• Er? How do you pull?

    chylly fox [sign in to see picture]
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    That may sound a silly question, but I am nearly 40 and I have never "pulled". All of my partners I was friends with beforehand, then we became lovers. But after 12 years with the same person, I find myself single and ran out of friends.

    Anyone got advice/tips etc?

    TTurtle [sign in to see picture]
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    Yea, get yourself out there! Join local clubs (this could also give you the advantage of learning new hobbies), try see if there are any local singles nights etc.
    Big boost in your confidence: pick youself up some fly ass clothes..it doesn't matter that you're nearly 40, you can still be fashionable ;) I did that after becoming single and I feel so much better walking down the street looking half decent for once instead of looking like I was dragged through a hedge backwards

    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    I think the best way to meet someone or erm "pull" haha, would be to get yourself out there as much as possible, like TT says. As for the technique a lot of people swear by chat up lines or buying drinks or some other magic formula but I think the best thing you can do is be yourself, and start conversations.

    If you see someone you are interested in, try and find something you could mention, to get a conversation started. Try to avoid being too cheesy or sexual though, it turns a lot of people off. Maybe if you are at the bar you could comment on the drink she buys or how noisy it is in the bar. (In a jokey way, dont come across as a moaner lol) Humour also works really well and I think it is often quite awkward making that initial connection. Some compliments can work but tread carefully. Women have compliments thrown at them all the time and usually that guy will be off giving the same compliments to the next women depending on the interest he gets. So we tend to have this automatic twitch reaction to compliments and that is to be a bit mistrusting, especially if it is over elaborate and mainly focuseed on our looks. If you want to impress a woman, compliment something other than her looks. Maybe her tastes in music, or how funny she is for example.

    Other topics for conversation include current events, music and her. Ask her questions about herself but try not to come across too "stalker" or be too personal at first hehe. Even asking her her name can start conversation...."oh thats an interesting name, is it irish" etc. Never moan about yourself. A lot of guys do this and its so off putting. Comments about how your mean old ex ran off with the plumber and took all your money, or how your boss is such as ass or that nothing goes right for you, or generally moaning about how loud the music is and how expensive the drinks are and how freezing it is in here etc etc...no no!

    Really honestly the best way to meet someone I find is not in bars or pubs though. Although I have had two long term (+4 years at least) with 2 men both of who I met online and ened up living together. I wouldnt suggest bars or clubs or pubs for meeting someone. (Unless you are just wanting something a bit more casual)

    Id recommend online dating as well as joining clubs that interest you or putting yourself in situations where you can meet sober people who you can converse with without having to shout over the thumping music and not hearing a word!

    chylly fox [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks for the advice

    Ms HKM [sign in to see picture]
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    Sheer confidence.

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