• Secret toy buying?

    1358561224
    bite me. [sign in to see picture]
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    I want to buy an 8 inch dildo from LH to experiment with while masturbating, but I'm afraid to tell my boyfriend because I think he may feel his penis isn't big enough and feel upset, replaced etc. I dont want to keep secrets, but damaging his ego is also the last thing I want to do. What should I do?

    1358562499
    jimm88 [sign in to see picture]
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    Talk to him. You never know. .. he might like the idea :) and join in!

    1358576788
    mibbles [sign in to see picture]
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    nothing to hide or be ashamed off tell him and i bet he will like the idea

    1358600519
    KinkyFuckery [sign in to see picture]
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    My ex OH didnt know I had toys until he found them but he was a 'not ass' kind of man so it didnt really bother him, you know your OH better than anyone , you will know how he would react if he found them rather you tell him x

    1358613595
    benjy [sign in to see picture]
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    i dont now if other men think this but i find it a massive turn on watching girls play with them selfs with toys... maybe ask your boyfriend to buy you one and tell him he can watch ....... and see how fast he gets his cash card out

    1358618053
    Roxxi_Jezebelle [sign in to see picture]
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    I think a lot of men find it a turn on! My OH loves watching me play with the toys until he can't take it anymore and has to join in! So I think honesty is the best policy with your OH and I bet you'll have a good response from him!

    SS x

    1358635676
    Ilovemyman [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree with the others, talk to him, if you are worried about him being upset about size, get something else first and get the 8 incher later x

    1358705200
    Minxbaby [sign in to see picture]
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    Sometimes playing with a toy is not anything to do with the other person...what I mean is it's nice to have different textures to feel and different movements and control over something that can't move back

    For instance, I have a big blue dildo and I just love my OH licking me and just holding it inside of me.......unless he can lick and fuck me at the same time then what else can we do lol

    I also love to play with myself while he is inside me (similar sensations to the above) however, he can never just stay there with his cock inside me - he has to move (which is nice sometimes) but that's what I mean about control over something that can't move.

    He is happy that I/we use toys and he bought me a wand for christmas and wow is all I can say but even if I bought a huge thick toy - he wouldn't think that it was a slight against him

    Is he insecure about other things? Do you have other toys? You can use normal vibes on him - teasing his cock, against his balls etc so a vibe is a mutual toy

    If you don't have any toys, then maybe take him shopping and buy one together

    1358720701
    MissPeaches [sign in to see picture]
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    as everyone said, just talk to him. My bf ended up buying me this - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=18283

    thats 10" and amaizing! even better when he uses it on me

    1358721072
    mrs average [sign in to see picture]
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    Yep I'd say talk to him but maybe suggest buying something for him too, maybe a vibrating cock ring to stimulate him during sex. Also you could suggest he christen it by using it on you, and he could have controll of it so it's only used when you both agree.

    1358722269
    lover222 [sign in to see picture]
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    still waiting for my promise mrs not so average............

    1361830836
    bite me. [sign in to see picture]
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    Well I decided to talk to him about it and explain, but he reacted just as I predicted and got all jealous :( I've tried to buy him toys and even suggested getting outfits for me to wear for him but he doesn't seem bothered :/ we have a strong 2 year relationship despite living 60 miles apart, but since we only get to see each other every 2 weeks I decided to buy a dildo anyway and not tell him :S

    1361879002
    James and Michelle (mr and mrs) [sign in to see picture]
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    Im sure you will enjoy your toy. Im sorry if your partner doesn’t like toys but for me watching my OH with a toy is a big turn on, it may be worth showing him the toy at some stage (leave it a while so not to upset him). As for the outfits, you could use one to lead up to a sex toy, you could get a police uniform then the baton/truncheon could double as a ‘spur of the moment’ toy. Again perhaps a cheerleader outfit with pompom handles that you could use (we have tried this, this is how we first tried double penetration). Just some ideas for you to consider.

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    notlikely2 [sign in to see picture]
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    I wouod love it if my OH presented me with a toy like that. I would want her to use it on me tho as well as using it on herself while I watch x

    1361894095
    KebertXela [sign in to see picture]
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    I would avoid anything that could threaten his ego.

    Anything where he can play with the controls should be good, if it good enough for for Charlie 2.0, it should be ood enough for anyone

    1361899995
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    I do not agree with "I would avoid anything that could threaten his ego"

    At the end of the day men and women masturbate. Women (generally) find it harder to orgasm manually and a lot of us get more enjoyment from feeling a vibrator and something bigger than our own finger inside of us (Which is awkward anyway because, well, angles..)

    Its a piece of plastic, or rubber used to make a more fulfilling masturbation session. It saddens me when I hear women have to hide their toys in shame or to "protect my boyfriends ego" If I was in bed with a man and I was struggling to get the stimulation I needed but felt like I couldnt reach for a bullet or something I could feel pretty disappointed that the guy was so narrow minded as to not see he was denying me pleasure...for what?

    I guess it boils down to massive insecurity and males thinking that their woman might "Get used" to having something bigger, faster, firmer, whatever and prefer that sensation to their boyfriend, which is bullcrap.

    I dont think any of us would exchange our boyfriends/husbands for your sex toys. A relationship with someone is a lot stronger and deeper and sex toys are just an addition to the bedroom fun just like anything else, oral, anal, tickling, kissing, sucking, vibrating....its just another sensation and just because vibrations "get us off" more reliably than another act, doesnt mean it should be a threat, rather if I was a man I would celebrate the fact my woman is lying there having orgasms with me, even if it was a vibrator that did it.

