• Advice on being dominant

    1367071317
    SexyBumBully [sign in to see picture]
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    I have a new fuck buddy, who loves being dominated in the bedroom. He already as a fair bit of bondage gear (blindfold, tape, nipple clamps, whips, gags ect) he also has a strap on.

    Naturally, I'm a sub. I absolutley love being dominated, which is great because he's happy to do that too. But he really wants me to dominate him. Only thing is, I don't really know how!

    I'm confident I do enough to keep him happy for now as my teasing skills are quite good (strip tease, using my mouth) but I'd like to give him more of what he wants.

    So basically, I'm just after a little advice on how to be a little more confident in the bedroom so I can be more dominant and also some tips on what sort of things might be good for someone with very little experience to start with.

    Thanks in advance guys,

    SBB xx

    1367072782
    gentleman uk [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi there, Just thought i would suggest a few things as im a guy who also likes to be dominated from time to time.

    Why not start with taking away all his contol. If hes anything like me he will love it. Tie him down to the bed (underbed restraints or something similar) completly naked. Gag him then just start to tease. Maybe do your stip tease, grind up against him etc. Using your mouth to bring him close, then stop, tease some more. Maybe even straddle him and make him watch while you play with your self and use some toys. (Sorry dont hope im not being too graphic).

    Anyway just have fun with it and keep teasing. if he is tied down and gagged then really its up to you to take your time and just relax. Enjoy having control. When your ready maybe undo the restraints and start ordering him about. This is where you can break out the strap on haha.

    My overall advice though, dont let him finish till the very end. The longer you have control over that, the more dominiant you are!

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    BoundSub [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi, this advise is coming from the other side- I'm the naturally submissive one in my relationship. But it's what my master does to me on occasion, and I like it.

    I agree with 'Gentleman uk' that you should use his bondage gear to tie him up (hands to the headboard, feet restrained too if you've got something like this: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=19809 ). Naked of course.

    If you're not that confident dominating, then blindfold him- it takes some of the pressure off because if you muff up/ embarrass yourself, he can't see you! Plus it hightenes his sensations when you touch him. Then you can start kissing him from head all the way down, EXCEPT touching his goods, and generally tease the heck out of him. By the end he should be begging you to finish him off/ touch him down there.

    If you feel more adventerous/confident add extra sensations: his whips, an ice-cube... Or even take the blindfold off and do this all in a sexy outfit.

    Yep, but by the end, order him to f*k you/ make you cum through anyway you want.

    If you're feeling mean, while he's tied up, you could ride him, wait till he's close, get off, then finish yourself off and leave him there to stew for a bit with a porno on in the background... Orgasm denial is a pretty dominant thing to do.

    It can be hard to be dominant if you're naturally submissive, but start small and once you do it a few times, your confidence will grow, and you can be more bold with what you try out on him. You know what they say: practise makes perfect ;P

    Good luck!

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    Jman592 [sign in to see picture]
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    Sometimes dressing up can make you feel a bit more dominant...just see it as play-acting and suddenly you'll feel the part! :)

    1367075207
    gentleman uk [sign in to see picture]
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    BoundSub wrote:

    If you're feeling mean, while he's tied up, you could ride him, wait till he's close, get off, then finish yourself off and leave him there to stew for a bit with a porno on in the background... Orgasm denial is a pretty dominant thing to do.

    Now that is mean. But very nice. Lol i would love it if a partner did this to me. Its all about control. He has none, you have it all. For me personally there was no better feeling than being so close to orgasm yet not being able to satify myself. I watched helpess as my partner just played with her rabbit just inchs from my face.

    Getting slightly hot just thinking about it now haha.

    1367075308
    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
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    gentleman uk wrote:

    BoundSub wrote:

    If you're feeling mean, while he's tied up, you could ride him, wait till he's close, get off, then finish yourself off and leave him there to stew for a bit with a porno on in the background... Orgasm denial is a pretty dominant thing to do.

    Now that is mean. But very nice. Lol i would love it if a partner did this to me. Its all about control. He has none, you have it all. For me personally there was no better feeling than being so close to orgasm yet not being able to satify myself. I watched helpess as my partner just played with her rabbit just inchs from my face.

