• Spanking Advice?

    1360966411
    WeapingAngel [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm new to the Scene and I was wondering if there are any tips and tricks to administer a thorough spanking?

    Thanks

    1360969123
    Midnightlou [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 24 Jun 2012

    Set the rules out from the start ie what they do to get a spanking, number of spanks and what you use.

    It's great fun either way

    1360974584
    WeapingAngel [sign in to see picture]
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    I've done some resarch on the topic, but i was wondering if someone had some advice on what kind of implements are most effective (we've toyed around with a few like, belts, crops and such) and in which order to use them.

    Also, is it wise to spank on healing bruises?

    1360978128
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 18 Oct 2011

    Ok some tips I guess. (and forgive me but these may come rapid fire and out of order as I type this down)

    1) As with anything new, take it slow and have a safeword. A word that can be called which simply and without question means "Stop now" We have two safewords. One to indicate that whatever is happening is becoming too much and can we just calm down a bit but not stop, and another which means "Stop now, playtime over" (Yellow and red are good ones for this)

    2) Start slow and build up the intensity.

    3) Learn to read your partners reactions well.

    4) Try arranging a few spanking session with the intent to slowly build up intensity until your partner has to use the safeword. This will then teach you both what kind of pain, how much pain and where the pain is that your partner likes and roughly where the limits are so you can take your partner to the edge and back in subsequent sessions without breaking them.

    5) If you are gagging your partner, find another method to "safeword" There are many suggestions, tapping on the headboard, holding and dropping keys/a ball/a scarf. Kicking you in the ba....no scrub that one :D You get the drift though.

    5) Different areas of the body have different pain thresholds. bare that in mind and learn how much your partner can take. Just because he/she can take a good wollop across the bum doesnt mean she can take the same across her breasts or thighs etc.

    6) Mix it up. I like this but some people dont. Try a couple of spanks or ten and then some soft strokes and caressing of the spanked area for example. Or find some silky material or feathers or ice or anything sensory really and use these in between spanking bouts. It really heightens the sensations. (For me)

    7) What about the other senses? Well sometimes blindfolding is best (Hey they dont know whats coming or when and thats scary) but sometimes making them watch as you slowlyyyy reach for that huge whip and start slapping closer, and closer...is scary in its own, sadistic way. :D There is also the option of putting a headset on your partner with music playing to muffle their hearing and that adds dimension to the situation. "where is he/she, whats going on"

    Ok so thats the general basics covered. Now onto the more in depth questions. Firstly how to give her a thorough spanking.

    Well my suggestion would be as above, start slow, ramp up the intensity but really this is all about learning what your partner likes. Some people might want you to go in hard and fast and have them crying within 10 minutes, others might only enjoy one kind of spanking tool while others still might want to feel a broad range of sensations during one session. Some get bored and achy after 30 minutes and just want to stop others want it to never end.

    The only way to work out how to give your partner a thorough spanking is to try different techniques, impliments and intensities over different sessions and to talk about it afterwards honestly. Ask questions like, so what felt good and what did you really not want me to do again? (I am ignoring the fact of punishment vs funishment for this post because I am assuming as a beginner you are wanting funishment. If I am wrong please except apologies) Ask if she felt it went on for long enough or could she/he take more or want more. Ask which impliments they enjoyed the best. Ask if they enjoyed the sporadic spanks with little breaks between each one or the full on smack smack smack with no let up. Over time you will get to know the right way to give that thorough spanking.

    Next toys.

    In general, the thinner the toy is the "stingier" the pain will be and the bigger/flatter a toy is (eg paddles) give a more "thuddy" deep sensation. Floggers laying somewhere in the middle. So which should you go for? well, its like marmite this one. Some people love a good viper lash or cane sting and other shudder away from that and opt for a nice paddle or palm. Some of the most effective stingy sensations come from the likes of the viper tongue whips and canes. As for the thuddier sensations well I actually find a hand or a paddle we have with a leather covered side. I havent tried anything "extreme" (I havent ever had open wounds from spanking) but I can tell you that even a palm can leave some almighty bruising! So as for effective, I guess it depends on how long your spanking, how many spanks, how hard the spanks are, because most spanky tools have the ability to at least give you a bright red arse if not more.

    As for spanking on healing bruises, I have had that done and it hurts like a bitch but didnt do any permanent damage to me. I cannot really say for sure that it won't though, anything is possible if you are not careful.

