nasty surprises, because as you say, it does kind of feel like you might be pooping at first! I've read reviews and watched the videos on this product and it seems like it might be worth trying at least once since its so cheap. http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=952

    My bf and I are using this one, and it's easy to use and works well. make sure to put some lube on the tip there as well when using it, I didn't once and actually hurt myself a little with the edge at the hole on top somehow.

    I'd recommend filling it up with lukewarm water, then head to the toilet, squat over it and then gently insert it. When I'm using it, it comes out again almost straight away because it just feels like I have to poop really badly, but my bf sometimes uses it in the shower and is fine just going to the toilet 5 minutes later, everyone is different so you'll have to try.

    I would also suggest getting an antibacterial sextoy cleaner if you don't have that already and clean the douche properly in between uses

    1369919737
    Beloved_Sin [sign in to see picture]
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    Wow, so much to consider here! That anal douche looks like a good one, although the box for it looks suspiciously like the one I saw through the lid of my boyfriend's sexy box the other day, and he didn't show me that with the other things that night.... *sigh* Guess he's still hiding some stuff from me. Kinda frustrating. =/

    I've got some water based lube but sounds like investing in stuff especially meant for anal activities would be a good idea! I may get a beginner's set of butt plugs or something once I get a bit more used to the idea, I want to be open and try it 'properly', but I'd been against the idea of it for quite a while. :P

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    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    How long have you been together? I have a feeling that you will find out everything inside the box eventually and that he is hiding things because of the huge stigma and taboo he feels about it all. I mean he may have come across some stigma over the years in general. I think at the moment it is more common for men to be mocked, or have their sexuality brought into the question if they use sex toys. It sucks but some people are not open minded like that. As he realises you won't judge him and actually want to be a part of this with him, you will see the excitement bubbling over exactly as you explained when he showed you the first things. I have an anal douche, it isnt one of the first things I would show my new partners when showing them my toys simply because it is less of a toy and more of a prep tool and I don't want the mood ruined if they are squeamish and the image of me squatting on the loo puts them off lol. (Im not squeamish myself but you can see it is one of those toys that has the potential to put images in peoples minds.) That would be my reasoning anyway, maybe his too.

    We all try to hide the not so cute things our body does at the start of relationships I mean, would you want to hide your worn pants or used sanitary protection from him at the moment? Would you fart in front of him on the first date. Don't we all worry about that first sleepover, what if we snore lol I think the anal douche is dealing in the same area of human embarrassment, as in, its something you would not tend to come out with on a first date but as you grow to trust and love each other all of this stuff doesnt matter anymore. Basically he is still trying to impress you. It is cute.

    What you are doing right now, getting involved and being supportive is all it will take for him to eventually open up about it all. Just look at it like this: If you found out everythinggggg about your new lover in a week, there will be no surprises left. :D

    1369924986
    mmmmm_mmmmm [sign in to see picture]
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    Like you I had only tried anal very briefly but last week we bought a vibrating butt plug and lube and now theres no looking back. Previously when I had tried this I found it to be most uncomfortable and not at least a turn on but now with the right partner and plenty of time, patience, and lube I have come to find it most enjoyable. As for pooing yes you will possibly come into contact unless you douche but then just think about it that its inevitable and to be honest you wont really care once your in the swing of it if your fully relaxed with the person your with.

    The two important things to remember:

    • Lube and plenty of it

    •Relax, I know its easier said than done at first but once you do I promise it will be more comfy and more enjoyable.

    Good luck and enjoy

    1369931903

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    Beloved-sin, I use that anal douche when me and my boyfriend have anal sex and its very good and easy to use, it doesn't hurt at all, actually I liked it, it made me feel nice and clean also didn't have to worry about any poo and it helped me relaxed : D hope that helps you more :)

    1369932238
    MrsMcX [sign in to see picture]
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    Anal douching always seems to be a topic that not many people talk about, but it is a very hygienic thing to do and from the reviews I've read of the basic one it seems like the best option, especially for the low price.

    There's also an offer on that product at the minute where if you spend over £10 on selected products (douche included) you get 25% off.

    I'm definitely ordering!

    1369936826
    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
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    MrsMcX wrote:

    Anal douching always seems to be a topic that not many people talk about, but it is a very hygienic thing to do and from the reviews I've read of the basic one it seems like the best option, especially for the low price.