    Getting slightly hot just thinking about it now haha.

    taht sounds fun actually !

    1367075636
    SexyBumBully [sign in to see picture]
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    Jman592 wrote:

    Sometimes dressing up can make you feel a bit more dominant...just see it as play-acting and suddenly you'll feel the part! :)

    I have dress up down to a tee haha. I have loads of lingerie that I can wear and I'm slowly adding to the collection. I love wearing lingerie, it does help with the confidence as I always get a very passionate reaction out of him when he sees me in it.

    Just need to have more confidence in the actual domination.

    Thanks for the advice so far, keep it coming! ;)

    SBB x

    1367076273
    BoundSub [sign in to see picture]
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    gentleman uk wrote:

    BoundSub wrote:

    If you're feeling mean, while he's tied up, you could ride him, wait till he's close, get off, then finish yourself off and leave him there to stew for a bit with a porno on in the background... Orgasm denial is a pretty dominant thing to do.

    Now that is mean. But very nice. Lol i would love it if a partner did this to me. Its all about control. He has none, you have it all. For me personally there was no better feeling than being so close to orgasm yet not being able to satify myself. I watched helpess as my partner just played with her rabbit just inchs from my face.

    Getting slightly hot just thinking about it now haha.

    One of the best feelings! I love it when I'm bound and my master is doing something to drive me crazy/close, but I can't satisfy myself/ touch him. Knowing that's he's so in control and I'm not, is such a turn-on.

    Even though I'm the sub, when he let's me, I love teasing my partner until he's close, keeping him on edge for a while, and then not finishing him off till later. Luckily for me, doesn't mind my slight orgasm denials. Drives him insane. But in a good way. haha :)

    1367076526
    SexyBumBully [sign in to see picture]
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    gentleman uk wrote:

    BoundSub wrote:

    If you're feeling mean, while he's tied up, you could ride him, wait till he's close, get off, then finish yourself off and leave him there to stew for a bit with a porno on in the background... Orgasm denial is a pretty dominant thing to do.

    Now that is mean. But very nice. Lol i would love it if a partner did this to me. Its all about control. He has none, you have it all. For me personally there was no better feeling than being so close to orgasm yet not being able to satify myself. I watched helpess as my partner just played with her rabbit just inchs from my face.

    Getting slightly hot just thinking about it now haha.

    Loving this idea. We sext alot and I think I've mentioned doing this before and it seemed to turn him on from what I remember so I'll be giving this a try!

    It's ridiculous how excited I am to try being the dom, I know how much he'd love it so it's a turn on for me too!

    1367077127
    gentleman uk [sign in to see picture]
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    Well im sure your have lots of fun. Glad your so excited about it. Who knows, you might actually prefer it to beeing a sub ;)

    The one thing that i have always wanted to try is a riding crop. Maybe its just me but i would love a dom to run a riding crop over my over body and tease me. I havent tried it yet but hopfully soon :)

    As for the dress up idea, go for it! what ever gives you the most confidence. Be sexy lingerie or a full on laxtex cat suit and thigh high boots haha. Whatever works. :) Sure you will drive him crazy (good way haha)

    1367078263
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    My advice would be to think about it before you go into it and formulate a vague (or in depth) plan of action. So I am going to do this, then this, then this. Of course it might change during your play time but having some kind of plan will give you a bit more confidence knowing that you wont suddenly freeze up and wonder what to do next.

    Here are some things we enjoy, maybe you can add the ones you like the sound of:

    Making him ask for permission to cum, when he does ask, tease him "Is that it? That doesnt sound like begging. Clearly you dont want it badly enough" Tease him right to the edge, you will be able to get him as close as possible if you make him tell you when to stop. To turn this into a dom thing I usually say something like "You don't have permission to cum so you had better tell me when to stop or someone will be in trouble" Any kind of delaying, teasing and denying his orgasm is all good. When you are ready to let him cum, instead of just saying "Yes" I once played a game with my guy: Basically its called the two second rule. I get him to the edge and he tells me to stop but I only allow him two seconds rest to pull back from the brink before I stimulate him again. Of course the "stop" starts to come quicker and quicker and within 30 seconds he will likely cum. Then I get to smack his ass :D Orgasm play is a massive turn on for us and it holds a lot of power.

