• My BF has never had an orgasm?

    1367941196
    emma1989 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 19
    • Joined: 26 Nov 2012

    Ok so Ive been with my BF for a few years now... and we were discussing sex the other day and I asked the question... do you orgasm often? not just cum but orgasm? and he said he had never had one... not that he new of anyway? So I asked if he thought there was anything else I could be doing? But he doesn't know... hes not even sure what it would feel like. I feel really bad as I orgasm pretty much every time we have sex, I want it to be just as amazing for him. Can anyone help? suggestions and can males try to describe it so I can maybe understand if he has had one or not? Thanks x

    1367947326
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2219
    • Joined: 18 Oct 2011

    Do you know if the reason is because he has never really tried or because he has tried loads and just can't get there? I ask this to help figure out the best advice to give because if its the first I would say practice with different techniques, speeds, pressures, intensities and practice alone and with a partner (Alone he can maybe feel more relaxed and learn what he likes and how to get there. If its the second one I would probably recommend seeing a doctor to rule out any medical causes first and then trying the blanket approach.

    It sounds like you are suggesting that he can cum, or at least he ejaculates, but doesnt feel the sensations of orgasm? This is called ejaculatory anhedonia, there is lots of info online about that but its best to have a doctor confirm it isnt anything else first. x

    1367947450
    KebertXela [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 505
    • Joined: 11 Feb 2013

    Its possible to ejaculate without orgasming, but pretty damn rare.

    I think

    1367949498
    emma1989 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 19
    • Joined: 26 Nov 2012

    Yeah well from what he tells me he ejaculates but I dont think he orgasms.... my ex would orgasm every time and would tell me when it was particularly power or whatever but im just not sure whats going on.... and worst he wont really talk about it. can any other guys weigh in and give me your opinion? thanks

    1367951757
    emma1989 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 19
    • Joined: 26 Nov 2012

    Ork wrote:

    As for what if feels like... when you orgasm you know you've had an orgasm XD

    Thats kinda what I thought.... lol. but ive been reading up on all these things people are mentioning and they could be right....theres some confusing stuff out there. Also seen a few things when researching anorgasmic about ADHD (which my partner has) so not sure if the two are related or not. however hes not worried about it and doesnt ever seem dissapointed... so I really shouldnt worry lol. Its just HE knows when im having an orgasm (the whole street knows) but it would just be nice if I could feel/hear or kow if he was having one.... its kinda confusing. But thanks for all the help guys

    1367954344
    dotdashdot [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 768
    • Joined: 7 Jun 2009

    I thought that with guys if you came then that was your orgasm? Maybe I'm wrong. Some men just don't seem as sensitive to the effects of orgasm as others.. same with women. There are a few threads on lovehoney relating to orgasm that have been started recently, worth a read. Sorry I can't be of more help! x

    1367957146
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2219
    • Joined: 18 Oct 2011

    emma1989 wrote:

    Yeah well from what he tells me he ejaculates but I dont think he orgasms.... my ex would orgasm every time and would tell me when it was particularly power or whatever but im just not sure whats going on.... and worst he wont really talk about it. can any other guys weigh in and give me your opinion? thanks

    He probably wont talk about it because he either feels like there is something wrong and hes a bit embarrassed or he feels that he is completely normal and is worried about you reaction to it. The best thing to do is make him realise somehow that you are not judging him and are wanting to help if he wants help, if not then I dunno what to suggest.

    I know men can ejaculate without cumming and cum without ejaculating, both are normal for one offs or now and again but from what I am reading here, her bloke can ejaculate most of the time (or he tells her he does) but doesnt, and hasnt ever experienced the sensations of orgasm. This sounds more like a problem to me. Of course if he doesnt see it as a problem then fair enough but if he does want help I don't think "trying different techniques" will work.

    I mean, as we all grow up and learn to masturbate, most of us discover the feeling of orgasm, the sensations that get us there, and for men they usually ejaculate too. Some people find this process really hard and no matter what they try they cannot orgasm (This is anorgasmia) but I think what this man is experiencing is different still. He clearly knows how to pleasure himself to ejaculate but when he does, there is no sensation of orgasm. This sounds like a medical or emotional issue to me rather than the wrong kind of stimulation. I am not a doctor though, but to be it still sounds more like ejaculatory anhedonia.

    If his problem was just a "now and then" thing, that would be "normal" but every single time? never felt an orgasm? Surely gentlemen, this isnt normal? orgasm is supposed to feel good right? and although you may occasional have missed or ruined orgasms, every time isnt right no?

    1367958009

    [suspended user]

    suspended user
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3036
    • Joined: 16 Feb 2012

    there was a thread about this just a few days ago...latin name for the condition...cant for the life of me remember what it is

    1367963793
    emma1989 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 19
    • Joined: 26 Nov 2012

    ok to clear it up so yous can understand me better. I was under the impression a guy can ejaculate but not neccesarily orgasm? (much like a woman) My OH does ejaculate every time but (as he wont talk about) I dont think he has ever had an orgasm... or is it just that he doesnt understand thats what hes having?

    im just trying to understand.... does an orgasm for a man feel similar to that of a womans? (as woman know... you know when you have had an orgasm) where as for guys is there any sense of anything other than release?

    I know when I have an orgasm (especially a powerful one), I have no control over myself.. I moan/grunt/writhe all in pleasure and cant really control it... is this a similar feeling for guys? Do you get a feeling thats outwith your control or imense intensity? Im just confused... i think i need to understand how it feels different for a man to ejaculate and to have an orgasm..?

    1367964580
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2219
    • Joined: 18 Oct 2011

    Ohhh then yeh a man can ejaculate without orgasm, as already mentioned.

    As for the sensations, can I ask are you concerned about your mans orgasm not being there because he doesnt react in the same way as when you orgasm? (With the noises and writhing etc) I just ask because I know that quite often, blokes are less vocal/wriggly than females. lol Not always but often.

    Trying to describe how an orgasm feels is quite tough. I just tried to think how to describe mine and my blokes struggling now when I asked him lol, but he says it is like this building feeling of pleasure around the crotch area, that builds to a peak of pleasure where you know you are on the edge of orgasm then he feels himself going over, he feels a tightening of the muscles around his crotch area and then he goes over and its like a slow explosion of pleasure, afterwards his all your muscles in his whole body feel relaxed and he feels really sleepy.

    He says he hasnt ever felt out of control. He does make noises and writhes but if he had to (say someone walked in the room) he could control it, as could I in the same situation.

    His orgasms sound reasonably similar to my orgasms to be honest, although I am sure I read that guys have a different peak and fall...was so long ago I cant remember the details now.

    Hope that helps somewhat.

    1367966345
    emma1989 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 19
    • Joined: 26 Nov 2012

    Ok thanks Fluffbags and Ork. That does clear it up a big for me. Think I do just need to get him to talk about it so thanks for all the help and advice :) x

    Post a reply to this thread

    Please sign in to post messages to the forum.