    Enjoy! :D

    1360978661
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2236
    • Joined: 18 Oct 2011

    Also some helpful forum threads already on this subject so more information in these:

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-toys/10375-we-want-to-try-spanking-what-feeling-do-you/

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/off-topic/497054-spanking/

    http://www.traceycox.com/blog/2009/05/07/tracey-cox-spanking-guide/

    1360979256
    Love my slave [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 22 Dec 2012

    Agree with fluffbags that a safe word is most important, go crazy and experiment knowing you can stop it if it gets too much. Your partner will also get to know how far is too far when you use your safe word.

    1361020267
    WeapingAngel [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 11
    • Joined: 9 Dec 2012

    Thanks a lot!

    Yeah, I have read about the colour coding and that's what we are doing at the moment and I've gotten to orange a couple of times, but never to red.

    Thanks for all the advice, really helpful :)

    1361055998
    KinkyFuckery [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3587
    • Joined: 10 Jul 2012

    Fluffbags wrote:

    Ok some tips I guess. (and forgive me but these may come rapid fire and out of order as I type this down)

    1) As with anything new, take it slow and have a safeword. A word that can be called which simply and without question means "Stop now" We have two safewords. One to indicate that whatever is happening is becoming too much and can we just calm down a bit but not stop, and another which means "Stop now, playtime over" (Yellow and red are good ones for this)

    2) Start slow and build up the intensity.

    3) Learn to read your partners reactions well.

    4) Try arranging a few spanking session with the intent to slowly build up intensity until your partner has to use the safeword. This will then teach you both what kind of pain, how much pain and where the pain is that your partner likes and roughly where the limits are so you can take your partner to the edge and back in subsequent sessions without breaking them.

    5) If you are gagging your partner, find another method to "safeword" There are many suggestions, tapping on the headboard, holding and dropping keys/a ball/a scarf. Kicking you in the ba....no scrub that one :D You get the drift though.

    5) Different areas of the body have different pain thresholds. bare that in mind and learn how much your partner can take. Just because he/she can take a good wollop across the bum doesnt mean she can take the same across her breasts or thighs etc.

    6) Mix it up. I like this but some people dont. Try a couple of spanks or ten and then some soft strokes and caressing of the spanked area for example. Or find some silky material or feathers or ice or anything sensory really and use these in between spanking bouts. It really heightens the sensations. (For me)

    7) What about the other senses? Well sometimes blindfolding is best (Hey they dont know whats coming or when and thats scary) but sometimes making them watch as you slowlyyyy reach for that huge whip and start slapping closer, and closer...is scary in its own, sadistic way. :D There is also the option of putting a headset on your partner with music playing to muffle their hearing and that adds dimension to the situation. "where is he/she, whats going on"

    Ok so thats the general basics covered. Now onto the more in depth questions. Firstly how to give her a thorough spanking.

    Well my suggestion would be as above, start slow, ramp up the intensity but really this is all about learning what your partner likes. Some people might want you to go in hard and fast and have them crying within 10 minutes, others might only enjoy one kind of spanking tool while others still might want to feel a broad range of sensations during one session. Some get bored and achy after 30 minutes and just want to stop others want it to never end.

    The only way to work out how to give your partner a thorough spanking is to try different techniques, impliments and intensities over different sessions and to talk about it afterwards honestly. Ask questions like, so what felt good and what did you really not want me to do again? (I am ignoring the fact of punishment vs funishment for this post because I am assuming as a beginner you are wanting funishment. If I am wrong please except apologies) Ask if she felt it went on for long enough or could she/he take more or want more. Ask which impliments they enjoyed the best. Ask if they enjoyed the sporadic spanks with little breaks between each one or the full on smack smack smack with no let up. Over time you will get to know the right way to give that thorough spanking.

    Next toys.

    In general, the thinner the toy is the "stingier" the pain will be and the bigger/flatter a toy is (eg paddles) give a more "thuddy" deep sensation. Floggers laying somewhere in the middle. So which should you go for? well, its like marmite this one. Some people love a good viper lash or cane sting and other shudder away from that and opt for a nice paddle or palm. Some of the most effective stingy sensations come from the likes of the viper tongue whips and canes. As for the thuddier sensations well I actually find a hand or a paddle we have with a leather covered side. I havent tried anything "extreme" (I havent ever had open wounds from spanking) but I can tell you that even a palm can leave some almighty bruising! So as for effective, I guess it depends on how long your spanking, how many spanks, how hard the spanks are, because most spanky tools have the ability to at least give you a bright red arse if not more.

    As for spanking on healing bruises, I have had that done and it hurts like a bitch but didnt do any permanent damage to me. I cannot really say for sure that it won't though, anything is possible if you are not careful.

    Enjoy! :D

    Very good advice fluffbags x

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