• Should I return the collar?

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    twinkle154 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 26
    • Joined: 9 Mar 2011

    I was playing with this guy (for a year) who is Dom/Sadist and he gave me a collar that we used for play, although I was never 'collared'. We have recently stopped playing but still on talking terms (only just). This may be temporary or may become the permanent situation.

    What should I do with the collar he gave me which is a lovely black leather one, just plain but only ever used when playing with him?

    My thought was that I return it to him and if he wants to play again then he can present it to me if that day should ever happen.

    All suggestions welcome.

    F

    1369607757
    KinkyFuckery [sign in to see picture]
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    Can't add anymore than Ork said. As handing it back could mean your ending it

    1369613199
    twinkle154 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
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    • Joined: 9 Mar 2011

    Thanks.

    Difficult time really. I don't want to end it more like leave the door open for the time if/when he's ready to resume playing. He's recently lost a very close friend.

    1369624035
    livvie [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
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    I have a collar myself. I have asked the OH that if me and him were to end our relationship do i keep the collar for just bdsm play? and he said yes, he also said, if things ended on bad terms and we didnt resume to play, he told me to keep the collar as he bought it and gave it to me as a present aswel. I dont wear my collar anymore at the moment.

    I would ask him...but not for the moment as hes probably got a hell of alot to deal with at the moment. Keep it until the time is right where you can sit down with him and talk with him about the situaton at hand, I also asked the OH and he said the same as i did :D Hope this helps x

    1369701614
    twinkle154 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks that was helpful. We are still on talking terms (well online anyway).

    Hopefully I can update this with good news eventually.

    1369743501
    rose hip [sign in to see picture]
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    twinkle154 wrote:

    Thanks.

    Difficult time really. I don't want to end it more like leave the door open for the time if/when he's ready to resume playing. He's recently lost a very close friend.

    Not a good time to change anything then. Hang on to the collar for now. I don't know all that much about BDSM, but it seems like giving back a collar would be almost like giving back an engagement ring or a significant present. That could feel like another loss to him right now.

    1369759094
    chunkyg [sign in to see picture]
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    I think rose hip is right. If this were an engagement ring would you have reached the stage to hand that back or might you have just slipped it off and put it in a drawer and wait and see?

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