    But just because it can be more reliable it doesnt mean thats all we will want. No sex toy can replicate the sensation of a tongue (Even the squeel) No vibrator can hold you and squueze you and kiss you and run its hands over your body while it penetrates you....I could go on the point is...its a massive shame that anyone should feel threatened by something that makes their partner feel good.

    Original Poster: I do not know what to suggest except that you shouldnt have to go without your desires or wishes in life based on the ego of the person you are with. I understand everyone is different and if you go through a relationship with someone who is insecure going "Tough shit, I like it" might be a bit harsh but in the same respect you shouldnt have to bow down to his ego. I mean whats next? "You cant wear that skirt its too short"? If it was me I wouldnt of given a partner a choice on this matter. It would of been a case of "Love me love my toys" lol It would of probably been a big problem if I couldnt of persuaded him to see the benefit of my toys.

    Try telling him you dont want him to masturbate with his right hand anymore because you feel like he gets more pleasure from it than when you touch him, because his right hand seems to make him cum faster than you can. Every time you wank with your right hand I dont like it, it obviously gets you off too well so please stop, you can use your left hand or rub against the sheets, maybe it wont get you off but my ego would be soothed.....(Snark)

    1361903169
    KebertXela [sign in to see picture]
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    but felt like I couldnt reach for a bullet or something

    But a bullet isnt a threat.

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=2052

    That is.

    Any man who sees a 12" realistic cock and doesnt, on some level, think he has been replaced, is a better man than I.

    I'm not argueing its rational, but if he is uncomfortable with the idea, its probably going to be easier to find an idea he isnt uncomfortable with to start with.

    www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/sex-toys-for-couples/buyers-guide/how-to-introduce-sex-toys-into-a-relationship/

    1361903882
    Clown Feet [sign in to see picture]
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    I know in our relationship it was actually me who brought the idea up with my gf first. I had been wanting to buy her something for ages, mainly because the idea of her being turned on, turns me on, however i manage to make it happen. As far as i'm concerned, any way to enhance things or make them more fun is exactly that...FUN!!! :)

    1361907906
    HappilyExperimenting [sign in to see picture]
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    bite me - I think you should sit down and have a long talk. Sex toys should enhance a relationship, not strain it. Maybe an eight inch dildo (especially a realistic one) is not a good place to start. Try experimenting with a small bullet vibe first, or flavoured lube. Get him used to things that improve your sex life in the bedroom first before you sit down and say "I bought a 8 inch dildo". Put yourself in his shoes: How would you like it if he bought one of these: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=20093 You would feel upset and confused, right?

    Sit down. Talk to him. Explain you want to use sex toys to enhance your relationship and make both of you feel good. Offer to buy him a stroker since you're in a long-distance relationship. Stress that your dildo isn't to replace him but to keep you in the mood whilst he's away - you don't want your libido to dissapear.

    Good luck, hope this is useful

    1361912896
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    KebertXela wrote:

    but felt like I couldnt reach for a bullet or something

    But a bullet isnt a threat.

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=2052

    That is.

    Any man who sees a 12" realistic cock and doesnt, on some level, think he has been replaced, is a better man than I.

    I'm not argueing its rational, but if he is uncomfortable with the idea, its probably going to be easier to find an idea he isnt uncomfortable with to start with.

    www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/sex-toys-for-couples/buyers-guide/how-to-introduce-sex-toys-into-a-relationship/

    I guess I just cannot get into the mindset of why on earth a disattached, rubber....thing should in any way be a threat. I know it happens, I just dont understand it. "A bullet is not a threat".... but if the object in question is larger than his penis then it is a threat? Why? Is the assumption that if this rubber object can stretch her vagina slightly wider than your penis can that she will suddenly sack you off, marry the dildo and live happily ever after?

    I mean, my partner has male strokers and some of them give him bloody intense orgasms. His fleshlights look pretty realistic and they have bobbles and ridges and they are tight etc, all sorts of sensations inside them that my vagina doesnt have but I do not feel threatened. If anything I am excited, watching the person I love have intense pleasure and I want to see it more! I am highly confused. Even though I do understand that some men can feel this way, My partner quite likes the idea of seeing big things inside me, If he gets his fist inside me does that mean I dont want his penis anymore??

    Arghhhh This concept goes over my head, I find it bizarre. My opinion is that it is almost verging on selfish. (You can have as much enjoyment and orgasms as my cock can give you and nothing more because it threatens me) Yet blokes are the first to scream and whinge if they get with a woman who refuses to give them blow jobs....why? because blow jobs feel amazing. well, so do vibrators and dildos boys. :)

    Why is is so focused around your penis anyway? Isnt it mutual pleasure and enjoyment in the bedroom? I am sure you all have your fantasies and desires and stimulations that you enjoy feeling and as long as its together, heck even if she plays without you there (Dont even try and pretend you dont do it guys :P) whats the threat?

    To me this idea is selfish, it is verging on telling a woman she cannot masturbate in a way that she finds most enjoyable because you are threatened by the possibility of the toy giving her more pleasure than you. So what if it does? Surely people realise that using a toy or masturbating feels good but it is nothing compared to the touch and feel of an actual real life lover? Grrrrrr!

    However, I guess I will reluctantly agree that in this case, if you are with a man (or woman) who is threatened by your toys, then maybe the best thing is to start small....Im not happy though!! LOL x

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