    There's also an offer on that product at the minute where if you spend over £10 on selected products (douche included) you get 25% off.

    I'm definitely ordering!

    Ive bought one but not yet used it :/ not had any reason or opportunity to as yet .

    1369941007

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    They are good I think, they give ya peace of mind because you don't have to worry about dirty bits so you can relax. :)

    1369944191
    bigstu [sign in to see picture]
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    Beloved_Sin wrote:

    bigstu wrote:

    Hi

    Guys can tend to more quiet about liking anal, my OH is like you she is very reluctant to take me in her ass, we have been there twice in 8 years but give her the chance to play with my ass, pardon the pun but straight in.

    We started with playing with anal beads and anal vibrators, both of which I really enjoy, lub is very much required, the biggest issue I had was getting her to put the beads in deep enough!

    Snce then we have moved onto pegging and have several strapons, and various sizes of additional dildos. I love the sensations of getting my ass humped by my OH and she loves to do me in the ass.

    Thanks for the info bigstu, well when I looked at anal toys with my boyfriend a couple of nights ago I found he was very particular about the shape of things he'd be happy to use, anything that resembled anal beads was a no-no, and also anything too large, it seems to me that it's more about the vibrations for him. So I got this for him: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=17779 I wouldn't have the faintest idea how to use it on him though, I guess it's a case of careful experimentation. It's an unusual situation for me though, because typically I am the submissive one so inserting things into my boyfriend is pretty much going to take me out of my comfort zone! But I really want him to enjoy himself, and as he has a bit of an issue keeping himself erect surely this will be a good way to help maintain it? Have you ever used any toys like this one?

    I've used anal beads and anal vibrators but not one like that, seems like fun. My OH was also outside of her comfort zone initially but she worked through it and enjoys 'doing me in the ass' now.

    Never had a problem being and staying erect, but as written before ur partner will have to tell you if its uncomfortable, start gently and lots of lub.

    Soon you both will be enjoying the pleasure of anal, done well its great.

    1369949209
    KinkyFuckery [sign in to see picture]
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    I have never done anal myself until I meet T , the best advice I can give is take it nice and slow relax enjoy it if your not happy stop make sure you use lube . I found having him in my pussy first then my ass relaxed me too .

    Best advice I have take it nice and slow , lube lube lube , start off small and dont get eyes bigger thank you belly .

    LH have a great buyers guide -http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/

    I started off with http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=13085

    Then got a butt plug so you are used to slipping something inside you - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16053 or you could buy a kit and work your way up - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=3539

    I then got a douche - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=952 dead easy to use and simple and makes you clean esp when your using bigger toys as I worked my way up to an anal dildo to get to used to the fact that he will be inside me - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16726

    Then I brought http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=17072 to get fill what it will be like,

    Honestly try it slow if you enjoy it you enjoy it its not for everyone, dont put any pressure on yourself slow and lube it taken me about 6 months to work my way up, just taken it at my own pace.

    1369993323
    Postillionager [sign in to see picture]
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    There's also some really good advice in the LH blog/guides section "Five easy steps to anal sex". I think a lot of people find douching good just for peace of mind but tbh we hardly ever bother and we've never had any problems really.

    1370791166
    trailerguy61 [sign in to see picture]
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    time doing foreplay was the best and most productive way myself and an ex used to use.

    lots of lube, plus her own juices, flattening myself against her clit to start with and getting her to orgasm, following this with normal sex before, with her on her back, she always felt more comfortable on her back, her ass on the edge of the bed, high matresses, legs high and resting on my shoulders she`d have me go real slow, enter her ass a little, rest/stop let her get used to me being in her ass, she`d motion things were ok and i`d ease in more, pull out and go back to the same position, always watching and listening, stopping as she needed, ultimately i`d kinda just "pop" past her sphincter muscles and again watching/listening to her we`d rest and get comfortable before she`d say it would be ok to fuck her just as i`d do during normal sex, maybe not quite as energetically but full length, maybe play with her clit a bit which wasnt always do-able but time, lube, communication empathy and patience were our/my rewards, the smile on her face after the great orgasms she/we could experience were awesome, she came twice one time which on top of the sheer surprise when she anally orgasmed the first time was one of my all time treats lol.

    sometimes patience understanding and lube can take the place of any toy !

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