    Tie his hands and feet and then sit over his face, not quite near enough for him to be able to lick you. (Tell him no touching) Play with yourself, use toys/dildos, finger your bum...whatever you know rocks his world and occasionally lower yourself on his face just to his lips and say "No touching" then back up again. I occasionally let him have a lick, coz I am sweet like that lol. Any cheekiness and simply pull away further..

    Speaking of cheekiness, if he ever does break one of your rules or pushes his luck there are some things you can do to tease him like climbing off him, blindfolding him and saying "Now you dont get to watch" Then go back onto his face and continue masturbating over him, occasionally lowering yourself again. You can ask "Are you going to be good now" to remove his blindfold again.

    Something you could do with the blindfold thing is to not use it and make him close his eyes instead. This is gunna be harder for him to do, esp if you are over his face masturbating but demand it and if he fails...take away his cookie. :D

    We kind of enjoy slight humiliation play as you can probably tell lol, which brings me to my next point, if you wanna make him feel naughty for cumming without "punishing" him, you could try placing a pair of your favourite pants near his penis, or even cover him with the bedsheets while you play. Basically the idea here is to let him know that if he cums, hes gunna cum somewhere that you wont be best pleased about. I also once took him close numerous times then pulled up his jeans and buttoned them up and then straddled him and dry humped him. Because he was already so close he came in his pants, that was hot, especially hearing him say stop stop....nope! lol

    Another game to play during his begging to cum....wait a few minutes until the sensations have died down a fair bit and then say "Aww baby you wanna cum? Ok you got 5 seconds" Then give him oral or a handjob or sex for that amount of time and climb off saying "Clearly you dont wanna cum that badly eh" lol

    Ok I am evil.

    Generally you want to think about things you will give him as a reward and things you will deny him as punishment. You may also consider incoprorating some anal play or threats of pounding his ass with that strap-on

    Im gunna stop now before this turns into an essay but have fun!

    1367078846
    SexyBumBully [sign in to see picture]
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    Wow, thank you very much Fluffbags, Some amazing ideas there that I may be using in the future once I've built my confidence up abit more.

    What sort of underwear/lingerie do people recommend I wear whilst I have control? I have quite a few baby dolls but they are best worn when I'm the sub as they give me a more "sweet and innocent" look?

    1367079550
    S&M sexy times [sign in to see picture]
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    Maybe a pvc or latex outfit.

    I would really like to be dominated by my other half, we have a book on it, I'm just hoping she'll read it sometime, I would find it a nice change, Fluffbags ideas sound great fun.

    1367079968
    gentleman uk [sign in to see picture]
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    well i love a woman in latex and leather haha e.g. http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=11870

    But how about something like this:

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=5388

    maybe combine with some stockings ?

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    BoundSub [sign in to see picture]
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    Suspenders, stockings, corset, and heels? Something definitely tight and figure hugging.

    1367080344
    SexyBumBully [sign in to see picture]
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    The corset in my profile picture is something he really wants to see as he's only seen it in a photo so far but i have all the pieces for that.

    What's that second link gentleman? It's not working.

    Thanks

    1367080725
    gentleman uk [sign in to see picture]
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    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=5388

    Not sure why it didnt work. The corset in your pic looks great. Cant go wrong with a nice corset :)

    1367081702
    SexyBumBully [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you. I have a better picture of it on my phone but I've lost my usb cable so cant upload it yet.

    I do love a good corset, even if they are a nightmare to put on/take off.

    I don't have a big budget though as I am a student :( haha

    1367082030
    gentleman uk [sign in to see picture]
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    Haha tell me about it, i am a student too..

    1367082253
    SexyBumBully [sign in to see picture]
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    It's just not good, thank god I'm living with my mum, couldn't afford to drive if I didn't. Ah well, only a year left!

    One day I will own something from here...

    http://www.westwardbound.com/

    They have the most amazing collection

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