• Relationship Breaks

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    Lady Ness [sign in to see picture]
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    What would you define as a relationship break? Do you feel that people only take breaks when they think there's no hope in the relationship? Or do you think that people take breaks for all kinds of reasons? From health reasons, work, cultural, emotional, and more.

    Do you think there's a set way to take a break? We're always going on about relationships having rules, and often their own unique ones too, do we handle relationship breaks with rules too? Do our relationship rules influence our break rules too?

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    FrozenAngel [sign in to see picture]
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    TBH I've never seen the point in having a break in a realtionship, if I needed a break I think it would be because the OH was doing my head in but then I'd question whether I actually wanted to be with him then.

    I'd more than likely go away for a few days/week with the girls and leave him to his own devices (I don't have to do that since he's away a lot)

    If I thought there was no hope in a realtionship then I wouldn't have a break, I'd end the realtionship. I've always thought life's too short to be regretting/hating who your with. When I've ever got to that point I've ended things and tried to remain friends.

    I'm not much of a 'sharer' when it comes to the person I'm with so I think I'd get too annoyed going on abreak too because if he got with someone else even if we was on a break I think in my head I'd consider it cheating lol he's mine! So as long as I'm with him he will remain mine! You'd think I was an only child lol.

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    BDSM [sign in to see picture]
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    I don't think breaks work. Never really seen the point of them either.

    If you need a bit of space, spend a few days apart.

    If the relationship is in trouble, communicate.

    If it is beyond repair, split up.

    It is impossible to fix anything when you are off being single.

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    danslack [sign in to see picture]
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    wat if 1 in the relationship is in ill health for a lenth of time and unable to be intermate (painfull or...) and is ok with there OH getting wat they r unable to give them some were else? coz they cair so much for there OH..

    ill just say there was 1 time my wife was ill for a good lng time and coz she super cool and knuw how much id miss sex... she asked 1 of her friensd to help her in giving me a "free pass".

    it never happened coz her mate said she would but she felt it might come between there freindship and feel a little strainge...... so then replyed no but thanks. i was ok with this coz i got on with her freind very well n thourt myslf that it might be a little strainge with us too.... was cool chatting wit her n winding her up too.

    but yep..wat if it was break coz of ill health n understood??

    1369507874

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    we had a break...there was never a problem between myself and my wife but a major problem between myself and our daughter , I simply could not live in the same house as her any more. I got a job in China and left our family home with no plans ever to return. I threw away all my possessions that I couldnt carry. China was a sex fest different women every night....but none of them came close to my wife...eventually we patched things up.....kicked the daughter out into the wild world ....the worst experience a mother and father can have, slowly we got our lives back together.....Miss G has learned the error of her ways and now I can honestly say I am a proud Dad. However in answer to the OP if my wife just said out of the blue she wanted a break I would think that is the end.

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    killerbunny [sign in to see picture]
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    I think giving some space and time to someone can work.

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    I think people only take breaks when there's not a lot of hope for the relationship.

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    WooHoo [sign in to see picture]
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    Taking a break would only work if during the break you resolved to sort whatever led to it in the first place and reach a comprimise arrangement you were both happy with. Then you might have a chance.

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    BDSM [sign in to see picture]
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    danslack wrote:

    wat if 1 in the relationship is in ill health for a lenth of time and unable to be intermate (painfull or...) and is ok with there OH getting wat they r unable to give them some were else? coz they cair so much for there OH..

    ill just say there was 1 time my wife was ill for a good lng time and coz she super cool and knuw how much id miss sex... she asked 1 of her friensd to help her in giving me a "free pass".

    it never happened coz her mate said she would but she felt it might come between there freindship and feel a little strainge...... so then replyed no but thanks. i was ok with this coz i got on with her freind very well n thourt myslf that it might be a little strainge with us too.... was cool chatting wit her n winding her up too.

    but yep..wat if it was break coz of ill health n understood??

    Sorry but i just don't get that at all. There have been long periods of time in my marriage, when either he of I was unable to have sex due to health issues. There is absolutely no way in this world, that either of us would consider it acceptable to have sex with someone else. In sickness and in health

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    spiceitup [sign in to see picture]
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    Relationship breaks are a way of saying "I want to leave" or "I want to be on my own" or " I'm seeing someone else"..

    i actually broke up with my other half about 14 years ago though one thing or enother but I fought for her and we got back together aftern2/3 months. We now been together since then and married for 8.

    if push come to shove and we had a relationship Break now I would be single. I could flirt again and pick up other woman which I was good at, but as I'm with her I don't banter or flirt I'm straight down the line no matter what. I have probably ignored more woman what's up for it that I cn remember when I was single.

    If you feel likeyou want a break, then i would say whatever you have is over to be thinking like this. A good relationship is one that carries on no matter what unless its unbearable. Separate beds,the slightest thing annoys you.Not for a week but for months. We all get annoyed and pissed off i in a relationship but it sorts it self out and swings around and carries on.

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    danslack [sign in to see picture]
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    BDSM wrote:

    danslack wrote:

    wat if 1 in the relationship is in ill health for a lenth of time and unable to be intermate (painfull or...) and is ok with there OH getting wat they r unable to give them some were else? coz they cair so much for there OH..

    ill just say there was 1 time my wife was ill for a good lng time and coz she super cool and knuw how much id miss sex... she asked 1 of her friensd to help her in giving me a "free pass".

    it never happened coz her mate said she would but she felt it might come between there freindship and feel a little strainge...... so then replyed no but thanks. i was ok with this coz i got on with her freind very well n thourt myslf that it might be a little strainge with us too.... was cool chatting wit her n winding her up too.

    but yep..wat if it was break coz of ill health n understood??

