• nerves??

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    JayBee_x [sign in to see picture]
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    LauraK wrote:

    Just saw another one of your posts, I really think your anxiety about this will decrease by being with someone you trust :) please don't go for it with this work guy, you're SO much better than him!

    yeah im already on the list to talk to someone but think i will change doctors been on for weeks and thankyou i guess it helps if im comfortable with that person

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    LauraK wrote:

    Just saw another one of your posts, I really think your anxiety about this will decrease by being with someone you trust :) please don't go for it with this work guy, you're SO much better than him!

    LauraK wrote:

    I feel so bad for you guys that seem to have terrible doctors but please don't rule out going there! Though I think it's protocol to start with pills you could try going to your doctors but specifically say you would prefer to speak to a therapist. By getting a therapist hopefully you'll beable to discuss everything thats making you anxious including the oral sex thing :) If they don't listen and refer you to a mental health professional find another doctor!

    Personally I think it's a bit hit and miss with therapists too but I'm sure it will work out :)

    I agree you you Laura, that therapists can be really 'hit and miss'. There's plenty of 'therapists' out there who set them selves up with dubious qualifications, or a lack of them, but with membership of some association. I think that JB has real issues with her thought processes, that make her unduly fearful of 'getting it wrong'. That does need a systematic (CBT) approach to correct it. It doesn't need 'someone sympathetic' or some 'therapist' to give her a chance to talk about her problems. That will achieve very little, frankly.

    I don't like to contradict you..... I know what you've written is thoughtful, and from the heart. : ) x

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    LauraK [sign in to see picture]
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    That's completly okay, I don't think I made it completely clear but I was angling it at CBT. I myself have had a course of it and did find it helpful. However, I'm currently seeing someone who is actually a sport psychologist and I have to say I've achieved more in my sessions with her than I did over six weeks of CBT. Ive found that the real difference between the two is the coping strategies that have been suggested. With CBT I was offered general coping strategies that work for most individuals with anxiety, whereas in this case the strategies are much more tailored to how I best cope with anxiety. So I meant to first talk through the problems before devising a sound way to deal with the anxiety should it arise in the situation... not to just get it off her chest so to speak :)

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    LauraK [sign in to see picture]
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    Yeah, I mean if they don't get things done changing doctors is definitely worth a shot :) Also if you haven't looked at the link to the workbooks I posted they might help (and theyre free). When I was in CBT we pretty much just used them, they have exercises in that you apply to situations you feel anxious about, then you evaluate why it makes you feel nervous and how to rationalise those feelings. It's not for everyone but hopefully it helps :)

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    LauraK [sign in to see picture]
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    And I'm guessing you quote posts when replying to people * facepalm*

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    LauraK wrote:

    And I'm guessing you quote posts when replying to people * facepalm*

    Thanks for the clarification, Laura. You've left me a bit shame-faced..... because you obviously do know what you're on about..... whereas I'm out of touch with modern procedures for counselling referrals etc. Anyway, I get the point you are making.

    Re quoting.... it's better to use it, because sometimes another post comes in above you while you are writing, making for confusion. : ) x

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    killerbunny [sign in to see picture]
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    Don't know. I'm just nervous until somthing or someone stops it. It just pass.

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    JayBee_x [sign in to see picture]
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    maybe i just need to do it,im a very impatient person and tbh im already on the waiting list to talk too someone

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    naughtywildfun90 [sign in to see picture]
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    I've been with my OH nearly 3 years now and I still get nervous around him. He says I don't initiate sex enough but it just terrifies me. I have no confidence so I'll start doing something then think to myself "he'll think this is stupid" or he's not going to like this. I end up just not initiating then we don't have sex for a week or over. When he does say no for whatever reason I get so upset and it knocks me straight back to square one! The only thing I can do to get over my nerves is to have a good drink lol xx

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    JayBee_x [sign in to see picture]
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    naughtywildfun90 wrote:

    I've been with my OH nearly 3 years now and I still get nervous around him. He says I don't initiate sex enough but it just terrifies me. I have no confidence so I'll start doing something then think to myself "he'll think this is stupid" or he's not going to like this. I end up just not initiating then we don't have sex for a week or over. When he does say no for whatever reason I get so upset and it knocks me straight back to square one! The only thing I can do to get over my nerves is to have a good drink lol xx

    yeah same here tbh haha just gives me that little bit more confidnece xx

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    JayBee_x wrote:

    naughtywildfun90 wrote:

    I've been with my OH nearly 3 years now and I still get nervous around him. He says I don't initiate sex enough but it just terrifies me. I have no confidence so I'll start doing something then think to myself "he'll think this is stupid" or he's not going to like this. I end up just not initiating then we don't have sex for a week or over. When he does say no for whatever reason I get so upset and it knocks me straight back to square one! The only thing I can do to get over my nerves is to have a good drink lol xx

    yeah same here tbh haha just gives me that little bit more confidnece xx

    ladies the first 25 years is the worst....after that you just laugh about it all

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