    Sorry but i just don't get that at all. There have been long periods of time in my marriage, when either he of I was unable to have sex due to health issues. There is absolutely no way in this world, that either of us would consider it acceptable to have sex with someone else. In sickness and in health

    suppose its down to type of relationship too....u have swinngers and people/couples who have 3sums or like to see partners with others so big part would be type of relationship n how strong ur partnership was. so totaly agree with ur post :)

    we r strong..and theres a lot more to it that i could not write in post.... would be like a book lol. i guess that was the other reason it dint happen....strong trusting partnership..

    :)

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    Lollipop ;) wrote:

    I think people only take breaks when there's not a lot of hope for the relationship.

    I have the same opinion...with us there never was a problem ..I just nneded a break from our daughter, hard to admit I couldnt cope with a 18 yr old ...but I couldnt...all is OK now though

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    Fizz and Sparkle [sign in to see picture]
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    gunther, how did you other half cope with the "sex fest" you had?

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    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
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    ive never found breaks have worked out in any positive way at all . but thats just my experiences . an ex once said he wanted to take a break for a couple weeks , some years back . it ended up with him pining for me and me realising i was much better off alone !

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    Fizz and Sparkle wrote:

    gunther, how did you other half cope with the "sex fest" you had?

    lol do you seriously think I told her....I think she may suspect but she never asked. Maybe one day when I stop working away I will 'fess up" but that would be the end of my career and would certainly change our marriage. I must add it was purely sex you cant have a relationship with someone you cant speak to (I dont speak Chinese

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    Fizz and Sparkle [sign in to see picture]
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    fair snuff!! thought she was the most accomodating women ever!!! cant see how fessing up this late date would be of any use? but thats just me, long as things are cracking now, and from your posts they seem to be!

    fancy not speaking chinese, so uneducated lolol

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    Fizz and Sparkle wrote:

    fair snuff!! thought she was the most accomodating women ever!!! cant see how fessing up this late date would be of any use? but thats just me, long as things are cracking now, and from your posts they seem to be!

    fancy not speaking chinese, so uneducated lolol

    I agree but its a burden at times..If ever she asked I think I would tell but I think the reason she never asks is because she is scared of the reply. everythings fine now.

    cheeky I speak German, French and Italian with some Japanese and Arabic. Fact is Chinese isnt a language, most foreigners learn Mandarin but only my translator spoke that my other co workers had their own dialects completely different to Mandarin.

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    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    I think people will want to take breaks from a relationship for all the reasons you described and more. What they usually mean (In my opinion) is that the person taking the break is saying "I dont feel the same way anymore" or "For whatever reason, I can not make the emotional investment in this relationship anymore" Basically, they are telling you that their reasons make it hard on them to be with you right now and they want a break.

    I personally think asking for a break is either one of two things. 1) They are not 100% sure they completely want out of the relationship yet so they are leaving a door open or 2) they are using it as the cowards way out. Rather than saying "I do not want to be with you anymore" they are saying "I just need a break..." because they don't want to hurt you so much as to say "Its over for good"

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    Fizz and Sparkle [sign in to see picture]
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    gunther wrote:

    Fizz and Sparkle wrote:

    fair snuff!! thought she was the most accomodating women ever!!! cant see how fessing up this late date would be of any use? but thats just me, long as things are cracking now, and from your posts they seem to be!

    fancy not speaking chinese, so uneducated lolol

    I agree but its a burden at times..If ever she asked I think I would tell but I think the reason she never asks is because she is scared of the reply. everythings fine now.

    cheeky I speak German, French and Italian with some Japanese and Arabic. Fact is Chinese isnt a language, most foreigners learn Mandarin but only my translator spoke that my other co workers had their own dialects completely different to Mandarin.

    lol, i only speak broad Yorkshire, but yeah, sometimes better not having something confirmed!

    but we (or I ) have hijacked the origional thread so apologies op!

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    Fizz and Sparkle wrote:lol, i only speak broad Yorkshire, but yeah, sometimes better not having something confirmed!

    but we (or I ) have hijacked the origional thread so apologies op!

    Fluffbags wrote:

    I think people will want to take breaks from a relationship for all the reasons you described and more. What they usually mean (In my opinion) is that the person taking the break is saying "I dont feel the same way anymore" or "For whatever reason, I can not make the emotional investment in this relationship anymore" Basically, they are telling you that their reasons make it hard on them to be with you right now and they want a break.

    I personally think asking for a break is either one of two things. 1) They are not 100% sure they completely want out of the relationship yet so they are leaving a door open or 2) they are using it as the cowards way out. Rather than saying "I do not want to be with you anymore" they are saying "I just need a break..." because they don't want to hurt you so much as to say "Its over for good"

    Fizz I understand Yorkshire dialect but my wife doesnt sometimes funny when we meet relatives. Mother and father came from Pickering Its amazingly close to Plat Deutsch a German dialect.

    Fluff I agree, being married, if I was to propose a break I would be going back on my wedding vows, we didnt agree to a break but a permanent split. Fortunately we worked things out, as I said there was never any problem between us, it was a real heartbreaker when I got on the plane.

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